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Post by brightestdark on Dec 12, 2008 19:05:48 GMT -5
Hey. I'm new here. I'm pretty shy. I also like a guy who I think is pretty shy - or at least fairly introverted and quiet. Others have said he is too. Anyway, we've met a bunch of times, either when I've been to his city (he lives very far away so I don't see him often) or when he's been in my city.
I saw him recently, for the first time in quite a while. He came up and gave me a hug. According to another board, shy guys don't do hugs, but anyway... I didn't really get to speak to him much as his friend was talking to me most of the time. So I sent him an email saying it was good seeing him, and he has read it and not replied. Do shy guys find it harder to email back? I don't understand why he can come up to me and be friendly to me in person but then not reply to an email. We have written a couple of times in the past a couple of years ago, but not recently. He never really wrote much, just a couple of lines, but still, you would think he'd reply saying 'good to see you too' or something even if he didn't want to write much, than just not replying at all. Do shy guys not know what to say in emails so avoid writing? Do guys in general just hate writing? Or is he just ignorant!? lol.
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Post by 10010101001111 on Dec 12, 2008 22:21:31 GMT -5
hi there missy, welcome to shyunited. he's shy. one possibility: he didn't reply because he thought you were just informing him. a second reason is in factsomething I do. I sometimes don't reply to my freinds' emails because they'll write back and invite me to a party or something like that. I'd be too shy to go, and I'd feel embarrassed for not accepting the invitation. maybe that's his case. i'm sure he knows you want to hang out with him. us guys know that WE are the ones that are supposed to invite the ladies, but he's to shy to do so  yes it's a bit impolite. he probably doesn't want you to remember how little he writes lol |
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Post by nelo on Dec 12, 2008 22:26:19 GMT -5
I don't know about that...I don't get emails from friends often, but when I do, I usually send long detailed (or at least long-winded) ones. Maybe I just get too into it sometimes but I don't have that problem.
As far as hugging goes, I would never do that. Once in high school, someone came up and gave me a random hug right before I was going to get on the bus home...I froze up completely.
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Post by brightestdark on Dec 13, 2008 16:05:40 GMT -5
I'm shy but better at writing. I can write heaps. I think my personality comes out when I write but I can be too shy to talk in some situations... so it is kind of weird that he doesn't write - although I know some guys are just not good at writing. I have a female friend who is actually more outgoing and chatty and she is bad at writing emails. I hate that this guy rarely emails me though, especially when he is nice in person (he's still shy and doesn't talk too much but always smiles and the last 3 times I've seen him he's given me hugs).
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Post by Sweet Pea on Dec 13, 2008 16:28:24 GMT -5
I'm shy but better at writing. I can write heaps. I think my personality comes out when I write but I can be too shy to talk in some situations... so it is kind of weird that he doesn't write - although I know some guys are just not good at writing. I have a female friend who is actually more outgoing and chatty and she is bad at writing emails. I hate that this guy rarely emails me though, especially when he is nice in person (he's still shy and doesn't talk too much but always smiles and the last 3 times I've seen him he's given me hugs). if i had to choose, i'd rather have the smiles and the hugs than the emails...although having someone communicate with you verbally is nice too. |
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Post by rukryM on Dec 13, 2008 16:41:44 GMT -5
Actions speak louder than words.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Dec 13, 2008 17:38:59 GMT -5
Actions do speak louder than words. Actions means consistency too.
Long distance is the play ground for the avoidant, commitment phobic, emotional cripple folks.
Find someone closer to like and who really likes you back. His actions say he isn't all that interested.
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Post by Bodhi on Dec 13, 2008 21:24:28 GMT -5
I'm wondering how long it's been since you sent the email to him? If its just been a few days, sometimes people take awhile to respond to emails for lots of reasons, and he still might get around to it. If its been a few weeks, I'd kind of give up on that then. I'm not sure why he wouldn't respond. Maybe he read it and was going to respond later, and then forgot about it. Maybe he didn't get it for some reason, that can happen with email. Are you sure he still checks that email address?
