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Post by Mildman1 on May 26, 2003 8:09:39 GMT -5
I have for a mumber of years been thinking about moving to my own place. There was a time in my early 20's when I was about to leave my parents house, but I lost my job and didn't have the money to do it.
I haven't been to college so there was nothing which compelled me to move away, but I feel it is something I will have to do in the near future as it is a bit 'sad' living with parents now that I'm in my 30's, and also there are continuing tensions between my father and I.
I also think it necessary for my own development.
Just wanted to know how moving out on your own has changed you (if at all), and how it has affected the way you feel about yourself - do you think you have become less shy? Have you been lonely?
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Post by Twice-Shy on May 27, 2003 7:39:52 GMT -5
I moved out of my parents home at the age of 23. Moving out made me more mature and confident. I moved in with my wife to be and her 2 step kids and I had the best 6 years of my life.
It was only when I started to feel the effects of HD kicking in that I came home agin 2 years ago after having a breakdown and taking an overdose.
At that time, whether I should come back to my parents home or look for a flat was a major decision I had to make. I decided to come home again. Both my father and my older brother have HD as well so I thought that my mother would need help. The fact that I had to stop my older brother from attacking her last week has shown me that I made the right decison.
Back at home, it takes a lot of stubborness not to fall back into my old ways. If I find myself doing something or saying something that I would have said years ago before I left I stop myself.
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Post by sweetness on May 27, 2003 15:59:23 GMT -5
Hello Mildman,
The last few months with ups and downs i have had thoughts of moving out too. Ups when i wanted to live by myself again, be independant, i m very attached to my mom. I dont have a good relationship with my dad though, which causes me much stress.
Downs when i wanted to save more (i ve only been working for 1 1/2 year), and because of fear of being alone.
I ve lived alone when i was at college. But that was a bit different i think. Back then i was extremely busy with college that i didnt even have much time for anything else except study study. (at least that s how I felt)There were times then that i felt lonely too though. And i used to call my mom very often i remember.
I imagine that it would be different now coz the stress of college exams etc is gone, and you have time to do social stuff too in your free time. I imagine it would be good for social life, coz you can invite people over at your home without bothering your parents. I imagine if you live alone, you go out more perhaps to meet people or join a club or gym, i think -at least in my case- i would be more out. I want to live in a big city.
I think being independant can be good for your self improvement. ALthough it can be hard to live alone, and for you , you ll need time to adjust, coz you ve never lived alone. Are you going through a tough time, it might not be the exact right time to move out. But eventually you ll feel i think when it s time for you to move. And if you feel that maybe part of living at home is making you unhappy it might be time for you to start making plans. Good luck and keep s updated :)
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Post by spitzig on May 28, 2003 3:10:27 GMT -5
When I graduated college, I moved in with my parents for a while. I got in really good shape, because the gym was not home.
When I've been living on my own(most of the past 10 years) since graduating high school, living with someone has not made me more or less outgoing. When I've not had a roommate, I was just lonely more. Even though I've not hung out with most of my roommates much. Other than the ones in college. Since I lived in a fraternity house most of college, that was quite a few roommates, most of whom I hung out with a lot.
In the dorms, there was a group of about 6-10 people who I hung out with quite a bit. All freshmen. Most of us drifted when we joined fraternities--a lot of us did the first semester, or became "friends" of a fraternity.
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Post by g3netix on May 28, 2003 9:47:41 GMT -5
im 18 and i wanna move out asap, my mum annoys me hehe so if there is any1 out there with a spare room or basement i can have (for a cheap price) give me the nod thx
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Post by inkysoftwhispers on May 28, 2003 10:02:15 GMT -5
I'm been sharing a flat for almost a year now. I love the independence of living away from home but I don't think it has made me any less shy. I think it's gotten worse recently actually.
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Post by inkysoftwhispers on May 28, 2003 10:07:59 GMT -5
Umm..we've got a broom cupboard. Very roomy. And cheap of course.
