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Post by urbanspaceman on Nov 28, 2008 15:00:18 GMT -5
Right, I considered hijacking crimeclub's thread in the General Section, 'Ideal situation for meeting someone?' but in the end I just decided to stick my personal situation in the dreaded 'relationships' thread. As much as I'll feel an idiot for posting this, here goes: Ok, so I've been working with someone for the past month or two, and in the past week or so I've been getting the feeling I want to ask her if she'd want to do something with me outside of work sometime. We get along great, have a laugh, bit of a flirt and all that but like I said in the past few days I have had the feeling I want to get to know her a bit more. My question really revolves around the whole 'asking someone out that you work with' quandry, and is it ever really a good idea? The biggest thing obviously being that you can make things awkward between the two of you whatever the outcome, short term or long term. I do only work with her on a Sunday so it's not like I see her every day of the week, and I know in the end it comes down to me gauging the situation and deciding whether the risks of asking a workmate out are worth it. I've also considered asking the opinion of another workmate who I'm good friends with and seeing what see thinks of the idea. As in whether I really should do it, if the girl likes me back, etc......(and yes I do know I'm overthinking this already) So yeah the next time I'll see her is this Sunday coming, but then I'm out of the country on holiday from the Monday to Saturday. Soooooo, the other question from me would be (if I should ask her out at all), should I just wait and decide on this after I come back from holiday, or just ask her if she wants to do something the weekend after this one? The only other thing I can think of to say at this time is that she's just a cool girl I'd like to get to know more  I do apologise for my complete inadequacy with explaining this, I'm far from an expert but I just wanted to get a bit of input here. Any posts or pm's on the subject welcome, I'll try and clarify things for folk if I've been confusing somewhere along the line (highly likely  ) Cheers dudes |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 28, 2008 15:50:33 GMT -5
If you don't see her more than one day of the week I'd say you go for it, compared to others who ask full-time coworkers out and then blow it you're relatively lucky {I don't mean to put it like you won't succeed, but I guess you take my point anyway }. Consult your other workmate and ask for her opinion, but don't base your choice on that, base on your feelings. It seems to me like you really want to know her better, and after all, asking her out is just a nice thing to do. Just ask if she wants to dine at a restaurant or something. As for your trip, ask her this Sunday, and then you can plan on what to do when you're traveling. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 28, 2008 15:57:09 GMT -5
slink, i think you should definitely ask her out for something casual...like pizza after work. then buy her a beer and when she's tipsy...
just kidding. ;D
seriously though. i wouldn't worry about the co-worker thing. it's not like you sit right next to each other for 40 hours a week at work or anything.
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Post by MrNice on Nov 28, 2008 17:00:19 GMT -5
don't worry about the coworker thing
some statistic i read somewhere on the internet says that workplace is like the most common place that people in relationships started at
and don't make it a politeness competition - don't ask her if she maybe possibly ever wants to do something with you some time ever at all - as difficult and uncomfortable as it may be - state what you want to do - direct and UNAPOLOGETIC. you are not committing a crime in asking. And do it as soon as possible - because the longer you wait the more uncomfortable you will be.
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Post by Tal on Nov 29, 2008 17:22:47 GMT -5
Yeah, go for it, but maybe wait until your holiday's over. I just think asking someone out, but saying you can't actually do anything for the next few days seems a bit odd...but perhaps that's just me. Maybe before your holiday make a list of places you could go together so you have something to work with when you get back, if you do choose to wait. Either way good luck...and remember NOT to use any of the dirty jokes or chat up lines you may have heard me use in chat...lol |
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Post by skyhint on Nov 30, 2008 17:34:36 GMT -5
Maybe forget about it for a few weeks and enjoy your vacation. Worry about it when you get back. Have fun and good luck Slinky
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Post by urbanspaceman on Dec 1, 2008 4:22:08 GMT -5
tiny update thingy... Well I didn't get to ask her as planned as she's switched shifts, after another workmate left the previous week. So now I'll most likely be not working with her at all, at least for the forseeable future. I will prob be seeing her on a works christmas party in a few weeks though, and apparently I have to bring her back a pressie from my hols so she told me, so we'll just see what arises from that. For now I just want to go and enjoy my break, it's been too long since I had one  Thankyou for the advice people, it is much appreciated. I'll make sure to update again as things change, whichever way. I'm sure you'll be on the edge of your seats till then... ;D |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Dec 1, 2008 9:08:01 GMT -5
tiny update thingy... Well I didn't get to ask her as planned as she's switched shifts, after another workmate left the previous week. So now I'll most likely be not working with her at all, at least for the forseeable future. I will prob be seeing her on a works christmas party in a few weeks though, and apparently I have to bring her back a pressie from my hols so she told me, so we'll just see what arises from that. For now I just want to go and enjoy my break, it's been too long since I had one Thankyou for the advice people, it is much appreciated. I'll make sure to update again as things change, whichever way. I'm sure you'll be on the edge of your seats till then... ;D no, i think i'll take a holiday from the edge of my seat. i mean, why should you be the only one to get a break? ;D you've just demonstrated nicely why one shouldn't take for granted they'll always have another opportunity.  |
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Post by texaspete on Dec 5, 2008 6:27:57 GMT -5
I will prob be seeing her on a works christmas party in a few weeks though, and apparently I have to bring her back a pressie from my hols so she told me, so we'll just see what arises from that. That sounds like a really good hint, with the present thing too. go for it. |
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Post by cyclopse on Dec 6, 2008 23:46:20 GMT -5
If you only work with her one day a week i would go for it. I been is situations like this in the past and im currently in one right now but she is actually my boss... lol
Anyways from previous experience thier is the good and the bad.. I talk to a girl about 2 years ago we had a friendship out of work. She was in a messy situation at the time with a b/f and long story short after our friendship ended their was alot of akward moments at work. she eventually left that job.. Unfortunately we were never the friends we use to be even to this day.
Present day i for alittle period of time i hung out with a co-worker who now is directly my boss.. Was it the right thing to do yes or no i dont know. It doesnt really effect us. thier times when i question her intentions becuase she does flirt with me.. I will see her looking at me at work then she will look away... She does have a b/f yet she has never mentioned him to me at anytime but she tells other people at work about him.. she has lied to me about where she was at when she was him to me... and this past weeked she asked me i wanted to hang out again but she has a b/f...
The most important thing to me is my job so i dont let any of this ge to me becuase im trying to get promoted etc.
Hopefully if you dont fall into any of these categories and if you can handle go for it. atleast you dont have to work with her 40+ hours a week.
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Post by urbanspaceman on Feb 28, 2009 10:56:10 GMT -5
I just realised I never updated this, if anyone was that bothered anyway, lol.
Well various stuff happened between my last post and the last week or so, but the long and short of it now is that I found out she has a boyfriend, so there the story ends.
Not the way I wanted it to go, but you live and learn.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Feb 28, 2009 11:27:40 GMT -5
I just realised I never updated this, if anyone was that bothered anyway, lol. Well various stuff happened between my last post and the last week or so, but the long and short of it now is that I found out she has a boyfriend, so there the story ends. Not the way I wanted it to go, but you live and learn. slink, i know a little bit more about this than what you've posted in the forum because of our chats, but i just wanted to say...it might be a cold comfort right now, but you did step out of your comfort zone and make significant progress connecting with her. you should be proud of that. the end result wasn't what you hoped for, of course, but you will take that progress forward in your life i'm sure. hang in there.  |
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