Anyway, no matter what the reason, I wouldn't think too much about it. I'm sure the reason has nothing to do with you and I wouldn't be offended or anything by it.
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Post by brightestdark on Dec 28, 2008 19:57:28 GMT -5
It's been weeks now and he never replied. Ah well, never mind. There's now a new local guy (yes, surprisingly, for the first time in probably 15 years I've spotted a cute guy who actually lives near me, shock horror!). I now have a new question, or two...
Basically, new guy has told me (saw his pic on a site online and wrote to him) that he is quiet. Does quiet equal shy? Or not necessarily? I know I'm shy AND quiet - although louder with close friends that I know well. He has also said he's outgoing with the right people. He's interested in meeting up (and added me to his favorites) although we haven't made complete arrangements yet. I'm gonna be in his city - which is only half an hour from me - mid-late Jan and suggested we met up and said hi then. He replied saying it sounds cool. But some of his emails aren't very long. He replies, which is good... but they aren't really that chatty.
Do shy guys generally find it hard to actually converse and ask questions about the other person in emails or when writing? I find that he is answering my questions, a couple of times he's asked me things in reply, but not always. It is quite hard work with him. It's typical. I usually get guys writing to me who I'm not interested in, so I don't want to talk to them, but now there's this guy that looks stunning and I really want to talk to him, but he's more hard work.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Dec 29, 2008 3:41:44 GMT -5
It's been weeks now and he never replied. Ah well, never mind. There's now a new local guy (yes, surprisingly, for the first time in probably 15 years I've spotted a cute guy who actually lives near me, shock horror!). I now have a new question, or two... Basically, new guy has told me (saw his pic on a site online and wrote to him) that he is quiet. Does quiet equal shy? Or not necessarily? I know I'm shy AND quiet - although louder with close friends that I know well. He has also said he's outgoing with the right people. He's interested in meeting up (and added me to his favorites) although we haven't made complete arrangements yet. I'm gonna be in his city - which is only half an hour from me - mid-late Jan and suggested we met up and said hi then. He replied saying it sounds cool. But some of his emails aren't very long. He replies, which is good... but they aren't really that chatty. Do shy guys generally find it hard to actually converse and ask questions about the other person in emails or when writing? I find that he is answering my questions, a couple of times he's asked me things in reply, but not always. It is quite hard work with him. It's typical. I usually get guys writing to me who I'm not interested in, so I don't want to talk to them, but now there's this guy that looks stunning and I really want to talk to him, but he's more hard work. maybe he's just not a very chatty type of person. or maybe he needs to spend some time getting comfortable with you in person before he opens up. he could be shy, or just the quiet type. you'll have to be around him for awhile to know exactly. does it matter to you either way? make concrete plans to meet him. then you'll have your answers. |
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Post by brightestdark on Dec 29, 2008 17:56:44 GMT -5
Well the more I can chat via email/messages before meeting the more relaxed I will be when we do meet, as I'll feel like we already know each other pretty well - rather than meeting someone I barely know anything about. I also want him to feel relaxed with me. Isn't it more likely to be awkward if you meet when you barely know anything about each other?
I'd like to meet him sooner than the dates I told him I'd be in the city, but I don't want to look too eager to meet incase he thinks I'm crazy... so I guess I'll just have to be patient and wait till then.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Dec 29, 2008 20:16:14 GMT -5
Well the more I can chat via email/messages before meeting the more relaxed I will be when we do meet, as I'll feel like we already know each other pretty well - rather than meeting someone I barely know anything about. I also want him to feel relaxed with me. Isn't it more likely to be awkward if you meet when you barely know anything about each other? I'd like to meet him sooner than the dates I told him I'd be in the city, but I don't want to look too eager to meet incase he thinks I'm crazy... so I guess I'll just have to be patient and wait till then. well, prolly the more you reveal of yourself, the more comfortable he'll be revealing more of himself. |
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Post by brightestdark on Dec 30, 2008 22:29:25 GMT -5
Well finally he came on MSN tonight and we talked for nearly two hours.  |
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