|
|
Post by brightestdark on Jan 24, 2010 22:27:57 GMT -5
You say you haven't tried anything. What if there are shy girls out there who like you but they are too shy? I know it's easy to tell you to make a move but you do need to try and do something else you'll never know. You can't expect the opposite sex to always come to you. You need to at least give them little signs you might be interested if nothing else.
23 is young. You're not old. You've got loads of time to find a girlfriend.
|
|
|
|
Post by fightingspirit on Feb 5, 2010 14:09:15 GMT -5
23 is young. You're not old. You've got loads of time to find a girlfriend. No, 23 years old is pretty much the last call for having the first relationship. You can't viably get your first girlfriend when you are 30 or above. Even late 20's is pushing it as your potential girlfriends will wonder what you've been up to all these years. Saying that you haven't found anybody is fine when you are in your teens or early 20's, but after that it's just perceived as creepy. It's never too early to get some non-committal relationship experience. |
|
|
|
Post by strawberrysweetie on Feb 5, 2010 17:57:19 GMT -5
No, 23 years old is pretty much the last call for having the first relationship. You can't viably get your first girlfriend when you are 30 or above. Even late 20's is pushing it as your potential girlfriends will wonder what you've been up to all these years. Saying that you haven't found anybody is fine when you are in your teens or early 20's, but after that it's just perceived as creepy. It's never too early to get some non-committal relationship experience. Ignore this. He's just bitter. Keep up a good attitude, maintain some sort of hope and desire, and there's always a chance. Losing all hope and becoming bitter only decrease your chances.  There are success stories out there about this. Don't give up. |
|
|
|
Post by fightingspirit on Feb 5, 2010 19:40:01 GMT -5
No, 23 years old is pretty much the last call for having the first relationship. You can't viably get your first girlfriend when you are 30 or above. Even late 20's is pushing it as your potential girlfriends will wonder what you've been up to all these years. Saying that you haven't found anybody is fine when you are in your teens or early 20's, but after that it's just perceived as creepy. It's never too early to get some non-committal relationship experience. Ignore this. He's just bitter. Keep up a good attitude, maintain some sort of hope and desire, and there's always a chance. Losing all hope and becoming bitter only decrease your chances. There are success stories out there about this. Don't give up. Bitter or not, there's more than a grain of truth to the fact that men past their mid-20s who are lacking relationship experience are generally looked down upon. I don't like it and I didn't invent it - it's just how it is. Men generally need to get relationship experience as early as possible. If there was any confusion, I am not talking about drunken one night stands. It's actual relationships preceded by courtship that matter. |
|
|
|
Post by pluralzalpha2 on Feb 8, 2010 15:49:30 GMT -5
What do you mean?  If you mean have I ever attempted talking to or asking a girl out then no I haven't. If you mean attempt as in attempting other things besides girls then yes, I'm in college pursuing my dream of becoming an artist or having a career involving something in art. I just don't think that love will ever happen for me because it would've happened by now. So there must be something wrong with me. If you become an artistic and thoughtful man who can provide a stable, comfortable atmosphere and bring home a paycheck, and treat your girl as the wonderful and special person she is, well, you've got the world on your plate.   listen to Russ. That's what I am looking for in a man. Just someone to take care of me and make me feel special. |
|
|
|
Post by outgoingbutshy on Feb 21, 2010 1:41:27 GMT -5
No, 23 years old is pretty much the last call for having the first relationship. You can't viably get your first girlfriend when you are 30 or above. Even late 20's is pushing it as your potential girlfriends will wonder what you've been up to all these years. Saying that you haven't found anybody is fine when you are in your teens or early 20's, but after that it's just perceived as creepy. It's never too early to get some non-committal relationship experience. Ignore this. He's just bitter. Keep up a good attitude, maintain some sort of hope and desire, and there's always a chance. Losing all hope and becoming bitter only decrease your chances. There are success stories out there about this. Don't give up. Well i don't know about the "first" relationship, as I've been married before; but I'm 47 and I thought the romance part of my life was over  (see the I'm in Love thread in the General Category on here). If I can find someone who is interested in me and loves me at MY age, then you can too, Fightingspirit ;D. Don't give up. She's out there somewhere. you just have to look. sometimes you have to take the initiative. Actually that is what I did, i took the initiative in my case, but he didn't run away , lol. so to reiterate, don't give up, just keep looking. you'll find her. Plus this fellow and I were friends for awhile also. It helps if you have a friendship first--at least it was/is in my experience. Take care . |
|
|
|
Post by fightingspirit on Mar 4, 2010 21:30:28 GMT -5
