Post by Rose on Oct 7, 2006 10:27:26 GMT -5
So many thoughts have been swarming through my busy mind lately that it's been almost hard to sleep. One thing in particular about a dear friend of mine. This friend I have known for a full year as of a few days ago (and for quite some time I have considored to be my best friend in the world). We used to chat online for endless hours, chat about everything, life, and all the little things in it. Or we'd write each other long emails on those cold lonely nights. If one of us were sad, the other would always be there to lend a listening ear and even though we'd be thousands of miles apart, we never failed to help ease the other's pain. When he was feeling like crap because he thought everyone had forgotten his birthday, I was there to make sure he got an awesome b-day card. He was there for me when my grandma died in Feb. We knew each other's secrets and we discussed things that I never could with anyone. We may have never met face-to-face but it's as if we've known each other for years. We've even spoken of someday flying to the other's country and meeting in person when one of us had enough money.
Back when we first met, I couldn't believe I'd finally met someone I clicked with! I thought, finally! Someone who seems to need me as much as I need them! I felt I had somehow cheated lonelyness and I liked it. For that whole week my heart was fully happy.
But things changed... Little by little.
My dear friend got busy with things, work, studies, life. Now there's hardly enough time for us to chat. Although we are still in touch, it's not the same as it used to be. My friend doesn't email me anymore and barely has time to read the few I dare to send. The times I do see him online anymore, the conversations barely get much beyond the "Hello. how are you"s cause he'll be busy or distracted or chatting with someone else. Sometimes I wonder if he cares about our frendship as much as he says he does. He has become somewhat more cold and distant, even stranger-like at times and this hurts me alot. Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault. If it's cause he finds me boring or something. I have confronted him on it a couple of times but he just insists he's "busy" and things will get better, but they never really do. And I know something's changed. I dunno if it'll ever be the same but hey that's life I guess. I definitely savored the moment while it was there.
Back when we first met, I couldn't believe I'd finally met someone I clicked with! I thought, finally! Someone who seems to need me as much as I need them! I felt I had somehow cheated lonelyness and I liked it. For that whole week my heart was fully happy.
But things changed... Little by little.
My dear friend got busy with things, work, studies, life. Now there's hardly enough time for us to chat. Although we are still in touch, it's not the same as it used to be. My friend doesn't email me anymore and barely has time to read the few I dare to send. The times I do see him online anymore, the conversations barely get much beyond the "Hello. how are you"s cause he'll be busy or distracted or chatting with someone else. Sometimes I wonder if he cares about our frendship as much as he says he does. He has become somewhat more cold and distant, even stranger-like at times and this hurts me alot. Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault. If it's cause he finds me boring or something. I have confronted him on it a couple of times but he just insists he's "busy" and things will get better, but they never really do. And I know something's changed. I dunno if it'll ever be the same but hey that's life I guess. I definitely savored the moment while it was there.