|
|
Post by famfnl on Oct 9, 2008 2:13:20 GMT -5
I just wanna shoot myself!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 9, 2008 8:50:12 GMT -5
I just wanna shoot myself!! what now?  don't even think about it! i'm not sure why you feel so guilty about this, but i really don't think you should. do you think this guy would be happier if you wouldn't have even given him a second look? never went out with him? i doubt that. you gave it a shot, he had a chance, how does that make you a bad person? as far as i know, there's no way to make yourself physically attracted to someone. besides, you may be focusing on looks out of guilt. perhaps there's more to it than that. there usually is. possibly there are other things about him that are putting you off, but you're not as focused on them. but whatever, physical attraction is really out of our control. you shouldn't feel guilty. i mean, you're just as disappointed as he will be that it didn't happen for you, aren't you? |
|
|
|
Post by famfnl on Oct 9, 2008 18:16:04 GMT -5
I just wanna shoot myself!! what now? don't even think about it! i'm not sure why you feel so guilty about this, but i really don't think you should. do you think this guy would be happier if you wouldn't have even given him a second look? never went out with him? i doubt that. you gave it a shot, he had a chance, how does that make you a bad person? as far as i know, there's no way to make yourself physically attracted to someone. besides, you may be focusing on looks out of guilt. perhaps there's more to it than that. there usually is. possibly there are other things about him that are putting you off, but you're not as focused on them. but whatever, physical attraction is really out of our control. you shouldn't feel guilty. i mean, you're just as disappointed as he will be that it didn't happen for you, aren't you? Last night, I agreed to go out with him again tomorrow night and saturday night. So, if nothing really happens again this weekend then I'm just gonna tell him to just stay friends. The reason why I feel guilty is because I keep calling him babe and stuff and I don't really mean it but I want to mean it. I guess my answers will be resolved this weekend. Also, I know how it feels to getting your all your hopes up and then taken away from you when you least expect. It sucks and i just don't want to do that to him you know. Thanks Sweet Pea for your constant response to me  I can't really explain this to my friends either. They seem to not understand. Oh yea, i guess you can say that i am disappointed because I finally find a guy that I like as far as his personality and values goes, but his looks are not so appealing to me  I didn't realize how important that little detail is in a relationship until now. I always shot for the heart and ignored the looks but I see now that it is just as important :/ |
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 9, 2008 23:36:14 GMT -5
what now? don't even think about it! i'm not sure why you feel so guilty about this, but i really don't think you should. do you think this guy would be happier if you wouldn't have even given him a second look? never went out with him? i doubt that. you gave it a shot, he had a chance, how does that make you a bad person? as far as i know, there's no way to make yourself physically attracted to someone. besides, you may be focusing on looks out of guilt. perhaps there's more to it than that. there usually is. possibly there are other things about him that are putting you off, but you're not as focused on them. but whatever, physical attraction is really out of our control. you shouldn't feel guilty. i mean, you're just as disappointed as he will be that it didn't happen for you, aren't you? Last night, I agreed to go out with him again tomorrow night and saturday night. So, if nothing really happens again this weekend then I'm just gonna tell him to just stay friends. The reason why I feel guilty is because I keep calling him babe and stuff and I don't really mean it but I want to mean it. I guess my answers will be resolved this weekend. Also, I know how it feels to getting your all your hopes up and then taken away from you when you least expect. It sucks and i just don't want to do that to him you know. Thanks Sweet Pea for your constant response to me I can't really explain this to my friends either. They seem to not understand. Oh yea, i guess you can say that i am disappointed because I finally find a guy that I like as far as his personality and values goes, but his looks are not so appealing to me I didn't realize how important that little detail is in a relationship until now. I always shot for the heart and ignored the looks but I see now that it is just as important :/ no problema. glad you find it helpful to talk about it. sooner or later we all get rejected by somebody ya know. literally everybody experiences this. even good looking people. i'm sure if it hasn't already happened to you, it will eventually, so prepare yourself, lol. just don't drag things out too long and drive yourself crazy over this. as long as you aren't deliberately saying hurtful things to him, you're not doing anything to feel guilty over by choosing to wait for someone you're truly compatible with. |
|
|
|
Post by famfnl on Oct 13, 2008 13:15:29 GMT -5
Yup, thats what my friend just told me yesterday lol He's like be with the guy but also look around for other potential guys that may suit me better. Thats kind of like cheating on him I think, but I don't know. I guess I'll be selfish if I do that, but I have a feeling he's kind of doing that as well, so whatever lol.
