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Post by meow on Jan 25, 2005 17:42:11 GMT -5
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Post by Twice-Shy on Jan 25, 2005 18:25:44 GMT -5
Thanks for that. That reminds me of an old Philip Larkin poem called 'This Be The Verse':
They f**k you up, your mum and dad,
They don't mean to but they do.
They fill you full of all their faults,
And add in some extra just for you...
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Post by HybridMoment on Jan 26, 2005 20:57:37 GMT -5
I should read this book, I don't necessarily want to just blame my parents for my shyness. But I know part of my being shy is their fault, my parents never allowed me to go to other kids houses and pretty much discouraged me from being social by never allowing me to join after school activities and sports.
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Post by Medici on Jan 26, 2005 22:36:31 GMT -5
My parents really bug me and so I have to keep them at a distance. They were always very controlling and like to meddle in everything they can get their hot little hands on. They will never learn so I simply have to live apart and away from them.
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tylo
New Member
Posts: 36
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Post by tylo on Dec 7, 2009 18:47:39 GMT -5
It sounds like this book talks about Toxic shame.
Other good books on the subject would be:
Healing the shame that binds you by john bradshaw
Bradshaw:on the family by john bradshaw
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Post by rockwife22 on Jan 19, 2010 12:06:35 GMT -5
Sounds interesting. When I was growing up I wasn't allowed to go over for sleepovers, to invite friends over, to do any after school activities, etc. My older brother did and my sister did. My mother wanted to keep me little forever I guess, keep me from others so I never went away.
I never even saw it for the longest time. (My mother is schizophrenic by the way) It wasn't until she came to live with us after her divorce that I finally started to see it.
Sounds like a good book, maybe I'll check it out. It might point out some things that will keep me from making those same mistakes with my little girl.
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Post by pluralzalpha2 on Feb 8, 2010 23:40:59 GMT -5
it does sound like something i might want to read. i read the John Bradshaw book plus another one by him about reclaiming your inner child.
i can remember wanting to put myself out there and get out of my comfort zone even as a teenager: i wanted to try out for a show with other teens; but when i told my mother she said something like maybe i better not they might make fun of me. so that discouraged me from trying out.
i used to think my dad caused me a lot of harm; but now i think my mother might have contributed more in some areas.
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Post by cyphrshy1 on Feb 11, 2010 2:18:20 GMT -5
some parents neglect their children; but other parents overprotect them. i think overprotecting a child does a child more harm than good; and the child grows up being overly dependent maybe being diagnosed with "dependent personality disorder" or similarly having "learned helplessness".
interesting book. also the J B series books cited also.
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tylo
New Member
Posts: 36
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Post by tylo on Jul 1, 2010 7:54:54 GMT -5
Just about anytime I wanted to do something my mom discouraged me from trying. She would tell me a bunch of reasons why I can't. That was very damaging. It created the beleive "Why even try I won't be able to do it anyway".
The kids at school liked to tease and make fun of me. It was bad. But my dad liked to tease and make fun of me too. He was just as bad or worse than the kids at school.
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Post by timarends on Aug 1, 2010 21:59:30 GMT -5
I can blame my parents for my shyness, except genetically, and of course, they had to get the genes from somewhere too, so perhaps I should blame Adam and Eve or the first caveman, depending on your point of view!
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Post by guywhocodes on Aug 11, 2010 23:19:30 GMT -5
Hmm interesting book. I am definitely going to read it. My mom is a extremely toxic person, I know
I shouldn't blame her for me being as shy as I am but I think she's part of the reason
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