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Post by Farouche on Apr 12, 2009 18:44:05 GMT -5
MrNice -----------------
i disagree with the whole idea of passing this kind of judgment upon people
she rejected me, I am hurt - oh but she must be a slut anyway so that makes it ok and I am supposed to feel better now? ^This. Rukry ---------------
That was what I was talking about, and they exist, though they aren't many, but they are out there. And those promiscuous creatures thinking only of sex are nothing but sluts. Nothing wrong with calling them that. Yes, there IS something wrong with it. If you were trying to say that people looking for long term relationships shouldn't be worried if they get rejected by someone looking for a fling, then I agree. But you don't need to bring the term "sluts" into it, and your repeated defense of the term, even after being told it's offensive, suggests your interest in using it is more than academic.  As far as accuracy and the fact that some people use the word proudly to describe themselves, do you also think it's ok to call someone a "fucking f*ggot" because it's technically an "accurate" term for "a gay man who engages in sexual intercourse?" Even if you don't care how the term makes many women feel, having the mindset that some women are good and some are worthless sluts is not going to improve your ability to interact with and understand the opposite sex. It's better for everyone to be able to accept that some people just won't like you for whatever arbitrary reeason, than to just dismiss everyone who doesn't like you as a "slut" or a "dick." That kind of bitterness is unbecoming. To the OP: yeah, as long as you don't warn her that you're terrified of sex or something before you get going, it really shouldn't be an issue, as long as you have a basic awareness of what you're supposed to do. Just because it's your first time doesn't automatically mean you'll be terrible in bed. If you're getting emotionally intimate before you go for it, then she probably likes you enough not to care how many girls you have or haven't been with before, anyway, and if you're having casual sex and/or are still getting to know each other, it's not really her business if you're a virgin or not, just as long as you're disease-free. People in high school may make your sexual history their business just for their own amusement, but once you get away from that kind of "tee hee, sex!" environment, it shouldn't seem like such a big deal. |
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Post by Naptaq on Apr 12, 2009 21:41:57 GMT -5
are we talking about a situation where a girl really likes a guy but due to his inexperience rejects him? probably not - she probably doesn't like him anyway, the inexperience is likely just a front runner excuse That was what I was talking about, and they exist, though they aren't many, but they are out there. And those promiscuous creatures thinking only of sex are nothing but sluts. Yeah, but so what? I don't think you're going to have a problem with sluts. They're probably not into you and you stated that you dislike them. Problem solved. This is an interesting video on the subject: ¤I don't think the word slut is going to die anytime soon particulary because, like the woman in the above video said, women perpetuate this word among themselfs far more than men do. Here's an example I saw many months ago: ¤ |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Apr 12, 2009 23:20:54 GMT -5
first of all, to the OP, apologies for the fact that we've totally highjacked your thread in true SU style. next, i think i can understand what all the fuss is about, after all the word slut has been used to denigrate women for quite some time. however, i think in these days, it's pretty widely recognized that slutty behavior can characterize either men or women...especially in the age of internet porn when guys are running around with porn on their ipods and blackberries...or iporn for the creep on the go (credits to knox for that one. ;D) as far as posting on the forum goes, i feel that we each as individuals have the right to set our own standards and define for ourselves what we find morally acceptable or repugnant. as long as no one is directly calling a forum member a slut, or defaming a whole sex as sluts, i don't see a problem. my biggest issue with the word has been when people apply it to anyone who has had sex with someone else. as far as i'm concerned, anyone who expects an adult to come to them as a virgin is unrealistic. sexual experience is not a negative. but neither is being a virgin. personally, i would apply the word slut to anyone of any sex who has sex indiscriminately. and personally, i would not find that to be a desirable trait for alot of reasons. but it's a free world, so whatever. i have no intention of trying to judge or control the behavior of every person on the planet. |
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Post by Farouche on Apr 13, 2009 4:51:21 GMT -5
Sweet Pea -------------
next, i think i can understand what all the fuss is about, after all the word slut has been used to denigrate women for quite some time. however, i think in these days, it's pretty widely recognized that slutty behavior can characterize either men or women...especially in the age of internet porn when guys are running around with porn on their ipods and blackberries...or iporn for the creep on the go (credits to knox for that one. ;D)
as far as posting on the forum goes, i feel that we each as individuals have the right to set our own standards and define for ourselves what we find morally acceptable or repugnant. as long as no one is directly calling a forum member a slut, or defaming a whole sex as sluts, i don't see a problem. my biggest issue with the word has been when people apply it to anyone who has had sex with someone else. as far as i'm concerned, anyone who expects an adult to come to them as a virgin is unrealistic. sexual experience is not a negative. but neither is being a virgin. personally, i would apply the word slut to anyone of any sex who has sex indiscriminately. and personally, i would not find that to be a desirable trait for alot of reasons. but it's a free world, so whatever. i have no intention of trying to judge or control the behavior of every person on the planet.
