hi

[g3netix]

hi im new here, um i need some help, im shy and i hate it. i got 2 real good friends, there both shy as well, but when were together, we talk and talk and talk, but i know we hardly talk to any body else apart from family, im the only 1 of us that actually has a job, i was forced to go to the interview and i got it, i work with alot of people and meet alot of people but i just cant talk to them, always like 2 to 3 word chats like, "hey how ya doing" "im good" thats it, and i always blush infront of people, mostly girls. i dunno whats wrong i was very popular at school and college but it just aint happening at work. i got a car as well, passed first time and i not that bad looking either (hehe), i got it all, but im too damn shy to mix with others any advice, i would read the other topics but im lazy =)

[moogle]

hi..uhm..g..
welcome to the forum
i know how you feel. i never realized how good i had it in school until it was over. now i live in a city where i only know one person.
what do you do for a job? maybe if you found something to talk about that was relevent to the job, it might make it easier to talk about other things. (for instance, at my last job, we all got along because we hated it so much).
what are your hobbies? if you and your friends have similar hobbies, maybe there's something you can all get into that's related, that way, you have each other and might not feel so awkward in a new environment.

[Twice-Shy]

Welcome to the SHY United Boards.

I was pretty popular at school as well and it was only when I left that I became pretty shy and would hardley talk. I think a lot of it was to do with the fact that I had been at school with the guys in my class for 5 years - so they knew me and I knew them. Once I started Uni and then work it was a differnet story. During my last job, there were people I never talked to as well.

Moogle is right. You should start with a few things you have in common like the work you're doing or the weaather. That will act as a great confidence builder and you can move on from there. Confidence is the key.

[g3netix]

im 19 and work in a k-mart sort of place, like shopping market

[NewOrleansLady]

Welcome to SHY United!

Everyone here understands what you are going through and always has good suggestions. Just being able to discuss things with other people helps out a lot.

I keep saying this but, I think it helps if you know why you are shy. For example, I am so concerned with what other people are thinking of me that I usually become a wallflower in social situations. Since I have found the source, I know what I need to work on.

As far as you 2-3 word chats go, I suggest calling the person that you are chatting with by name. It just makes it seem a little more personal and, will make you stand out to them because it's not as generic.

[g3netix]

thx lady, im proberly the same as you, im concered of what people think of me all the time, thats the main problem, im always thinking that what im gonna say is bore em or make em think im stupid and stuff like that, but actually today i pretty good, i talked in a group (first time in ages) and actually made them laugh

[NewOrleansLady]

Good job, I'm happy for you. You and I do sound a lot alike, I'm am also worried about being boreing . I tend to agree with people that I am in conversation with just to make things easy and I hardly ever ask personal questions because I am afraid that people will think that it's none of my buisness. So I basiclly don't give too much back in a conversation, I just smile and nod and react the way the other person would like me to react.
I think that tomorrow I will make it a point to put my two cents in, when I am talking with somebody, weather they will agree or not.

[g3netix]

hehe lady yeah we are alike alot, i smile and laugh ALOT just so i dont have to answer and im always nodding alot. and i ALWAYS agree with the person who is talking to me, i cant say what i feel. my bosses at work are like very friendly and funny people, and its hard to mix naturally with them. but im lucky really cos they help me, by bringing me into chats with others alot and trying to boost my confidence, i know there trying to help me overcome shyness and 1 day when i overcome it i will thx them

[spitzig]

I tend to think disagreements are more interesting than agreements. I also don't get pissed off discussing politics or religion. People around me sometimes do, though.

[Twice-Shy]

The old saying of 'be yourself' is very true were shyness is concerned. Never try to pretend to be anything your not - like try to act the stud when that's not really you. You will find that it's far easier to live with yourself if you are true to yourself - and people will accept you for what you are.