|
|
gaia
New Member
Posts: 9
|
Post by gaia on Oct 13, 2008 15:52:40 GMT -5
Yup, thats what my friend just told me yesterday lol He's like be with the guy but also look around for other potential guys that may suit me better. Thats kind of like cheating on him I think, but I don't know. I guess I'll be selfish if I do that, but I have a feeling he's kind of doing that as well, so whatever lol. Some people do "window shop" a lot. They see dating as something casual and don't stay committed unless they've both agreed that it's serious. Just chill and enjoy yourself. |
|
|
|
Post by pnoopiepnats on Oct 15, 2008 17:39:47 GMT -5
Yup, thats what my friend just told me yesterday lol He's like be with the guy but also look around for other potential guys that may suit me better. Thats kind of like cheating on him I think, but I don't know. I guess I'll be selfish if I do that, but I have a feeling he's kind of doing that as well, so whatever lol. Some people do "window shop" a lot. They see dating as something casual and don't stay committed unless they've both agreed that it's serious. Just chill and enjoy yourself. If you are just dating casually then you should be "window shopping". My mother who is 81 believes a gal should window shop until there is a ring and a date. She said that since most of the time dating is to find someone to marry, it makes no sense to tie yourself down to someone who isn't going to marry you as you can be out finding someone who is keen and ready to marry you. I think my mom is just tired of seeing me end up unhappy in relationships. She told me I wasn't cut out for marriage and I should just date someone until they start to get lazy in the relationship and dump them for someone new.  I guess she feels bad that I spent 20 years in an abusive marriage and wants me to be happy and have fun. |
|
|
|
Post by deadendphilosopher on Oct 15, 2008 19:55:52 GMT -5
Famfnl, I can definitely understand your guilt, though I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong. If you meant what you said when you said it, then you were honest. Now that you feel differently don't say it again.
By the way, I have a thought I want to throw out to you - I had what I consider to be my first kiss this summer, and it was with a guy who I definitely felt physically attracted to. However I was really, really nervous around him and my anxiety and intention not to get too attached numbed me inside so that I didn't feel anything when he kissed me for the first and second time. However on what I guess was the third date, we made out and I consciously let go of some of my inhibition, and then started to enjoy it. Also, before we dated he was flirtatious with me and I assumed it didn't mean anything, so I started to feel really attracted to him because I didn't feel any pressure. Then as it became more clear that he was interested in me, the physical attraction mysteriously diminished/disappeared?, though I definitely still felt very interested in him. I think that was because the whole thing made me really scared, but as I started to get more comfortable, it started to come back. I don't know if that could be something that is going on with you?
|
|
|
|
Post by famfnl on Nov 6, 2008 23:08:04 GMT -5
Hey you guys,
I know I haven't been on for a long time now. Well, I though I'd update on the guy I was dating. I finally told him the day before Halloween to just stick to being friends and I guess he didnt' like that idea because he hasn't texted/called or anything. I even explained the reason why but he was still mad at me for some reason. Oh well. Time to move on....
But do u think I should chat online with him? I don't know, now I feel weird if I talk with him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 7, 2008 1:25:57 GMT -5
Hey you guys, I know I haven't been on for a long time now. Well, I though I'd update on the guy I was dating. I finally told him the day before Halloween to just stick to being friends and I guess he didnt' like that idea because he hasn't texted/called or anything. I even explained the reason why but he was still mad at me for some reason. Oh well. Time to move on.... But do u think I should chat online with him? I don't know, now I feel weird if I talk with him. hey, nobody wants to hear that 'lets just be friends' stuff from someone they're hot for. you wouldn't like it either, i'm sure. you did what you had to do...and yeah, time to move on. |
|
I can't really explain this to my friends either. They seem to not understand. 
I didn't realize how important that little detail is in a relationship until now. I always shot for the heart and ignored the looks but I see now that it is just as important :/ 