So, you do acknowledge that "slut" is offensive, but you think certain people deserve it? I don't see the difference, really, between drawing the "slut" line at sex outside of marriage or at "indiscriminate" sex. All uses support the idea that "slut" is the term people get to use for (pretty much exclusively) women whose sex lives one disagrees with. Because really, when's the last time you heard a guy called a slut with any real malice? Probably not ever. But when's the last time you saw a lonely shy guy start railing freely about how messed up women are because he personally couldn't get a girlfriend? That's something that concerns me particularly when we start up with the "slut" talk. If it were truly used and understood as an equal-opportunity term for "playas" of either sex, it'd be different. But "slut" is considered offensive in the real world, and it's not any form of dastardly censorship to point that out and suggest not using an offensive term. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Apr 13, 2009 14:41:45 GMT -5
Sweet Pea -------------
next, i think i can understand what all the fuss is about, after all the word slut has been used to denigrate women for quite some time. however, i think in these days, it's pretty widely recognized that slutty behavior can characterize either men or women...especially in the age of internet porn when guys are running around with porn on their ipods and blackberries...or iporn for the creep on the go (credits to knox for that one. ;D)
as far as posting on the forum goes, i feel that we each as individuals have the right to set our own standards and define for ourselves what we find morally acceptable or repugnant. as long as no one is directly calling a forum member a slut, or defaming a whole sex as sluts, i don't see a problem. my biggest issue with the word has been when people apply it to anyone who has had sex with someone else. as far as i'm concerned, anyone who expects an adult to come to them as a virgin is unrealistic. sexual experience is not a negative. but neither is being a virgin. personally, i would apply the word slut to anyone of any sex who has sex indiscriminately. and personally, i would not find that to be a desirable trait for alot of reasons. but it's a free world, so whatever. i have no intention of trying to judge or control the behavior of every person on the planet.
So, you do acknowledge that "slut" is offensive, but you think certain people deserve it? I don't see the difference, really, between drawing the "slut" line at sex outside of marriage or at "indiscriminate" sex. All uses support the idea that "slut" is the term people get to use for (pretty much exclusively) women whose sex lives one disagrees with. Because really, when's the last time you heard a guy called a slut with any real malice? Probably not ever. But when's the last time you saw a lonely shy guy start railing freely about how messed up women are because he personally couldn't get a girlfriend? That's something that concerns me particularly when we start up with the "slut" talk. If it were truly used and understood as an equal-opportunity term for "playas" of either sex, it'd be different. But "slut" is considered offensive in the real world, and it's not any form of dastardly censorship to point that out and suggest not using an offensive term. i acknowledge that 'slut' is a loaded term that has a lot of impact. i think that's obvious from this thread. it's definitely not a term that's used in polite company. however, i do hear it applied to men quite often these days, so i don't think it's a word that applies automatically or solely to women any more. if posters want alternatives that will get the point across without offending people listening randomly, i might suggest something like libertine. generally speaking, i don't think denigrating people is a good idea. your point about the bitterness of lonely people provoking thoughts that might be better left unsaid is certainly worth consideration. also, ego-protection is a common failing amongst humans. i think we're all guilty of it at one time or another. but the use of the word slut under discussion here does not, in my opinion, violate the TOS. feel free to appeal the decision to another mod if you wish. |
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Post by MrNice on Apr 13, 2009 14:59:59 GMT -5
what when where?
i have a hard time believing this
i read news, blogs, watch tv and talk to people - I have never heard this
a guy that sleeps around, even though he might get some hostile comments - most of the time he is just as or more attractive for it
this is not true for a woman
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Post by Sweet Pea on Apr 13, 2009 15:15:58 GMT -5
what when where? i have a hard time believing this i read news, blogs, watch tv and talk to people - I have never heard this a guy that sleeps around, even though he might get some hostile comments - most of the time he is just as or more attractive for it this is not true for a woman yes, in common society that has been true. but there is a growing segment of society that doesn't look at things that way. suffice it to say, we probably don't travel in the same circles if we're hearing different things. either that or it could be a regional difference. or both. what i see in the media is that the word 'slut' is often prefaced by the word 'male' to be clear that they are not referring to females since it was often traditionally applied to women only. |
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Post by nigella on Apr 13, 2009 15:18:17 GMT -5
Well ive heard the term man whores quite common even seen on other forums discussing similar issues.
