wha's going on inside this guy's mind?! help

[bluskygirl]

I like this guy at work( i think he's very shy).When i first arrived at his department (two months now), we started to flirt with each other ,i think i was the first who attracted his attention and giving him too much attention...i found him really funny, interesting, calm and quiet and very polite with almoust anyone....qualities i like in a guy.So he started to be as flirty as me and i could notice him wathcing me everywhere i was ...he would look me sometimes deeply in my eyes and he teased me a lot all the time...he would get closer to me when i was at his office...being around me a lot and wahcting me from a distance ...sometimes he could come when i was alone and at times not, just searching for me and watching me from a distance.
Well, im too confused....i dont know if he is really interested in me and like to get to know me.
I started to send him sms , once in two days, normall sms, fto show him that i care about him and that to make him laugh....i made some effort and made him treat me with a drink at a bar at our workplace....i could see him being really embarrased there , but i tried to make him feel confortable.
He would help me a lot with my documentaries and hes really talented on his job and ive told him that...now its been a week and he's acting distant and i dont know why.......he keeps looking me from a distance but dosnt came any closer....once he would seat back not parallel to me and asking me quesion ...i had to turn my head back to be polite to him...some days i feel he completely avoids me.....
i really got offended last day , i went to his office to say him hi and to ask him something...he said oh no i cant help u today ...i just started my sentence without saying what i had to say ....it was the second time he told me that ...i didnt got o him to ask him help me...so i said well im sorry for bothering u and left his office ...he called my name to go back and tell him what i was supposed to tell him but i didnt....i felt bad , cause i've treated him so good, being gentle and nice to him,tried to make him feel comfortable, always complimenting him on his job and sometimes on his clothes....and now he acts like that?

guys , especially shy guys why this guy i like is acting like that?
what is he thinking? I felt bad last day and im not going to talk to him unless he talks me first and mabey apologize .......i could see him feel bad after that but this situation happend twice.....
am i wasting my time on him or should i be patiente and wait....?
does he like me or not at all and its just me immagining things?

[hamlad]

I would venture that it's just you imagining things. He probably does like you and there is some other reason that he is behaving so nonchalantly or perhaps offensively towards you. I would suspect that by making him go for a drink you pressured him into a situation in which he was uncomfortable and for which he holds you responsible. Perhaps he is just really busy or is intimidated by intimacy. Maybe the thing to do is try to forget about and mutually forgive each other. Do not try to talk to him about it. Men are not good at it and he will feel more pressured.

Personally I've recently been having huge problems with this girl. She's really pretty and is the daughter of my uncle's adviser and we saw each other for a while before we moved on to anything more serious. Ever since my father passed, and his ghost came back to ask me to revenge him I find that I just haven't had time for her. I find myself doing and saying things intentionally to hurt her even though I really still love her. The other day I told her to Go to a nunnery, several times. I think I may have ruined things and now I'm really upset. I don't really know how to write this but I killed her father when I found him in my mum's bedroom. I'm really worried that everyone hates me.

I'm sure that you and this guy will work things out. It can't be as bad as me and her.

[Naptaq]

Nov 21, 2009 15:42:27 GMT -5 hamlad said:

Ever since my father passed, and his ghost came back to ask me to revenge him

Excuse me? You're either a phony, an 'online actor' looking for attention or someone that's on drugs and/or hallucinating.. but I could be wrong.

I don't really know how to write this but I killed her father when I found him in my mum's bedroom.

What?!

[Sigh]

Naptaq, never read Shakespeare's Hamlet? No idea what the point of it is though, pretending to be Hamlet.

[Naptaq]

Hamlet? Is that what it is? Then I was right, and this guy is a phony internet actor.

Try in chat rooms, or better yet, try acting in real life. A lot more (potential) upside in that skill.

Everybody's a good actor - or liar - online.

[hamlad]

The point is that the struggles of hamlet, or rather the emotional difficulties that Hamlet has to overcome, have no objective correlative. The people around him cannot understand him. The barriers that he places before himself are insurmountable, but exist only in his own mind. His reactions are entirely disproportionate to those expected of someone in his position. He is socially awkward, sarcastic, and isolated. In short hamlet is the archetypal shy person.

That's the point. Also thought you might find it humorous.

[Sigh]

Nov 23, 2009 20:06:53 GMT -5 hamlad said:

In short hamlet is the archetypal shy person.

I wouldn't agree with that, most of us are not busy obsessing over killing murderous uncles oddly enough lol.

[agenericgirl]

Maybe he's a masochist and wants you to beat him up.

[anothershy1]

It sounds like the way I act around a girl I really like but am to scared to tell her or even hint and I keep losing them so to speak. So I would say he does and doesn't know how to tell you hint to you maybe you could say you you would like more than friendship and if not then you would be happy to remain friends.

I have never been with anyone so I'm reporting this from the outside and very very shy, but thats just my opnion.

[agenericgirl]

The part I don't understand is when shy guys act offensively, as one poster described it. I mean, I know it happens, but what can you do when someone goes that far? If they are going to behave offensively and say offensive things to you out of their fear - how can you get past that? I would think it's virtually impossible in a social setting, because you would be the one people would think is crazy if you persevered trying to be friendly with them.

[tylo]

i made some effort and made him treat me with a drink at a bar at our workplace

Maybe this really turned him off. It's not a guys job to buy women drinks. Why should he spend his money on you? What are you going to ask for next? A girl that asks a guy to buy her things is a gold digger. Red flag! Stay away!

[agenericgirl]

Dec 13, 2009 18:00:24 GMT -5 tylo said:

i made some effort and made him treat me with a drink at a bar at our workplace

Maybe this really turned him off. It's not a guys job to buy women drinks. Why should he spend his money on you? What are you going to ask for next? A girl that asks a guy to buy her things is a gold digger. Red flag! Stay away!

What is a guy who hints around to females that he wants things bought for him? What is that called?

[tylo]

What is a guy who hints around to females that he wants things bought for him? What is that called?

He would be called a piece of sh*t.

People should pay their own way. Both men and women can offer to pay for the other but it should go both ways.

Neither should be expecting to get the other to pay their way or buy them things.

[agenericgirl]

Dec 17, 2009 18:48:14 GMT -5 tylo said:

What is a guy who hints around to females that he wants things bought for him? What is that called?

He would be called a piece of sh*t.

People should pay their own way. Both men and women can offer to pay for the other but it should go both ways.

Neither should be expecting to get the other to pay their way or buy them things.

Wait a minute, isn't Aiko going to expect you to do pretty much everything...including pay for everything...including...her?

[bleaknunhappy]

He is definitely in to you, knowing from experience this is text book shy guy behavior. All I can really say is just stick around, I've been like this towards girls in the past and openly talking about his shyness will most likely make him feel embarassed. You should ask him to lunch at work on your break and try to talk to him more, you could try openly telling him that you like him, but since I do not personally know the man and how shy he is, this could be a risk. All I can say is that if he likes you enough, he will get over himself and ask you out. Hope my advice helps...