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Post by angrycroc on Mar 9, 2006 23:27:42 GMT -5
Any advice on making friends? I've heard people mention joining clubs, gyms, and taking up martial arts. Problem with that is I don't want to spend hundreds of dollars just so I "might" make friends. I try to talk to people at work, but I would call them more of aquaintances than friends(and only two are close to my age) One major problem I have is that most people my age hang out in malls. Even if I was more social I wouldn't like malls. I like to get out and do stuff in the outdoors(urban exploring, hiking, boating, roller blading, fishing, etc). Older people seem to like me more than younger people. I would like younger friends though, so I can go on adventures and stuff. What I've been doing lately is going on the trails in my area and saying "hi", "hi, hows it going", and lately "Hi, walk here often". While doing the last one today someone told me "Go F*ck yourself"(boy was I tempted to say "naw, I would rather f*ck up your face"). People like that are what used to make it hard for me to believe that there are good people in the world. The last one does seem to start mini conversations though(except for mr. sunshine today) I'm going to try going fishing everyday, but so far I've only met old people. At least with fishing the people come to you(asking if you caught anything). Any other ideas on how to get people to come to you?(i've had ideas like drawing in a park or wearing shirts with interesting quotes) Another idea I had was to try to meet people in my area online. I have a problem with making first impressions though. I either come off as emotionless or talk way too much. Another prob I might have is I don't put too much importance in cloths. I don't rush out to buy the latest fashion. I think your personality is a hell of a lot more important than what you wear. Wish more people were less materialistic Sorry if that was long. I'm just very frustrated
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Post by respectful on Mar 10, 2006 1:42:59 GMT -5
What I've been doing lately is going on the trails in my area and saying "hi", "hi, hows it going", and lately "Hi, walk here often". While doing the last one today someone told me "Go F*ck yourself" That's absolutely disgraceful - no one should be treated like that. It only adds weight to my own belief that only about 2 people out of a 100 are worth meeting. (if that) I think the indirect means you are thinking of are good. A caravan park owner once told me he liked having the guys who sailed stay at his park for they were quieter and tidier, rather than the power boat owners. I used to sail, and had a lot of fun (not well enough now) and that way we invited people from time to time to join us. .
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Post by Stranger on Mar 10, 2006 2:20:22 GMT -5
How well do you know those people at work? What if you grabbed lunch together one day or drinks after work? You might find you have a common interest or two. Do you meet the same people when you go walking? If not, I don't think you're likely to gain a longterm friend that way. Also, when I go walking at least, I like to relax and be with my thoughts. About the last thing I'm after is the anxiety from conversing with a complete stranger! (I'd never say "go fuck yourself" though - that's horrible.) Just something to consider. The only other idea I have is to find interest groups in your area. Check any local papers, community centers, etc. Also, sites like meetup.com might help you find something (unfortunately meetup.com fell out of favor with many after they started charging groups for registering - google around for alternatives). But yeah, it's a lot easier to make friends through existing friends. Loner's catch-22.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 10, 2006 2:42:04 GMT -5
I strongly advise against making friends at work. Work is competitive and you never know when someone will stick it to you for their own gain.
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Post by angrycroc on Mar 10, 2006 7:08:34 GMT -5
"How well do you know those people at work? What if you grabbed lunch together one day or drinks after work? You might find you have a common interest or two." I'm under 21 so the drinks are out (good idea though). I only work part time so the lunch is a prob. I was thinking of asking a few that I know like to fish if they want to go when it gets warmer. "Do you meet the same people when you go walking? If not, I don't think you're likely to gain a longterm friend that way. " I rarely run into the same people. Its a busy paved trail that goes through the city.
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Post by Stranger on Mar 13, 2006 2:07:33 GMT -5
I strongly advise against making friends at work. Work is competitive and you never know when someone will stick it to you for their own gain. Crikey - where have you been working!? I've known "ladder-climbers" sure, but most people are pretty decent in my (limited) experience. If you're surrounded by assholes there's not much you can do, but if you're lonely making one or two good friends can be a world of difference!
