Post by redbandana on Sept 21, 2009 15:55:19 GMT -5
When it comes to relationships, I am completely clueless. I am 20 now, going on 21 and I've never been in a proper relationship. Even my 13 year old sister had a boyfriend which I find totally depressing...
The thing is...its not like I haven't had any chances. There have been a few guys interested me at uni and in high school. I also work in the library part time in the holidays and a couple of customers have come up to me to ask me out. I just don't FEEL anything for them; I know its a bit premature expecting to like a guy on the first encounter or after a few meets but I'll automatically come up with some excuse as to why I cannot date them; mostly that I'm afraid that if they get to know me better they will find me uninteresting or that really it is only a superficial attraction. Also, that it will just be plain awkward since I'm not particularly good at small talk. My friends keep telling me...'you're pretty, why don't you have a boyfriend?'. I don't know why but lately I feel like I've been retreating back into my shell; shying away from social situations and keeping more to myself. My self-confidence is at its lowest and right at the time where I should be looking and applying for jobs. How can I expect others to see my potential if I cannot even see it myself!?
There is one guy though...but it took me so long to get warmed up to him that I'm surprised he didn't give up. We hung out a lot and spent time; just the two of us with dinners, musicals, romantic plays and random trips. I guess things did happen between us but now he has graduated and gone home- home the other side of the world literally. I'm still in contact with him...and he wants me to move over there so we can give it a go but right now I guess that is pretty unrealistic.
Sorry, I guess this turned into a rant about life than anything but thanks if you bothered to read through all of it
I guess I'm just looking for advice of what I could do next...to boost my confidence a little. Also some dating advice; what makes you say yes to a guy/girl? I seem to have the inability to see yes to even a date....its not like the guy wants to marry me or even get in a relationship yet but already my mind will be thinking up all these negative thoughts. Anyways any comments or shared experiences are much appreciated
The thing is...its not like I haven't had any chances. There have been a few guys interested me at uni and in high school. I also work in the library part time in the holidays and a couple of customers have come up to me to ask me out. I just don't FEEL anything for them; I know its a bit premature expecting to like a guy on the first encounter or after a few meets but I'll automatically come up with some excuse as to why I cannot date them; mostly that I'm afraid that if they get to know me better they will find me uninteresting or that really it is only a superficial attraction. Also, that it will just be plain awkward since I'm not particularly good at small talk. My friends keep telling me...'you're pretty, why don't you have a boyfriend?'. I don't know why but lately I feel like I've been retreating back into my shell; shying away from social situations and keeping more to myself. My self-confidence is at its lowest and right at the time where I should be looking and applying for jobs. How can I expect others to see my potential if I cannot even see it myself!?
There is one guy though...but it took me so long to get warmed up to him that I'm surprised he didn't give up. We hung out a lot and spent time; just the two of us with dinners, musicals, romantic plays and random trips. I guess things did happen between us but now he has graduated and gone home- home the other side of the world literally. I'm still in contact with him...and he wants me to move over there so we can give it a go but right now I guess that is pretty unrealistic.
Sorry, I guess this turned into a rant about life than anything but thanks if you bothered to read through all of it
I guess I'm just looking for advice of what I could do next...to boost my confidence a little. Also some dating advice; what makes you say yes to a guy/girl? I seem to have the inability to see yes to even a date....its not like the guy wants to marry me or even get in a relationship yet but already my mind will be thinking up all these negative thoughts. Anyways any comments or shared experiences are much appreciated 