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Post by Twice-Shy on May 28, 2003 11:11:29 GMT -5
Coming back home definitely takes away from your independence. But then again, I'm Irish and the cliche about us being family orientated race is true. I always have my family around me wheras if I had taken the option of getting a flat I would have lost that.
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Post by g3netix on May 28, 2003 16:35:32 GMT -5
wow a whole broom cupboard! ill take it!! do i get to keep the broom?? or do i gotta pay for rental on that??
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Post by NewOrleansLady on May 30, 2003 16:54:42 GMT -5
I had a friend who had to move out of her parents house when she turned 21 so I agreed to move in with her. Once you leave your parents house, you will never want to go back. It's helped me to be less shy since I had to take care of my own "buisness" and not just rely on my parents to do everything for me.
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Post by moogle on May 30, 2003 18:50:43 GMT -5
the first time i moved out, i lived a few hours away for a year, and i got very depressed and didn't often leave the apartment. then i moved into a house right next door to my parents house and was living with my brother. then i moved to the other side of the country, and now i'm back in my parents house. what i've found is that when i'm here, or at least close, i have more confidence and don't get depressed as easily. sure it's hard living with someone with untreated bilpolar, and a brother that i hate (not the same one i lived with before) but maybe they're my safety net.
anyway, i plan to move out within the next year, but this time i won't go very far, and hopefully that will make things easier for me.
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Post by Mildman1 on Jun 4, 2003 14:50:44 GMT -5
Hello Mildman, The last few months with ups and downs i have had thoughts of moving out too. Ups when i wanted to live by myself again, be independant, i m very attached to my mom. I dont have a good relationship with my dad though, which causes me much stress. Downs when i wanted to save more (i ve only been working for 1 1/2 year), and because of fear of being alone. I ve lived alone when i was at college. But that was a bit different i think. Back then i was extremely busy with college that i didnt even have much time for anything else except study study. (at least that s how I felt)There were times then that i felt lonely too though. And i used to call my mom very often i remember. I imagine that it would be different now coz the stress of college exams etc is gone, and you have time to do social stuff too in your free time. I imagine it would be good for social life, coz you can invite people over at your home without bothering your parents. I imagine if you live alone, you go out more perhaps to meet people or join a club or gym, i think -at least in my case- i would be more out. I want to live in a big city. I think being independant can be good for your self improvement. ALthough it can be hard to live alone, and for you , you ll need time to adjust, coz you ve never lived alone. Are you going through a tough time, it might not be the exact right time to move out. But eventually you ll feel i think when it s time for you to move. And if you feel that maybe part of living at home is making you unhappy it might be time for you to start making plans. Good luck and keep s updated  I don't think I've ever been close to my father, even as a child. I wouldn't say he's shy but he's not one for opening up to anybody, and once you don't develop that bond with a parent through childhood, you're unlikely to be close later on. It's not that life is particularly difficult living in my parents house, but my father and I have totally different attitudes to practically everything. It might be truer to say we're more like acquaintances than father and son, there is a distance between us. Apart from this he's often bad-tempered, and I'm sure I annoy him as much as he annoys me. The thing is, it is his house, and I don't want to feel obliged to him anymore. My relationship with my mother is very good, and as I've grown up so I feel I can now talk to her about practically anything. I was too embarassed before, but I've gotten over this, and she is not at all shy. Never had any problems bringing people around, and my mum was always telling me to get out more! I suppose the real worry about moving away is loneliness. In the past I've often been lazy about going out and making an effort with friends, and most have drifted away. I don't know whether I would go out more or less if I lived on my own. When I wasn't working I was happy to just drift along doing nothing. Now that I am, I realize that I missed out by doing this, and even though I can't say I particularly enjoy my job, it has kept me in touch with other people. Without a job my contact with others was limited, and I tend to withdraw without this regular contact. |
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