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Post by Bodhi on Jan 28, 2009 22:40:05 GMT -5
I think I'm starting to be in a relationship with this girl I've been dating. We've gone on 4 dates, and became quite physical on the last date. Yet, I feel we are still distant in between dates. After the last date I was happy about things and felt closer to her, but since then we've only talked over the IM or emailed. I did call her today and she was sick, but still seemed kind of like she wasn't too thrilled to talk to me, I don't know, maybe I am reading way too much into it. I'm hoping it was just she was sick and not feeling well. We did make plans to see each other saturday.
I think its just being in a relationship is new to me and i'm not sure how to go about things. Like how often to call her between dates, or how often I should ask to see her, etc... Its all stressful and confusing to me. When we are together in person it seems fine, its just hard for me to keep that comfort level in between dates, I think because of my social anxiety and nervousness on what to do. She also seems a bit on the shy side, so maybe its her nervousness that's making her act a little distant sometimes too.
Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?
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Post by skyhint on Jan 29, 2009 1:28:21 GMT -5
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Post by rukryM on Jan 29, 2009 10:27:15 GMT -5
The fact that she might seem a little bit distant can be because of simple things like her mood or anything. If she was ill then it's not surprising at all that she wasn't too happy about anything. She's a human being like you and she has her ups and downs in every particular day. Just calm down a bit and think it over: the reason she's still staying in touch with you and not pushing you away is because she likes you^^.
Just be nice to her and everything will turn out just fine.
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Jan 31, 2009 2:56:29 GMT -5
hmm...that is interesting. I mean, I've never really given this much thought before.
Sorry, I do wish I could offer advice, but I have basically no idea as I've never dated.
But I suppose you just have to do what you feel is right, though...go with the flow. If you think you should be doing something (such as giving her a random call to see how things are going) and want to, then go ahead and do it.
I bet it's probably a bit awkward for everyone in the beginning of a relationship.
Oh, and if she was sick when you called...don't take it personally if she didn't seemed "thrilled" or anything. At least I know I just want to hide from the world when I'm sick. I don't really care for people to hear my voice when I'm sick, either. Maybe she doesn't.
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Post by brightestdark on Feb 2, 2009 13:08:04 GMT -5
She might just be like me. The guy I met said he thought I was shy (lol, really...). Maybe over time she'll warm up and not be so distant. I asked a male friend how often he'd meet someone early on when dating and he said once a week or maybe twice a week. I would keep it to once a week until you're closer. Maybe make her do the asking to meet once in a while so it's not all one sided.
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Post by Richard Cunningham on Feb 3, 2009 10:11:03 GMT -5
I think I'm starting to be in a relationship with this girl I've been dating. We've gone on 4 dates, and became quite physical on the last date. Yet, I feel we are still distant in between dates. After the last date I was happy about things and felt closer to her, but since then we've only talked over the IM or emailed. I did call her today and she was sick, but still seemed kind of like she wasn't too thrilled to talk to me, I don't know, maybe I am reading way too much into it. I'm hoping it was just she was sick and not feeling well. We did make plans to see each other saturday. I think its just being in a relationship is new to me and i'm not sure how to go about things. Like how often to call her between dates, or how often I should ask to see her, etc... Its all stressful and confusing to me. When we are together in person it seems fine, its just hard for me to keep that comfort level in between dates, I think because of my social anxiety and nervousness on what to do. She also seems a bit on the shy side, so maybe its her nervousness that's making her act a little distant sometimes too. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? When I feel sick I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to lay back, relax and recover by myself. |
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Post by Bodhi on Feb 3, 2009 12:31:51 GMT -5
Well, things seem to be going much better. I think its just its the early stages of the relationship and we still need some time to become totally comfortable with each other. I saw her over the weekend and again yesterday, so we've been seeing alot of each other. We still tend to stay in contact between seeing each other by texting or email, not much actually talking on the phone. I think she doesn't like talking on the phone that much.
I think my worries before were just based on her being shy and not opening up as much, although she is starting to now. She has told me she really likes me and said I make her happy when I'm around. It makes it easier knowing she does like me and I don't have to worry as much. Yet, sometimes I still feel I will mess things up by my lack of relationship experience, but that's just my negativity built up from having terrible luck with girls my entire life.
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Post by rukryM on Feb 3, 2009 16:59:04 GMT -5
People always are reluctant somehow in the beginning of an actual relationship, she'll probably open herself and be more talkative in your presence the more she trusts in you, and one way of increasing that is by being together more outside the screens. You should not let the past ruin you, focus on what's now and what will become of you two. If you think that "I can do this" then you're a lot more likely to succeed than if you think the opposite^^.
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etn
Full Member
Posts: 107
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Post by etn on Feb 24, 2009 23:12:00 GMT -5
Maybe if people didn't make up so many silly rules about dating and relationships, more people would be having healthy ones. But then, I guess I live in a fantasy world. |
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