Post by collegeshy on Dec 12, 2009 15:57:08 GMT -5
So once again I find myself in the same situation that I was in my freshman year of high school. Got to know someone, felt comfortable talking to them, and then lost them.
I will explain the situation as it happened this year. I had a great professor for one of my classes. He was always really nice to me - gave me really nice compliments on my writing and stuff. And I went to him with help on my assignments a lot and started to feel really comfortable talking to him (which is important for me, as a shy person). One day I went to office hours to get help on a paper I was working on. He pointed out the issues that I needed to work on, etc, and said, "You're a good writer, you just don't have enough confidence in your abilities." Then he said later, "I want you to be happy about your writing. Why aren't you?" And I don't know what happened but I just broke down and started talking about how I felt like I was screwing up my life, blah, blah, blah. I won't get into it, but he gave me some good advice and he was obviously listening and it was like he genuinely cared about me. It was so touching that I went home and cried that night.
Monday was the last class. I stayed after and said, "Thanks for putting up with me" (because I emailed him a lot during the semester to ask for help on things and would always be panicked about the assignments). And he laughed and smiled and said that he enjoyed my writing and my thinking during the class and that he liked getting "those crazy emails" (my words) that I would send him and he said that "the world would be a better place if there were more crazy people in it." And finally, "Take care of yourself, Jessica."
Well, now I am a total mess because I am so depressed about this class being over - specifically, not having him as a professor, and I don't know what to do. It's rare that I feel so comfortable talking to someone, you know? And I find myself wondering why I always lose these people in my life. The same sort of thing happened freshman year when I was close to one of my teachers. I went into a deep depression and ended up in therapy for self-destructive behavior. I'm mortified that that is going to happen again.
I will explain the situation as it happened this year. I had a great professor for one of my classes. He was always really nice to me - gave me really nice compliments on my writing and stuff. And I went to him with help on my assignments a lot and started to feel really comfortable talking to him (which is important for me, as a shy person). One day I went to office hours to get help on a paper I was working on. He pointed out the issues that I needed to work on, etc, and said, "You're a good writer, you just don't have enough confidence in your abilities." Then he said later, "I want you to be happy about your writing. Why aren't you?" And I don't know what happened but I just broke down and started talking about how I felt like I was screwing up my life, blah, blah, blah. I won't get into it, but he gave me some good advice and he was obviously listening and it was like he genuinely cared about me. It was so touching that I went home and cried that night.
Monday was the last class. I stayed after and said, "Thanks for putting up with me" (because I emailed him a lot during the semester to ask for help on things and would always be panicked about the assignments). And he laughed and smiled and said that he enjoyed my writing and my thinking during the class and that he liked getting "those crazy emails" (my words) that I would send him and he said that "the world would be a better place if there were more crazy people in it." And finally, "Take care of yourself, Jessica."
Well, now I am a total mess because I am so depressed about this class being over - specifically, not having him as a professor, and I don't know what to do. It's rare that I feel so comfortable talking to someone, you know? And I find myself wondering why I always lose these people in my life. The same sort of thing happened freshman year when I was close to one of my teachers. I went into a deep depression and ended up in therapy for self-destructive behavior. I'm mortified that that is going to happen again.