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Post by alex101 on Sept 20, 2009 23:50:40 GMT -5
I'm starting to loose hope that I'll ever find someone else to love me or accept me. I mean I see guys who are better looking than me all the time and I think why would any girl in their right mind want to be with me when they could be with someone like them?
There isn't anything special about me and I just don't think I'm good enough for anybody. I mean I'm nice, compassionate, and try to help others but it seems like those things don't really matter.
I'm also 23 so I think I'm getting to old and have probably missed my chances anyway so I guess I just have to learn to accept it.
I don't understand though, because everyone that knows me and even some people I have classes with in college think I'm sweet and a really nice guy but that must be a bad thing because I am not with or have ever been with anyone; I've never even been kissed...ever.
They also tell me I'm good looking but I just don't know how to believe it myself. I'm 6"3', brown-green eyes, fast growing black hair, and olvie skin.
I guess I'm just confused and so many things are racing through my mind now. Any advice, please help if you can?
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Post by MrNice on Sept 21, 2009 0:50:40 GMT -5
have you ever attempted anything?
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Post by alex101 on Sept 21, 2009 1:33:07 GMT -5
What do you mean?  If you mean have I ever attempted talking to or asking a girl out then no I haven't. If you mean attempt as in attempting other things besides girls then yes, I'm in college pursuing my dream of becoming an artist or having a career involving something in art. I just don't think that love will ever happen for me because it would've happened by now. So there must be something wrong with me. |
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Post by madiocre on Sept 21, 2009 5:04:47 GMT -5
I think it important for you to realise things aren't happening not because you as a whole are worthless that isn't the case at all. its just a matter of not being able to show people how great you are... if that makes sense at all.
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Post by MrNice on Sept 21, 2009 8:15:53 GMT -5
and you don't see any issues with this?
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Post by alex101 on Sept 21, 2009 11:48:56 GMT -5
and you don't see any issues with this? Umm......nope. @madiocre: How can you show people how great you are? |
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gaia
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Post by gaia on Sept 21, 2009 11:59:31 GMT -5
I know how you feel. I've never had a relationship and it gets really disheartening at times.  But from what you've said, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be able to get a girlfriend. You don't sound bad looking and you're a nice enough person. You do need to put yourself out there though.. if you're too shy about trying to meet new people in person then perhaps look at online dating? If you want it badly enough, you have to go for it. It's horrible knowing you might face rejection, but no pain no gain. When the time is right it will happen... and that's another thing I believe has been a key factor with me. I don't know how ready i've been for a relationship in the past. There's always been that part of me that just wants to hide and shy away from it all. |
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Post by Astroruss on Sept 21, 2009 12:59:44 GMT -5
What do you mean? If you mean have I ever attempted talking to or asking a girl out then no I haven't. If you mean attempt as in attempting other things besides girls then yes, I'm in college pursuing my dream of becoming an artist or having a career involving something in art. I just don't think that love will ever happen for me because it would've happened by now. So there must be something wrong with me. You're only 23. You're not too old, you're just getting started.  And love doesn't just happen out of the blue. You must cultivate any relationship with the opposite sex. A woman won't just fall head over heels in love you at first site and expect the ring on the finger. Nope, doesn't work like that. You want to become an artist. Okay, this is a good slant to take. Women love artistic men. Art is something to feel and experience, to look at and contemplate, and appreciate.  Concentrate on your dream and you will come across women that will share your interests. They will be more likely to consider you if you are driven and thoughtful as an artist. And no, 23 is not too old. In fact, the mid-to-late twenties is when men and women alike start to wisen up and get down to earth. They begin to take life seriously and not just rely on surface impressions in the world of feelings. If you become an artistic and thoughtful man who can provide a stable, comfortable atmosphere and bring home a paycheck, and treat your girl as the wonderful and special person she is, well, you've got the world on your plate. |
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Post by arizona on Oct 1, 2009 14:58:46 GMT -5
It is true, Alex, 23 is hardly too late. I wish I were 23 again.......now at 45, THAT'S too late!
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Post by madiocre on Oct 1, 2009 16:07:03 GMT -5
its never to late for love....whether you are 23 or 45 you cold die tomorow...
i personally think the artistic thing is a a good place to start showing people who you are. I'm guessing it is a big part of who you are not the be all and end all but a large component? try going to artsy places with artsy people to talk about artsy things?
i think sometimes being quiet people we think a lot about who we are but by interacting with people we can learn more. i was thinking about how you may go about showing people who you are and i guess its something i personally find difficult because i tend to get confused in my self concept with all the reflecting i do.
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Post by viljoen on Oct 16, 2009 3:50:08 GMT -5
I'm starting to loose hope that I'll ever find someone else to love me or accept me. I mean I see guys who are better looking than me all the time and I think why would any girl in their right mind want to be with me when they could be with someone like them? Hey dude don't be so depress.One day your dream comes true wait and watch.Your turn will definitely come.I think you need some dating advice to achieve your goal.There are many girls all around you ,just try your best although you are good looking handsome one. You click on some online dating sites and search .apply all the ideas of dating on girls and you will find your destination. Best of Luck. www.themodernman.com |
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Post by airburst on Nov 4, 2009 2:59:53 GMT -5
and you don't see any issues with this? Umm......nope. If you don't make the effort, you'll never get any results. |
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Post by cyclopse on Nov 8, 2009 22:17:23 GMT -5
I will be 30 this year and have never been in a relationship so dont feel bad. Its funny becuase even when i was 23 i wasnt that worried about it but know i am.
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mixie
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Post by mixie on Jan 4, 2010 22:50:28 GMT -5
Don't give up! I'm 25 and only this year did I begin a relationship. Sometimes yeah I too felt that worried about it, but at the same time I told myself hey I'm still young something will happen. I think that motivation helped. I told myself that I had to get out of the house, even though there were many times when I just wanted to stay at home.  Just went and hung out with friends. You said that you're going to school for art, that's cool. I did too. Maybe you could join some art clubs that the school offers. It'll help you meet more people. Or you could go to art galleries. I don't know if you draw or paint, but maybe you could bring a sketch pad to a coffee shop and just draw there. Just some suggestions. |
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Post by anabella on Jan 20, 2010 12:26:17 GMT -5
HI ;D I hope this changes the way you see things. I have a very good friend, his name is Adolf. He is not the cutest gal around but he is funny, compassionate, kind, a great friend, and overall has a GREAT self esteem. He doesn't act as if he's not cute. He acts as if he's the handsomest guy around. He has such a great confidence. And want to know something? Most of my friends... emmm... including myself have some sort of crush on him. Why? Yeah, he might not be the handsomest, but we don't see that. When we are around him, he's just a guy that's funny, kind, and even cute. You make yourself as you want to be seen. He choose to be funny, cute, kind, and compassionate. He is all that. You can do that for yourself too. Just don't feel sorry for something that you feel you don't have. Act confident, act handsome, act funny, act kind. Be all of that and you will. |
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And love doesn't just happen out of the blue. You must cultivate any relationship with the opposite sex. A woman won't just fall head over heels in love you at first site and expect the ring on the finger. Nope, doesn't work like that. 
Just went and hung out with friends.