Post by Bodhi on Jul 28, 2005 16:27:11 GMT -5
The End,
Thats what today was, since today was the last day at my temporary job. It ended sooner then expected. But what really concerned me was of course the girl I've been talking about on this thread. Well we found out this was the last day officially this morning so I knew she would know that this would be the last chance to talk to me if she did like me. Well on lunch break I sat again in the spot she sat for lunch yesterday and waited for her, testing her again to see if she would sit down with me. Well she eventually came but was talking with another guy. You may think I'd be jealous of that but not really since I knew the guy was only one of those really talkative guys that I guess cornered her into a conversation and kind of followed her to where she was sitting for lunch, he didn't seem her type and I don't think she had any romantic feelings for him. Well she didn't sit with me but across the street again. Now I don't know what would have happened if the guy wasn't with her and she had to choose to sit alone across the street or with me. But I do know the guy then left after about ten minutes and she was alone and had a chance to get up and walk over and sit with me, she didn't. What she did was talk on the damn cell phone again. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't even go over to her since she was occupied on the phone. So at that point I pretty much threw in the towel, realizing she didn't like me. She used the cell phone as a way to avoid me and any chance I would talk to her. It seemed hopeless and I was willing to accept the fact she just didn't have feelings for me, or probably had a boyfriend. But then at our last break of the day one last strange thing, it may mean nothing but I didn't know what to think of it. I went out on break and instead of even walking to where she usually sits I was so convinced it was hopeless sat in the parking lot curb and I made a call on my cell phone(ironic I know since I had complained about her on the cell phone). Well as I'm talking she comes up through the parking lot(I was sitting near the entrance to the building so she had to walk that way). I think she will just walk by me and back into work but then she walks slowly up on the opposite sidewalk of where I am(about 20 feet away) and lingers there, directly across from me. Then she pulls out her cell phone and seems to try and call someone but doesn't talk to anyone and plays with the buttons on her phone for about a minute. Then she leaves back into the building. I don't know what to make of that, it almost seemed(if I didn't know better) she wanted to talk to me one last time and was waiting to see if I'd get off my phone but then when i didn't she chickened out and went inside. But that doesn't make any sense with everything else that went on.
Anyway thats the last I saw her and it doesn't really matter now how she felt, there is no chance with her. I don't have any way to contact her and she doesn't have any way to contact me. The only chance I would see her again is if she works at the same place next year and I work there, but that would be over 8 months from now. I still think she didn't like me, but it was not 100% because it seemed she kept leaving the door slightly open. I don't know, I would rather she had made it tottaly clear she didn't like me. having even the faintest hope is not good if I will never see her again. I'm still confused about everything, but at least I made an effort. Every other time I'd liked a girl I never even got to really approaching them and they never knew how I felt. This time I did approach her and she must know how I feel. That is really the most I could do.
Thats what today was, since today was the last day at my temporary job. It ended sooner then expected. But what really concerned me was of course the girl I've been talking about on this thread. Well we found out this was the last day officially this morning so I knew she would know that this would be the last chance to talk to me if she did like me. Well on lunch break I sat again in the spot she sat for lunch yesterday and waited for her, testing her again to see if she would sit down with me. Well she eventually came but was talking with another guy. You may think I'd be jealous of that but not really since I knew the guy was only one of those really talkative guys that I guess cornered her into a conversation and kind of followed her to where she was sitting for lunch, he didn't seem her type and I don't think she had any romantic feelings for him. Well she didn't sit with me but across the street again. Now I don't know what would have happened if the guy wasn't with her and she had to choose to sit alone across the street or with me. But I do know the guy then left after about ten minutes and she was alone and had a chance to get up and walk over and sit with me, she didn't. What she did was talk on the damn cell phone again. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't even go over to her since she was occupied on the phone. So at that point I pretty much threw in the towel, realizing she didn't like me. She used the cell phone as a way to avoid me and any chance I would talk to her. It seemed hopeless and I was willing to accept the fact she just didn't have feelings for me, or probably had a boyfriend. But then at our last break of the day one last strange thing, it may mean nothing but I didn't know what to think of it. I went out on break and instead of even walking to where she usually sits I was so convinced it was hopeless sat in the parking lot curb and I made a call on my cell phone(ironic I know since I had complained about her on the cell phone). Well as I'm talking she comes up through the parking lot(I was sitting near the entrance to the building so she had to walk that way). I think she will just walk by me and back into work but then she walks slowly up on the opposite sidewalk of where I am(about 20 feet away) and lingers there, directly across from me. Then she pulls out her cell phone and seems to try and call someone but doesn't talk to anyone and plays with the buttons on her phone for about a minute. Then she leaves back into the building. I don't know what to make of that, it almost seemed(if I didn't know better) she wanted to talk to me one last time and was waiting to see if I'd get off my phone but then when i didn't she chickened out and went inside. But that doesn't make any sense with everything else that went on.
Anyway thats the last I saw her and it doesn't really matter now how she felt, there is no chance with her. I don't have any way to contact her and she doesn't have any way to contact me. The only chance I would see her again is if she works at the same place next year and I work there, but that would be over 8 months from now. I still think she didn't like me, but it was not 100% because it seemed she kept leaving the door slightly open. I don't know, I would rather she had made it tottaly clear she didn't like me. having even the faintest hope is not good if I will never see her again. I'm still confused about everything, but at least I made an effort. Every other time I'd liked a girl I never even got to really approaching them and they never knew how I felt. This time I did approach her and she must know how I feel. That is really the most I could do.