If I can find someone who is interested in me and loves me at MY age, then you can too, Fightingspirit ;D. Don't give up. She's out there somewhere. you just have to look. sometimes you have to take the initiative. Well, of course I am looking and taking initiative. If I didn't then certainly nothing would ever happen. Not to guys like me. Typically I don't hold any woman's interest when socializing. I am just a little too short, a little balding, a little too quiet, too unassuming, intelligent but no genius. I have a good job, two cars, no debt, no criminal record, but that's just not enough these days. There is nothing that would really make me stand out and being average pretty much amounts to being invisible to women. Not that I am not trying, I am, and I will continue to do so, but I am also realistic and I pretty much stopped holding my breath that something will happen out of the blue. I get an occasional date, mainly from online personals, and it almost always ends on date #1 or date #2 at the most. All the while, despite my best efforts to keep up some amiable, fun conversation, women look disinterested and distracted. A couple have actually bailed out on me right in the middle of the date with some lame excuses. There are some things in life that are within my control and I deal with those quite well, but there are others that are not entirely dependent on my efforts and those tend to be crappy. I can try my very best to be appealing to women, but for whatever reason, it's just not enough. |
|
|
|
Post by outgoingbutshy on Mar 4, 2010 21:58:43 GMT -5
Fighting spirit, i just tried to make a reply to you but i am having the worst damn time with this thing this laptop. I hear ya man, i really do look im on YOUR side!!! I myself am not very attractive so i appreciate what u are going through. I could fill this whole post page with negative comments about my looks, but why bother. the point's been made. LIsten, I wasn't accusing you of NOT taking the initiative, I was simply saying that sometimes it is a good thing to do. If you prefer to let them come to you, if you think that will accomplish your goal, then by all means, do what u wish. ALL i was saying is I had to take the initiative and encouraged you to do the same. Look, my sweetheart was my friend before, and we really didn't talk to each other that often. I myself took the initiative and messaged him privately and we got talking back and forth in various venues like pm or email or yahoo, etc. But if I hadn't made that first move, that first initial contact to him, this romance thing would not have happened. that is ALL im saying. All i was trying to do was encourage you  . So that is all i will say. I try really hard not to offend anyone on this board, and i am sorry i seemed to have struck a wrong chord with you. take care |
|
|
|
Post by fightingspirit on Mar 4, 2010 22:17:59 GMT -5
I hear ya man, i really do look im on YOUR side!!! I myself am not very attractive so i appreciate what u are going through. I could fill this whole post page with negative comments about my looks, but why bother. the point's been made. The popular myth is that the lack of terrific physical attractiveness should only be a problem for women and not men, but it's not quite how it works. I am not ugly for instance - just not dashingly handsome. It seems that women, even those who aren't classically beautiful are still able to get relationships and marry. LIsten, I wasn't accusing you of NOT taking the initiative, I was simply saying that sometimes it is a good thing to do. If you prefer to let them come to you, if you think that will accomplish your goal, then by all means, do what u wish. ALL i was saying is I had to take the initiative and encouraged you to do the same. I know that you didn't mean for it to be offensive, but it was just a little bit naive. I mean, a guy who doesn't do very well with women will typically figure out well before his 20th birthday that he HAS to take initiative if he ever wants to have a relationship. Being almost 30, that realization is so far in the past for me that it's almost like advising an adult that you shouldn't stick a fork in an electric socket. Look, my sweetheart was my friend before, and we really didn't talk to each other that often. I myself took the initiative and messaged him privately and we got talking back and forth in various venues like pm or email or yahoo, etc. But if I hadn't made that first move, that first initial contact to him, this romance thing would not have happened. that is ALL im saying. I do everything possible that is short of being labeled a stalker and so far, whenever it seems like the girl is not interested in me - she really isn't. And even if she seems to be interested for a little while, it goes away just like that. So it goes... All i was trying to do was encourage you . So that is all i will say. I try really hard not to offend anyone on this board, and i am sorry i seemed to have struck a wrong chord with you. In my response, I mostly wanted to stress that I am not a teenager who makes his first tentative steps towards finding a relationship and may be a little clumsy due to inexperience. I have already tried a lot of things and quite frankly there aren't many avenues out there that I've left unpursued. |
|
|
|
Post by outgoingbutshy on Mar 4, 2010 22:41:36 GMT -5
