Post by shyguyincanada on Sept 10, 2006 18:05:22 GMT -5
hello,
I am well just another timid guy here, As much as I hate that no one ever notices me or starts up a conversation up without being disappointed in some way, I lead a very lonely life hardly ever going out except with a few friends who I am unsure how much they respect me if at all. My shyness has had more than a purely emotional effect as well ... When I first started high school I found it so hard to fit in that I would often fake illnesses to get out of going to school which snowballed so far that I had to be pulled out of school. Where I then did correspondence to salvage what was left after a tattered year of grade 9; which is when we start high school in Canada from there it only got worse. I tired to keep up with regular high school the next year, at a different school. But I fell into a similar routine again and ended up with less than stealer marks for the next three years. From there it got even worse and I went back to correspondence which was now being affected by a actual full blown mental condition where I would think I was sick but actually there was nothing wrong with me. I believe this was caused from hiding behind it for so many years. From here I then resorted to Internet gaming and reclusion, where I would not do any of my school work and when I got so far behind I then made up phony marks to fool my parents, which ended up finding out anyways. After that point I pretty much hit rock bottom... I dove into depression and even further into reclusion.
Things did get better however, i had a few girls who i met on-line, open my eyes. I don't think I will ever know how they felt about talking to me but from there I got going back to school finally at an adult education center. Which is very depressing, Its is very necessary to have a better life and move on. From there I started doing research into why I was in the position which I was now sitting in and have read a lot and talked to a few people about it. But through it all I kept telling myself the solution was to just "snap out of it" which I now realize is not at all possible but I must rather crawl out by my own raw bleeding fingers and nails. I have made more progress since then but as for an introduction I feel this will suffice and I look forward to becoming a part of your community here so until my next post I look forward to hopefully some sort of understanding and acceptance.
ps, this is straight from the heart please don't rip it out
I am well just another timid guy here, As much as I hate that no one ever notices me or starts up a conversation up without being disappointed in some way, I lead a very lonely life hardly ever going out except with a few friends who I am unsure how much they respect me if at all. My shyness has had more than a purely emotional effect as well ... When I first started high school I found it so hard to fit in that I would often fake illnesses to get out of going to school which snowballed so far that I had to be pulled out of school. Where I then did correspondence to salvage what was left after a tattered year of grade 9; which is when we start high school in Canada from there it only got worse. I tired to keep up with regular high school the next year, at a different school. But I fell into a similar routine again and ended up with less than stealer marks for the next three years. From there it got even worse and I went back to correspondence which was now being affected by a actual full blown mental condition where I would think I was sick but actually there was nothing wrong with me. I believe this was caused from hiding behind it for so many years. From here I then resorted to Internet gaming and reclusion, where I would not do any of my school work and when I got so far behind I then made up phony marks to fool my parents, which ended up finding out anyways. After that point I pretty much hit rock bottom... I dove into depression and even further into reclusion.
Things did get better however, i had a few girls who i met on-line, open my eyes. I don't think I will ever know how they felt about talking to me but from there I got going back to school finally at an adult education center. Which is very depressing, Its is very necessary to have a better life and move on. From there I started doing research into why I was in the position which I was now sitting in and have read a lot and talked to a few people about it. But through it all I kept telling myself the solution was to just "snap out of it" which I now realize is not at all possible but I must rather crawl out by my own raw bleeding fingers and nails. I have made more progress since then but as for an introduction I feel this will suffice and I look forward to becoming a part of your community here so until my next post I look forward to hopefully some sort of understanding and acceptance.
ps, this is straight from the heart please don't rip it out