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Post by fighter on Apr 2, 2006 6:42:15 GMT -5
You just need to put yourself into positions that yield opportunities to meet people. Going to the gym, joining a club is a great idea even if you're on your own. Of course the other obvious one is where you work/study, try to look positive (e.g. smile) and say 'hey, how's it going?' etc. It takes time but the rewards are worth it.
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Post by wagnerr on Apr 3, 2006 13:35:41 GMT -5
I strongly advise against making friends at work. Work is competitive and you never know when someone will stick it to you for their own gain. Crikey - where have you been working!? I've known "ladder-climbers" sure, but most people are pretty decent in my (limited) experience. If you're surrounded by assholes there's not much you can do, but if you're lonely making one or two good friends can be a world of difference! Making friends at work is a good idea, but one must always remember that they are employees first, and friends second. This means trying to be professional at work as often as possible. Yall are there to do a job, not make friends. ;)Now, after hours it's perfectly okay to clown around with them. But on the clock or whatever, employees need to do accomplish the work. I've known a few ladder climbers, but not many. In my experience, these types tend to be strongly disliked by others but respected because of their ability to get the job done, whatever it is. At times, they do commit employee betrayal at times, yes. So it's best not to become too personal with them, because their goals are to be the best.
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Post by charge on Jul 15, 2006 8:23:03 GMT -5
You should join an activity (or several) that you enjoy and that interests you. When I was around your age, I started taking dance classes in salsa, which is good way to get in contact with people of both sexes. Of course, you have to make an effort to get to know people and in taking initiatives to do things and spend time together. It's not enough to just hang around if you don't make a conscious effort to actually talk to people, and to be forthcoming when someone approaches you. In my experience, it's best to focus on the activity, and to start it out of genuine interest. If you are overly eager and too desperate in making friends too fast, it will influence the way people perceive you. Give it some time, try to find things that interest you, i.e. common ground with people, and you will pick up friends along the road. Remember, you are young and have time to get things right. There is no need to panic.
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Post by sophia on Jul 23, 2006 7:08:35 GMT -5
yeah i agree with agreecroc. i used to find it really easy to make friends but in recent times its just become really difficult since i'm changing and have have different interests etc. i have a few friends but i always find it difficult to make more. I dont have an answer or a solution but just that your best bet is to go where you know there is likely to be people like youself.
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Post by shyaussiegal on Jul 26, 2006 23:38:32 GMT -5
I've been regularly posting on a local blog site... anyhow, there's a large group of us who seem to have many similar interests etc, so about 2mths ago we all agreed to meet up. Since then, we've met up on numerous occassions and have a fantastic time, I've met some great people and am still meeting more. It may seem a lil bizarre to some (meeting complete strangers from online)... each to their own I suppose. It's just a different way to meet new people who have like-minded views/interests
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Post by prospero on Oct 17, 2006 12:15:19 GMT -5
This free article is pretty good How to Get a Social Life www.howtobecooler.com/sociallifeIf you find everyone seems to be into certain things, then it may help to stretch your boundries and try to enjoy those things...or at least put up with them so you can hang out with people. You can also work on 'selling' the activities you like to people.
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Post by lavigne on Oct 27, 2006 15:56:31 GMT -5
I agree making friends at work. It makes your working relationship with them harmonious. It is very important for an organization in order to be successful. You can gain friends anywhere. So just go wherever suits you and just be friendly. You may not be good friends after, but at least you had friends in that particular moment. It is normal that you receive negative reactions but the problem there is not with you but with them. ___________________________________________________ social skills Free Report reveals social skills secrets that work like magic. Get it here: www-socialskills.com/self confidence Free Report reveals how to develop self-confidence. Get it here: www-confidence.com/
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