what's the point? all of us were just trying to encourage u, but it just seems to me that u just want to argue your own point. I am sorry I ever came on here to try to encourage you, fightingspirit. I never said that only women have to worry about being unattractive. all i said is that i myself feel the same way about my looks as you feel (or seem to indicate from your posts) about yours. you're either not comprehending my posts that i was trying to encourage you or i don't know. Look I want to be your friend, I even apologized to you and now I'm feeling attacked by you. i apologized why can't u acknowlege that. I don't even know why i had to apologize in the first place. I cant do this anymore. I would be nice if someone on here would say something, because this is really tiring me out. Somebody else who's reading, examine my posts, was what I said really that bad? because all i meant was just to encourage the poor fellow; and that i agreed with him; and now i am in tears  . Im not coming back to this thread because i tried hard to encourage him. If one of the mods reads my answers, and feels I said something wrong, would you please pm me and tell me what it is/was so I can try to make it right? I'm not coming back to this particular thread of fightingspirits because I am very upset now. I am only going to say this one more time and that's it, fightingspirit, im sorry (but i still don't know what im apologizing for!!!). You're on your own. I am done with trying to encourage you. If the mods tell me I have to apologize again, I will do it in pm. that is all. im outta here  !!! |
|
|
|
Post by fightingspirit on Mar 4, 2010 23:36:45 GMT -5
what's the point? all of us were just trying to encourage u, but it just seems to me that u just want to argue your own point. I was simply explaining my particular situation in more detail. I am sorry I ever came on here to try to encourage you, fightingspirit. Why? I appreciate the attempt at encouragement, but the fact is that a simple "hang in there" pat on the back doesn't really change my situation. When I was 18 years old and people would wonder why I don't have a girlfriend, they would quickly turn around and say - "oh well, just keep putting yourself out there and it'll happen before you know it". I accepted that as truth for a while, when I was 20, 22, even 25. After that I simply had to reassess my viewpoint and accept that it will be quite a bit more difficult for me and a cursory pep talk is just not going to help much, if any. I never said that only women have to worry about being unattractive. all i said is that i myself feel the same way about my looks as you feel (or seem to indicate from your posts) about yours. Yeah, I see that. I was mostly ranting against general perception and not your opinion. That was uncalled for from me though creating a strawman. you're either not comprehending my posts that i was trying to encourage you or i don't know. Look I want to be your friend, I even apologized to you and now I'm feeling attacked by you. i apologized why can't u acknowlege that. I don't even know why i had to apologize in the first place. I didn't ask for an apology and I don't think that one was required. I am not offended and neither should you be. I am simply voicing my opinion about my life. Unfortunately it's not all rosy and peachy so it comes across a bit ranting and negative. But it's honest. I cant do this anymore. I would be nice if someone on here would say something, because this is really tiring me out. Somebody else who's reading, examine my posts, was what I said really that bad? because all i meant was just to encourage the poor fellow; and that i agreed with him; and now i am in tears . That's WAY too much drama... Im not coming back to this thread because i tried hard to encourage him. If one of the mods reads my answers, and feels I said something wrong, would you please pm me and tell me what it is/was so I can try to make it right? Nothing is needed. I'm not coming back to this particular thread of fightingspirits because I am very upset now. I am only going to say this one more time and that's it, fightingspirit, im sorry (but i still don't know what im apologizing for!!!). You're on your own. I am done with trying to encourage you. If the mods tell me I have to apologize again, I will do it in pm. that is all. im outta here !!! I simply don't see why should you be upset. Is it the fact that I kinda, sorta disagreed with what you said? That's how it goes sometimes. I can tell you meant well, but what you said simply wasn't enough to help me in any way. That's all. |
|
|
|
Post by geekguy on Jun 14, 2010 11:10:04 GMT -5
Never
Give
Up
Don't make excuses for yourself. Put yourself out there. The woman of your dreams is not going to knock on your door one day and introduce herself to you. If you have something about yourself (say, you're a bit overweight, don't have nice clothes, etc) that may not be helping you, bloody well work on it!
And most importantly remember: Falling down is not failure, not getting back up is the true loss.
|
|
|
|
Post by madiocre on Jul 7, 2010 10:03:44 GMT -5
I don't see how you can give up?
it's something hat eats away aat you regardless may as well try do something.
|
|
(see the I'm in Love thread in the General Category on here). If I can find someone who is interested in me and loves me at MY 
. So that is all i will say. I try really hard not to offend anyone on this board, and i am sorry i seemed to have struck a wrong chord with you.
. Im not coming back to this thread because i tried hard to encourage him. If one of the mods reads my answers, and feels I said something wrong, would you please pm me and tell me what it is/was so I can try to make it right? I'm not coming back to this particular thread of fightingspirits because I am very upset now. I am only going to say this one more time and that's it, fightingspirit, im sorry 
!!!
