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Post by rockwife22 on Jan 19, 2010 12:49:30 GMT -5
Drives me crazy and always has. I always thought it was in my head but in high school I even overheard it.
I'm a prick. I never look people in the eye. I never want to talk to anyone.
Why can't they figure out I'm not a mean person, I'm just freaking shy?!
Drives me up the wall all the time. I swear I just overheard it in church accidentally again too. I think I'm better than everyone else? Yeah right!
I guess it is hard to tell the difference at first, there isn't much I can do about it. Anyone else getting tired of being labeled 'mean and self-centered' instead of shy? I hate being called shy but it's a lot better than being called other stuff.
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Post by HybridMoment on Jan 19, 2010 19:52:19 GMT -5
I think some people must underestimate the loudness of their own voices, because I always hear people say things you know they wouldn't want others to hear. Either that or they do it on purpose and are just really horrible people.
The only was I've ever been able to avoid getting talked about negatively was to go out of my way greeting people and exaggerating being a friendly person. Also it doesn't hurt to ask people questions about their life or what ever so you can avoid them focusing on your shyness.
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Post by anabella on Jan 20, 2010 12:52:22 GMT -5
I think what it is is that people find it weird that YOU would be and are shy and therefore automatically believe you are all of those things you heard them say.
Like for example... me. The few close friends i have always tell me that if they didn't know me any better they'd think i was self centered, rude, and even like they said about you "too good for them" I guess they misunderstand shy with all of those things. But yeah, sadly most of the people see and find the worst things they can think of to have an explanation instead of a good one or before even jumping into conclusions and judging someone. Guess some things will never change :/
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Post by superlative introversion on Jan 20, 2010 21:30:18 GMT -5
HybridMoment is right. If you don't make any effort to appear interested in other people, they will assume those negative things about you. Asking questions about them (even if you don't necessarily care) makes it seem like you aren't so self-centered. Also smiling more might remove the 'mean' label. Once they get to know you, all of those assumptions will disappear.
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Post by SHY: Should He Yell on Feb 8, 2010 19:23:00 GMT -5
HybridMoment is right. If you don't make any effort to appear interested in other people, they will assume those negative things about you. Asking questions about them (even if you don't necessarily care) makes it seem like you aren't so self-centered. Also smiling more might remove the 'mean' label. Once they get to know you, all of those assumptions will disappear. Ditto!!! I'm aware of this for myself as well. Like if I don't show up to get togethers. But there is the other side of it, don't let what YOU perceive or think what other people think of you, real or imagined. This is something I struggle and I'm working with it. Cause it can be dangerous if you let the lies or imaginary perception of what others think of you when in reality people are too busy thinking of themselves.  |
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jai
Full Member
Posts: 131
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Post by jai on Mar 1, 2010 13:32:44 GMT -5
A majority of people misinterpret our behaviour based on their first impression of us. They think they are so right in their interpretation of us therefore keep it the same for as long as they know you. People like them cannot stand being wrong, cannot see their own mistake and change their decision upon us. I know they say first impressions are alot but if their wrong they CAN be changed
Im not saying everyone is like that there are people out there who will see our shyness and try to make it easier on us.
I've been called alot of things by alot of people, throughout primary, secondary school and college. It calmed down in university as people become more mature and begin to understand but there still are alot of people. Whenever I began to step of the social ladder and went with one of my friends to meet other new friends I've had unimaginable things said about me right in front of me. They mix it up in metaphors and talk about me indirectly assuming I don't understand. I'm not stupid I made it to University just like you all did, I'm just extremely shy.
People are so self-centred, it doesn't hurt me...well ok it does a little but they are only words at the end of the day. I've been disgusted by peoples words and behaviour when they find out I'm the quiet one. I guess it only us shy people who are truely helpful people
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