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Post by seadragon on Oct 27, 2008 9:35:20 GMT -5
I'm still really shy, but much less so than I used to be. I contribute my growth in this area to be due to my having taken a lot of time developing different aspects of myself that i like that do not involve other people. as a counter example to help illustrate the point, when i was younger i used to like to play music, but i ultimately realized that my interest in playing music was at least in part related to the hope that others would notice me. more recently, i took a lot of time developing aspects of myself and interests that i really like THAT ARE TOTALLY INDEPENDENT OF ANYONE ELSE. A lot of these interests and hobbies, I realized, were things sort of left over from my childhood. What did developing these self-reliant hobbies help me with? Well, they made it so that acceptance or rejection by others was no longer able to affect every aspect of my self concept--it wasn't as big of a deal, as I had other things I was happy with in my life that another individual's rejection wouldn't affect, that I could still function on some level. When my self-concept was entirely built around being accepted, rejection of course would affect me in every aspect of my life. So, with these ideas in mind, what you consider to be your core self-attributes and hobbies? To what extent can you feel truly good about yourself in all of these areas irregardless of if others like you or not?
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Post by rukryM on Oct 27, 2008 10:25:11 GMT -5
, when i was younger i used to like to play music, but i ultimately realized that my interest in playing music was at least in part related to the hope that others would notice me. more recently, i took a lot of time developing aspects of myself and interests that i really like THAT ARE TOTALLY INDEPENDENT OF ANYONE ELSE. I think I see why, you didn't want to play music since it involved others somehow. But does this mean that you have totally ditched the music? I don't think you should, though you don't like other being around you, you can still take pleasure in music on your own..and post videos on Youtube and so on if you want other people's opinions without them having to be in your physical surroundings. So, with these ideas in mind, what you consider to be your core self-attributes and hobbies? To what extent can you feel truly good about yourself in all of these areas irregardless of if others like you or not? Mine would be drawing and exercising, though the latter may involve others to some extent. Not a very big issue for me, anyway. Listening and {as odd as it might seem} categorizing music genres whenever I hear something new. Drawing when I listen to music is definitely my cup of tea. Especially after a workout. I actually haven't thought of it that way with these hobbies above, but when it comes to video and computer games {I play a little bit occasionally} I always pick games that are for one player. I dislike multiplayer games, not because of the idea, but because I don't have any to play with, or I'm too reserved to ask someone I know. Hence a very one-dimensional game collection^^. As for the last question I actually don't mind people being around me when I'm exercising, or for that sake, giving me comments/feedback on what I'm doing and how. I see it as help, not as an obstacle. When it comes to drawing, I'm VERY sensitive. I don't want my parents or anyone else to see and comment my work except my friends. Whom I trust and know well. It feels embarrassing having to show what I've done to others, or having them see my drawings and then commenting on them...that's why I hide everything whenever someone approaches me during my drawing sessions. The same thing for the video games, I feel awkward and I start to blush if people see me play^^. |
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Post by seadragon on Oct 27, 2008 12:37:01 GMT -5
I just don't really enjoy playing music anymore, honestly. certain events that occurred in my life led to too many negative associations for me with playing music. i'll sometimes play classical guitar still, as that interest developed somewhat after THE EVENTS. haha. Yeah, but I have enough other hobbies that I can put my creativity toward, so no longer playing music does not mean my means to self-expression are being wasted. Other major hobbies in my life are breeding seahorses/saltwater reef aquariums, practicing mentalism, and writing short screenplays. I don't really have all that much free time anyways as I'm working on a Ph. D. still. I'll post what I determined to be my core self-attributes later. Keeping them cognizant has made it easier for me to address those times where I get sad and don't know why. I've determined that it's likely because I'm neglecting one of these things.
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Post by rukryM on Oct 27, 2008 15:26:17 GMT -5
Your last lines, where you're addressing the matter of becoming sad without knowing why, can that be due to depression? Because I tend to experience the very same thing, suddenly I start for no reason thinking negative thoughts and start to believe that it's the end of the world. For me it seems that I'm also forgetting or neglecting something, and it might be the fact that I'm not satisfied with the social side of life now and that it makes me depressed. I don't know, it doesn't feel like I'm depressed either, it's just something that partially makes sense to me.
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