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Post by Outcast on Jul 4, 2008 22:27:20 GMT -5
Sometimes, i wonder. Some say you should choose your friends well. While others would warn, there are people out there who only take advantage of you and use you. I have come across a lot of people and made some new aquaintances, perhaps even some friends. Yet i often find myself thinking, could i really call some of these people my friends? I guess, i have a high expectation of what friends do for each other. (Maybe seen too many movies.) I think i tend to expect more frequent two way conversations. It's just that sometimes i'm doubtful when i'm always the one calling them up or when i'm left hanging in the middle of exchanging short messages via cellphone. They greet me, I greet them back and ask how they are. But then i get no reply. Makes me kind of think i am wrong to expect anything from friends. How do you guys do it? Well here are some sites i've found regarding friends. www.tomorrowsedge.net/real-friends.htmlwww.girl.com.au/realfriends.htm |
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etn
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Post by etn on Jul 5, 2008 1:00:01 GMT -5
Honestly, I try not to worry about. In the past when I've written an e-mail to friend or left a phone message and I get no reply, my first reaction was to wonder what I had said or done wrong.
But, often it will turn out that they are caught up in something and have forgotten or can't get back to me for good reason (like a family emergency, etc).
There are times when the tables are turned and I'm the one who forgets for one reason or another to return an e-mail or a phone call.
I'm pretty selective about who I consider friends. The people I call friends are the people who I'm real close with. They have been there for me and I do my best to be there for them. Those are the friendships that I put extra effort into.
So, yeah, I guess I try to not put expectations on my friends because I've learned that no matter what, at some point they will disappoint me. With that in mind, the problem would be with me and not them.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jul 5, 2008 2:25:33 GMT -5
the articles make good points about 'real' friends going the extra mile for you...but it's also important not to abuse a friendship by constantly dumping on them or expecting them to put up with unpleasantness to prove their loyalty to you, etc. as in all things, balance is important.
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adion
Junior Member
Posts: 80
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Post by adion on Jul 8, 2008 2:09:05 GMT -5
the articles make good points about 'real' friends going the extra mile for you...but it's also important not to abuse a friendship by constantly dumping on them or expecting them to put up with unpleasantness to prove their loyalty to you, etc. as in all things, balance is important. ^^I have had so called friends that do those kinds of things to me. With most of the close friends I have had, I seem to be a better friend to them than they were to me. That probably says something about me. |
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Post by madiocre on Jul 8, 2008 5:53:51 GMT -5
yeah I have a lot of friends seem to just want to talk about their issues to me all the time . Im of the nature that i don't mind but sometimes there comes a point especially when you have your own issues and even a mention of them gets a blank response or i once even had one rudely say "ok lets talk about me " when honestly that seems to be all we ever talk about .
but i have one friend though who truly cares and encourages me to talk about issues and likes being there to help but I find it weird talking about myself for too long i feel somewhat selfish if I do and will often just check in and see if that other person is ok with it .
Its a personality thing too some people like helping others with their issues some just don't , regardless of weather you enjoy it or not its something you need to learn to do if you want to form "real friendships"
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Jul 8, 2008 22:54:17 GMT -5
Sometimes, i wonder. Some say you should choose your friends well. While others would warn, there are people out there who only take advantage of you and use you. I have come across a lot of people and made some new aquaintances, perhaps even some friends. Yet i often find myself thinking, could i really call some of these people my friends? I guess, i have a high expectation of what friends do for each other. (Maybe seen too many movies.) I think i tend to expect more frequent two way conversations. It's just that sometimes i'm doubtful when i'm always the one calling them up or when i'm left hanging in the middle of exchanging short messages via cellphone. They greet me, I greet them back and ask how they are. But then i get no reply. Makes me kind of think i am wrong to expect anything from friends. How do you guys do it? Well here are some sites i've found regarding friends. www.tomorrowsedge.net/real-friends.htmlwww.girl.com.au/realfriends.htmHow well do you know these friends? If you are at an acquaintance stage, I think it's pretty normal for them not to be that responsive unless they are actively trying to make friends. That doesn't mean you can't make friends with them, it just means it might take some work. |
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etn
Full Member
Posts: 107
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Post by etn on Jul 9, 2008 23:18:55 GMT -5
yeah I have a lot of friends seem to just want to talk about their issues to me all the time . Im of the nature that i don't mind but sometimes there comes a point especially when you have your own issues and even a mention of them gets a blank response or i once even had one rudely say "ok lets talk about me " when honestly that seems to be all we ever talk about . Watch out for those kind of people. People like that can easily become emotional parasites. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jul 10, 2008 0:39:13 GMT -5
yeah I have a lot of friends seem to just want to talk about their issues to me all the time . Im of the nature that i don't mind but sometimes there comes a point especially when you have your own issues and even a mention of them gets a blank response or i once even had one rudely say "ok lets talk about me " when honestly that seems to be all we ever talk about . Watch out for those kind of people. People like that can easily become emotional parasites. it's kinda funny to give them right back what they're dumping on you though. when people bend my ear about their silly personal problems, i like to just start rambling on about mine. blah blah blah blah blah...generally it's the quickest way to stop the problem.  |
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