tell them (or ask them) everything?

[Sweet Pea]

when you have a bf or gf, do you want to know every detail of their whole life? are you curious about every little thing they've experienced or done? or do you prefer to live completely in the present, and forget the past entirely?

and what about the other way around. do you want to tell them everything about you, or pretend your life started when you met? are you secretive or do you dislike reliving the past by talking about it? what if they insist on knowing everything about you? how will you feel about that?

[Bodhi]

I've recently been in a relationship and have been kind of secretive about my past. She hasn't really asked, but I feel self-conscious telling her about how shy I used to be, and how I didn't have that many friends, and especially didn't have that many girlfriends. I've overcome a lot to be where I'm at, and feel like she might think lesser of me if she knew how shy and awkward I used to be. I feel like she sees me as a more confident kind of guy, and if I told her how I used to be she wouldn't see me in as good a light. I'm not sure if I'm correct on that, but its how I feel. I'm dreading her asking about past relationships and stuff, since my experience is so limited. I want to be open with her though, so maybe its just I need to grow closer and feel more comfortable.

Yet, she has opened up a lot to me. She has told me about her past relationships and lots of things about her past. I'm glad she can be open with me, but feel a bit weird I'm not reciprocating, although she hasn't really asked too much. I guess she is content knowing me how I am now and not prying into the past. Although I think it will come up eventually.

[Stranger]

I wanna know every last dirty secret! They can know the good bits about me... ;D

[nelo]

I like missmidnight's approach.

[rukryM]

One shouldn't know every detail of the SO which will kill the mysterious and somewhat exciting atmosphere between the two, making the relationship predictable and boring over a longer period^^.

[skyhint]

yeah I tell all if he asks. and if I ask I expect him to tell.

[Rose]

I'm fine telling my bf most things about myself. He is after all my best friend too. ;D
We'll share alot in our own way when we talk, though I won't dig for each and every secret, as I wouldn't want to be dug for every secret either, but then who does? hehe. And that takes all the mystery away too. Saves stuff to talk about later on when we're ready to talk about it.

[strawberrysweetie]

Well, I marked 'other' since I make everything more complicated than it should be...

I don't currently have, nor have I ever had a boyfriend...I'm just speculating...


I would say that I would like to know most everything but definitely not everything everything.

And by that....I mainly mean that I don't think I'd want to know every detail of past relationships. Very general things about relationships would be okay...such as how many people he's dated, duration of relationships, why they didn't work out....but I would think that very detailed stories about them would bother me, and by that I mostly mean specific details about past intimate experiences.

But just generally speaking, about every other aspect of life or past experiences....I think it's a good thing to be able to share things with one another. Past experiences affect how you turn out to be, so I think they can tell you a lot about someone. For better or for worse.

I can't imagine not being able to discuss the past with someone at all and living only in the present/future. That seems pretty extreme to me, to be honest, and I would really question the character of that person if they continued being that secretive over time.

And honestly, I even like to know little odd facts of friends' pasts....hearing old stories just makes me feel like I know that person even better, which can help me feel more connected.

All that said....kind of funny though, that it takes me so long to open up to people...hmm