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Post by Bodhi on Dec 21, 2008 14:24:19 GMT -5
The hardest part about dating for me has been when to initiate physical contact, specifically when to try for the first kiss. I never seem to be able to tell when the time is right, or put myself in a good situation to do it. It has caused alot of problems before, and ruined a potential relationship with a great girl in the past.
I am very worried about it in terms of dating in the future. I'm supposed to go on a date with a girl soon whom I've met before and like. I think it could work out, but I think I could also mess it up terribly by not knowing when to kiss her and maybe not doing it at all(even after multiple dates) and having her give up on me.
So I guess I'm looking for peoples thoughts and advice on this subject. What are good places to have a first kiss, or strategies I should use to make things more comfortable and easy for it to happen naturally. I've found I can't do it if it seems forced, like in the car dropping her off, or walking her to her house, or just sitting in public somewhere. Where do people normally have their first kiss? I'm so confused on this subject, it really perplexes me.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Dec 21, 2008 20:54:30 GMT -5
The hardest part about dating for me has been when to initiate physical contact, specifically when to try for the first kiss. I never seem to be able to tell when the time is right, or put myself in a good situation to do it. It has caused alot of problems before, and ruined a potential relationship with a great girl in the past. I am very worried about it in terms of dating in the future. I'm supposed to go on a date with a girl soon whom I've met before and like. I think it could work out, but I think I could also mess it up terribly by not knowing when to kiss her and maybe not doing it at all(even after multiple dates) and having her give up on me. So I guess I'm looking for peoples thoughts and advice on this subject. What are good places to have a first kiss, or strategies I should use to make things more comfortable and easy for it to happen naturally. I've found I can't do it if it seems forced, like in the car dropping her off, or walking her to her house, or just sitting in public somewhere. Where do people normally have their first kiss? I'm so confused on this subject, it really perplexes me. i don't think where matters so much, although a relatively private place is good. sitting and talking in the car. i'd try holding hands first, and if she allows that to continue, swoop in for the kill! ;D |
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Post by MrNice on Dec 22, 2008 1:07:29 GMT -5
sometimes a moment comes by where you just take the chance and shoot for it
if there is never such a moment, chances are that its not working out well anyway and the kiss itself is not what killed the potential relationship, there is just no chemistry
but you know it - you want to do it - right now - but you are afraid - but go for it anyway
if she turns the cheek you have been rejected
anywhere
don't be confused - if you are really not feeling it - trust your feelings
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Post by Bodhi on Jan 19, 2009 17:12:43 GMT -5
Well, to update my original post about that girl I was going to see, it did end up happening.
On the first date we didn't kiss, although things went really well. We went to a movie, went out to dinner afterwards, and then she invited me back to her place. While there it felt like maybe I could make a move, but it was only the first date and i was still anxious, so I didn't. We hugged as I left for the night.
We went on a second date over the weekend and things again went really well. We ended back at her place again and I really felt like we both wanted to kiss. The problem was just getting close enough for it to be natural. At one point we were sitting on her couch and she kind of sat back and moved closer to me, and I did the same thing. When we were so close our heads were almost touching I just went in for a kiss and she was receptive. So it felt very natural and not forced.
From this situation, I think the key for me in terms of the first kiss is being somewhere alone together where it is very relaxed and you can get close. Being in a car or outside her door doesn't work for me, and seems more forced. That might just be me and my anxiousness though.
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Post by Speedracer on Jan 19, 2009 17:18:45 GMT -5
wait till second date at least. you can never tell what these women creatures are thinking...so just move in and do it.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 19, 2009 18:09:04 GMT -5
Well, to update my original post about that girl I was going to see, it did end up happening. On the first date we didn't kiss, although things went really well. We went to a movie, went out to dinner afterwards, and then she invited me back to her place. While there it felt like maybe I could make a move, but it was only the first date and i was still anxious, so I didn't. We hugged as I left for the night. We went on a second date over the weekend and things again went really well. We ended back at her place again and I really felt like we both wanted to kiss. The problem was just getting close enough for it to be natural. At one point we were sitting on her couch and she kind of sat back and moved closer to me, and I did the same thing. When we were so close our heads were almost touching I just went in for a kiss and she was receptive. So it felt very natural and not forced. From this situation, I think the key for me in terms of the first kiss is being somewhere alone together where it is very relaxed and you can get close. Being in a car or outside her door doesn't work for me, and seems more forced. That might just be me and my anxiousness though. wow, that's great, bodhi! this has been a long time coming. i'm really happy for you.  i want to point out that she cooperated with you as far as getting close enough and giving encouraging indications. that's exactly how it's supposed to be. both people have to cooperate to get close enough and to allow/encourage it to happen. good for you for not giving up even though i know you have been very discouraged at times. right on.  |
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Post by crimeclub on Jan 19, 2009 19:06:04 GMT -5
congratulations man, that first kiss is so hard, alot of times for me it doesn't even happen because I wait for the "perfect" time and then I end up not having the balls to make it happen, even if the opportunity does present it self.
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Post by rukryM on Jan 20, 2009 11:15:15 GMT -5
Nothing's perfect the first time you try it and kisses are no exceptions. Your kissing technique will improve the more you do it, that's actually all there is to say about this matter^^.
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Post by brightestdark on Jan 20, 2009 14:02:28 GMT -5
I don't think the first kiss should be rushed. I think you should try not to stress about it (says she who posted worrying whether the guy would expect a kiss at the end). Personally, I think if a guy was worried about it and nervous I would rather he actually told me - like maybe said in a text or something 'I'd really like to kiss you, but...your beauty intimidates me!' or something. Something like that would be flattering while giving the indication that he is nervous yet does like the girl enough that he does want to kiss her (so she doesn't think he's not interested). I'm personally worried about the guy I am meeting incase he kisses me, because I don't think I'm that attracted to him, but I do really like him. I think I just want to get to know him as a person for a while - and would rather he doesn't actually try to kiss me. Plus I haven't kissed anyone in forever and can't remember how to!
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Post by Max Power on Jan 25, 2009 0:43:10 GMT -5
I''m 36 and never had a first kiss. I am screwed.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 25, 2009 3:01:57 GMT -5
I''m 36 and never had a first kiss. I am screwed. well, maybe if you'd quit talkin about testicles all the time... |
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Post by guywhocodes on Mar 22, 2009 1:41:49 GMT -5
I''m 36 and never had a first kiss. I am screwed. I'm in the same boat as well, but I'm only 22. Hopefully It will happen for me one day as well. Good job Bodhi, I'm glad it finally happened for you. It gives hope to the rest of us!!! |
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Post by rukryM on Mar 22, 2009 7:03:04 GMT -5
well, maybe if you'd quit talkin about testicles all the time... Maybe he's just referring to avocados, as that word means testicle in the Maya language, hence it's shape. |
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