Post by rosepoet on Jun 25, 2006 16:47:22 GMT -5
bodhi395 said:
I realized today I think I've become used to being lonely and single. I feel less anxious and nervous and more comfortable when I don't have anywhere to go or dates to go on or anything to do. Its when I want to ask a girl out or go on a date that I get intense anxiety and nervousness and can't think about anything else and just have an unsettled feeling. Yet when I have no prospects about doing anything social I feel to some degree good. I can actually concentrate on other things in my life and enjoy the little things like watching movies or writing that I'm too distracted to enjoy when I have things going on.I'm scared I've become too used to being lonely and single and that I'll just continue along this road since breaking out of it is too difficult. I want with everything to have a girlfriend that I'm totally comfortable with, but getting there is too difficult and I think I'm just too comfortable being single and not going through that hell. I've tried it before and in every single case its ended up badly. Its a total contradiction though that I want it so much and yet feel more comfortable not going after what I want. Anyone else feel this way?
You're definitely not the only one who feels that way; I definitely feel your pain because I think/act on the same lines. For me, I know it's a false sense of security, and the challenge is wanting to change, and feeling like I'm stuck in a roadblock.
I'm 21 years old, single and quite taciturn. Coupled with many events in my life that really took their toll on me, I think that's what made me regress into being more solitary. I think that's a challenge I have to face in the near future. I don't want to say I'm a loner because I love people, and I'm a person who's very dedicated to my community; I volunteered in so many organizations and causes I felt passionate for, it's mindboggling. The problem is that I feel like I've lost that personal connection. I want to be a person who can fall in love and be comfortable admitting I'm in love, but I find myself wondering how I can. I try not to dwell on the past too much, but some people (and situations) seem to not want me to let it go.
*sigh* Well, I think it's safe to say we're all human and we have our experiences that shape us, in positive and negative ways. I think the most important thing is what we tell ourselves, because with our mindsets, we can create an opening, a path to change. It's not easy, and it takes quite a bit of time, but it's feasible.
I even know myself that I'm going to have to take a lot of time to change.