Confused and hating it!!!

[sasyjenn]

Lets see, i recently met this guy who i thought (and still do think) is HOT. I gave him my number and from there he started texting me to see how i was feeling ( i had strep throat and a cold) and well he wanted to hangout with me but i wasnt up to it. Anyways we texted for over a week and then 2 thursdays ago we went out for the first time.

I guess you could say i was in shock by how good looking he was and how nice he was to me also. We went to his cottage and walked along the beach and then watched a movie in his car. ( I know it sounds weird but it was nice). It got dark and we left his car and we went down to the beach and looked at the stars, wow was it ever beautiful. I honestly felt that i could reach out and touch the stars. Anyways as soon as he dropped me home he texted me and told me how much fun he had and how he wanted to see me again etc.

I was very happy and couldnt wait. So last sunday we were supposed to hangout but his rad on his car blew so he spent all day sunday and monday trying to fix it. Then on tuesday he texted me again and we were going to hangout last thursday and then today (saturday). But he ended up having to stop texting me on wed because he phone was going to die but i figured he would text me once his phone would charge but he never did. So thursday came and i texted him to see if we were still hanging out and he sent me a message back saying he had things to do after work and he would let me know later at night. I haven't talked to him since and i do not know what to do?

I am afraid that i have some how screwed things up or scared him away? He knows that i am not like a lot of girls that are out there, i want a relationship. I am sick and tired of being used by guys who have no respect for me or i think they have respect but then they end up cheating on me. I am not a picky person nor am i mean. I am just so confused because i got out of the dating scene for a good while and now i am back in it but i am left wondering what to do. I don't want to keep sending him messages and getting mad at me nor do i want him to think im not interested either. Any help would be good especially from guys! Thank you.

[pnoopiepnats]

Well you do nothing. The ball is in his court.

Not trying to be nosy but did you do anything sexual with him on the date?

[sasyjenn]

Nope nothing, only kissing and there was not tounge involved either! You see, i told him before hand that i don't just sleep with any guy. I am not like that plus i want to be respected for who i am before i even consider sleeping with a guy plus be in a relationship too yes i am old fashioned in that sense!

[Sweet Pea]

i agree with pnats. ball's in his court. you've called him twice. if he's interested, he knows where you are.

[sasyjenn]

Your right, its just frustrating not knowing what to do or if hes even interested anymore. Its horrible going from talking all the time to now nothing

[Sweet Pea]

Jun 7, 2008 19:33:22 GMT -5 sasyjenn said:

Your right, its just frustrating not knowing what to do or if hes even interested anymore. Its horrible going from talking all the time to now nothing

i understand, but you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone with whom the feelings weren't mutual would you? i liked a shy guy i knew so much once that i asked him out seven times, so believe me...i know how you feel. but you can only have a relationship with somebody who's willing to meet you halfway. don't go nuts over it.

[sasyjenn]

Its true, i would hate to be with someone that i had no feelings for as honestly whats the point of the relationship then. See the thing is, if he had no feelings for me why was he the one who i guess pursued me? I was weary about going out with him first, and then he texted me and it was non stop, asking me things and even after going out with him he texted me not even 2 mins since i was home. Guys are sooo confusing!

[Sweet Pea]

Jun 7, 2008 19:44:40 GMT -5 sasyjenn said:

Its true, i would hate to be with someone that i had no feelings for as honestly whats the point of the relationship then. See the thing is, if he had no feelings for me why was he the one who i guess pursued me? I was weary about going out with him first, and then he texted me and it was non stop, asking me things and even after going out with him he texted me not even 2 mins since i was home. Guys are sooo confusing!

yeah, well...they're always saying the same thing about us, lol.

there's really no way to know what he's thinking or why he's doing what he's doing. you can speculate endlessly and still you won't know. is that a good use of your energy and time?

[sasyjenn]

Ha ha good point, i feel blah i guess if i just do something constructive and not think about it maybe it will work out. Plus im sure he wouldnt want a sad girl ha ha. Thank you so much for the help, i really appreciate it. Its good that i can talk to someone about this even if i dont know you so thank you

[Sweet Pea]

Jun 7, 2008 20:01:58 GMT -5 sasyjenn said:

Ha ha good point, i feel blah i guess if i just do something constructive and not think about it maybe it will work out. Plus im sure he wouldnt want a sad girl ha ha. Thank you so much for the help, i really appreciate it. Its good that i can talk to someone about this even if i dont know you so thank you

np.

he doesn't sound shy, so if he's not calling you it should be a pretty straightforward thing to interpret his behavior. try dealing with a shy guy sometime who will flirt and run away in turns. i remember i had a list of possible explanations for his behavior worked up once. here are some of them (a bit tongue in cheek, but you get my drift):

he's a hermaphrodite & is terrified i will reject him for his unusual genitalia.

he's secretly a black man who bleaches his skin & wears blue contacts, & he's afraid i'll reject him when i discover the truth.

he's a misogynist who delights in making women fall for him so he can reject them and cause them excrutiating emotional pain.

he has multiple personalities, and only one of them likes me.

he is being held captive by an evil band of rogue bdsm enthusiasts who watch his every move.

he is painfully shy and at times projects his anger at himself over his inability to connect onto me.

take your pick.

oh well, still luv him anyways.

(but i'm not gonna go crazy over it)

[pnoopiepnats]

You had one date so I wouldn't worry about it.

[sasyjenn]

Wow im glad hes not shy but at the same time it makes you wonder. I would love to not worry about it but i am a worrier which sucks and worry about all the small stupid things. But thank you again

[Sweet Pea]

Jun 8, 2008 16:20:49 GMT -5 sasyjenn said:

Wow im glad hes not shy but at the same time it makes you wonder. I would love to not worry about it but i am a worrier which sucks and worry about all the small stupid things. But thank you again

yeah, worrying over a relationship pretty much ruins it in my opinion. life should be enjoyed. romantic relationships should be enjoyed. if it's nothing but angst and worry - why do it?

[pnoopiepnats]

One date isn't a relationship.

I think you are investing way too much thought into something that should be a blip on the screen. It was one date with someone.

You haven't heard from him. It means he's not interested.

Date other boys.

[sasyjenn]

Oookay you dont have to be rude about it. The only reason i asked for advice was because i wasn't sure what i should do as well i actually thought there was something between us, like we connected but i guess i was wrong.