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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 7:23:31 GMT -5
Post by idonotfearsilence on Oct 9, 2005 7:23:31 GMT -5
Hello You know I registared here the other day and had no idea where to say hello, as a very shy person I didn't want to just barg in and make a post in the general sectionso this place is deffinatly appreachated.
Anyway I'm female, 20 and shy. I'm in my last year at university where my socialy anxiorty is a big problem. Bascically one of my main problems is, and I've heared other people on here say similar things, that my life is passing me by. You always here people talking about their students days they always seem to have had such a good time with loads of funny stories to tell. Well I have no funny stories or experiances, I live in hall and all I do is go to lectures in the day and then at night come home and sit in front of my comptuer. Has anyone else had the same experiance living in halls. The people on my corridor seem nice but arn't my type of people they go out and get drunk and stay up late playing music loudly I don't have anything in commen with them so have nothing to say to them. I don't mind sitting on my own at all it's just I have the feeling I should be out having a good time otherwise I would have wasted the whole university experiance. But the worst thing is I'm too scared to tell my parents or peoiple back home how unhappy I am my older sister went to uni and had the time of her life and so I feel I should be as well so I lie I write an email home every week about how much fun I'm having and about how I've been going out every night drinking, I've even half invented myself a boyfriend (I've not had a real one yet) I mean how sad is that?
Anyway soory about this not the most coherent person in the world and I know the spelling bad I just so wanted to write something, might go back later and try and edit my post to make it make some more sense it's just if I don't hit the post message button now I never will.
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 7:43:52 GMT -5
Post by Tal on Oct 9, 2005 7:43:52 GMT -5
Hi welcome I know what it's like to spend your whole time at uni on your own, not making any friends. In my first year I was stuck in university accomodation with people I didn't have anything in common with and the other two years I just rented a small flat on my own outside uni, so I was pretty much isolated. Yeah, life is passing by, but at 20 it hasn't passed yet. The important thing is you've gotten to the end of uni and will hopefully achieve what a degree (that's what you're there for). A lot of people don't even get that far, which includes extroverts. I tend to look on the social aspect as an optional extra, which I guess I didn't find at uni. btw, the post's fine. No need to edit
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 7:46:23 GMT -5
Post by gSteve on Oct 9, 2005 7:46:23 GMT -5
Hi, welcome to SU.
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 8:14:36 GMT -5
Post by pnoopiepnats on Oct 9, 2005 8:14:36 GMT -5
Welcome to SU!
Just do what you feel like doing. You don't have to conform to what everyone else is doing; partying etc. just because that is the popular thing to do.
Yeah work people will ask what you did on the weekend and it seemed like there was some competition as to who could fit the most crap in, in one weekend.
I now proudly tell people I loafed around all weekend or slept or whatever and I get the impression that a few of these overextended over obligated people are a bit jealous of my lifestyle. ;D
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 8:44:05 GMT -5
Post by Tal on Oct 9, 2005 8:44:05 GMT -5
Thank you, you have no idea how good it is to hear someone say all that Good to know I'm not the only one who's been in this situation. During my second year I stayed in a bedsit away from everyone else the only problem was I didn't have internet access so I just sat alone without anything to do, the idea of have internet access was the only thing that forced me back into halls. I don't know how I'd survive without the Net lol. I put up with a 56k modem for those last two years of uni. Another problem is that I've been but with a load of freshers and so while I'm trying hard to concentrate on my final year they're all out just to have fun as you only have to get a pass in the first year. Yeah, I found in my first year, the uni was too noisy. I often couldn't get to sleep until quite late thanks to people shouting outside, playing music late or clattering about in the shared kitchen. And with all the asian students, there was ALWAYS the smell of rice which got too much for me. lol I could go on moaning about uni for several pages... I heard them all talking about me a while ago, turns out I've had so few social interactions with them they don't even know my name (I'm known as 'Mary' apparently which isn't my real name), and they were laughing about how I never come out of my room. I did go out to the library fairly often, but I'm sure the people there wondered why I never had any friends or went out in the evenings. To try and stop them doing this I've started pretending that I'm going out saying I'm going to see friends from my course, once I got dressed up like I was going to go out and then went and sat in the library for a few hours and then came back pretending to be drunk. I never really try to pretend. Sometimes its tempting, but I don't think I would do it. I'm happy with myself...at least enough to not want to conform to other's expectations. In all honesty, I think trying to conform makes you MORE miserable than accepting you're different and living by your own rules. F*ck them if they don't like you, but don't conform because you feel you have to. I just fear I'm going to be doing exactly the same things after I finish uni, I was reading a post on here about colleagues asking you 'what did you do on the weeked' and such like I feel the workplace is going to be even worse socially. ohh just noticed the spell check, that's a very useful thing to have! I'm dreading work in some ways...i'm not expecting it to be much better. Keep putting off job hunting, but at least I'm free from uni. Did it, survived it and ready to spend more lonely years doing something else equally as frustrating. lol
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 9:35:31 GMT -5
Post by pnoopiepnats on Oct 9, 2005 9:35:31 GMT -5
This is odd but did anyone notice that this thread vanished for a few minutes?
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 9:55:30 GMT -5
Post by Tal on Oct 9, 2005 9:55:30 GMT -5
I suspect so lol...especially if they were guys hehe
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 12:51:03 GMT -5
Post by sushiboat on Oct 9, 2005 12:51:03 GMT -5
One regret I have about my time in school -- both high school and college -- is that I didn't take greater advantage of the extracurricular activities. There are few places with as much going on as a university. No matter what you like, there is probably a club or society for it. So, try some extracurriculars.
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 13:41:14 GMT -5
Post by Tal on Oct 9, 2005 13:41:14 GMT -5
I know what you mean. I joined the university Tennis club in the first year and was pretty crap at it. Still I enjoyed going...there were plenty of equally as crap people there. I'm certainly glad I did it, if only for one year.
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Hello
Oct 9, 2005 19:53:01 GMT -5
Post by sushiboat on Oct 9, 2005 19:53:01 GMT -5
You could look in the wider community for activity organizations. There are also plenty of opportunities to volunteer at places like hospitals, day care, nursing homes, etc. If your university branch is sports-centric, its gym probably offers fitness lessons of all kinds (e.g., yoga, martial arts, aerobics). Also, 40 miles doesn't seem too far to go once a week if you find something cool happening on the main campus.
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