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Post by rukryM on Apr 13, 2009 15:57:52 GMT -5
Yeah, but so what? I don't think you're going to have a problem with sluts. They're probably not into you and you stated that you dislike them. Problem solved. Oh no, I don't see these as subjects to my hatred if that was what you meant. Actually, I don't care at all for them and I certainly don't wander around all day being frustrated with them. I don't have a problem with them, but I still don't see what's wrong with calling righteous sluts their appropriate names. |
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Post by rukryM on Apr 13, 2009 16:16:49 GMT -5
Yes, there IS something wrong with it. If you were trying to say that people looking for long term relationships shouldn't be worried if they get rejected by someone looking for a fling, then I agree. But you don't need to bring the term "sluts" into it, and your repeated defense of the term, even after being told it's offensive, suggests your interest in using it is more than academic. Someone "looking for a fling" isn't the same as "someone looking to get laid". There is a fine difference, and whatever degrading the term may be, it does exist as a word with a certain definition. So that's why I chose to use that word. I won't deny that it's a bit off the academic use, but nevertheless it's a correct term. As far as accuracy and the fact that some people use the word proudly to describe themselves, do you also think it's ok to call someone a "fucking f*ggot" because it's technically an "accurate" term for "a gay man who engages in sexual intercourse?" "Fucking faggot" is more offensive since it includes profanity, unless there was a homosexual male that I disliked a lot I wouldn't have said so. Perhaps just to provoke people a bit for my own amusement . However bad gays may feel when called faggots I don't care for if I don't respect them for whatever reason. I don't have any respect AT ALL for sluts, that's why I call them by that word. I have respect for gays just like other people, but let's say that a gay for whatever reason had killed a friend of mine, then I'd truly dislike or almost hate him, and I wouldn't have minded at all calling him a "fucking faggot". Even if you don't care how the term makes many women feel, having the mindset that some women are good and some are worthless sluts is not going to improve your ability to interact with and understand the opposite sex. It's better for everyone to be able to accept that some people just won't like you for whatever arbitrary reeason, than to just dismiss everyone who doesn't like you as a "slut" or a "dick." That kind of bitterness is unbecoming. I won't deny that I'm non-diplomatic by calling certain females sluts, but again, it's a term with a precise definition, and should therefore be used when appropriate. Frankly, I don't care for sluts at all, I don't go along and call girls sluts when they're not interested in me. But when I hear of girls shagging multiple guys for whatever reason {to gain interest at certain blokes, maybe?}, who act promiscuous and who tease others {both males and females} for not having had sex yet, then they are truly worthy of the term slut. |
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Post by Farouche on Apr 14, 2009 6:20:24 GMT -5
Sweet Pea --------------
but the use of the word slut under discussion here does not, in my opinion, violate the TOS. feel free to appeal the decision to another mod if you wish. To again clarify: I expect individuals to be able to choose for themselves not to use offensive language. Not once have I suggested that anyone be prevented from using the word "slut." **Mod note: Please see the debate thread for the rest of this post. ** |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Apr 14, 2009 8:28:45 GMT -5
To the OP: Apologies again for the total derailment of your thread. The slut debate has been moved to the debate forum. Please feel free to address your original topic here.
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Post by Farouche on Apr 14, 2009 13:57:26 GMT -5
Moderators: Shouldn't you move all the off topic posts, and not just the one?
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Post by rukryM on Apr 14, 2009 14:09:48 GMT -5
My apologies also if needed for having caused another debate from this. But just to clarify things here; OP, did you mean that some girls reject blokes because they lack sexual experience since they are promiscuous girls OR did you mean that they reject the guys on those conditions because they just are looking for a fling?
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Post by Sweet Pea on Apr 14, 2009 17:22:15 GMT -5
Moderators: Shouldn't you move all the off topic posts, and not just the one? i don't have time for that, so this will have to do. you have a choice on this board, delete a post or move a thread. i'm not going to copy umpty-ump posts one at a time over to debates. i'm trying to give the thread back to the OP to discuss his chosen topic, so i didn't want to move the whole thread. |
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As far as accuracy and the fact that some people use the word proudly to describe themselves, do you also think it's ok to call someone a "fucking f*ggot" because it's technically an "accurate" term for "a gay man who engages in sexual intercourse?"
