Post by christine220 on Jan 29, 2010 9:50:57 GMT -5
Sometimes I feel like I don't even exist. As though I matter to no one. I know I shouldn't care what other people think of me but I can't help it. I started volunteering at an animal shelter in an attempt to meet new people. I also fostered some kittens through the shelter trying to get them adopted. Three months ago when my first kitten was adopted (before I started volunteering) the shelter manager (a girl my age) emailed me and told me he was adopted. Well since then I've been volunteering quite a lot- worked on thanksgiving and it was just me and the shelter manager that day, worked christmas eve, new years eve and plus two to three nights a week there. Yet, I am ignored. I try to talk to other people there including the manager and they act like I'm annoying them.
Another one of my kittens was adopted this past week and the shelter manager KNOWS that I would have really liked to have known this. She didn't email me or even tell me when she saw me there yesterday. I found out he was missing and asked her if he had been adopted and she was like "yeah" and walked away from me. But she talks to everyone else. She is very social and always talking to someone. But there must be something wrong with me because she doesn't say two words to me even though I try to engage her in conversation. Then there is a girl there that I thought was my friend. She is always telling me I'm her favorite person to work with (she is younger than me) because I'm hard working and she likes to clean and I don't make fun of her for that. We talk a lot. Well yesterday, I cleaned one whole area by myself and I thought I did a good job and this girl comes down with some new volunteers and says she is going to train them.
She tells me she is going to have them clean the whole room, change all the dishes etc. I told her the room was done and I"d already done all of that except I didn't mop the floor yet. She says "well I'll have them do it all over anyway." That upset me because I had spent two hours cleaning this pet area and she acts like I did nothing and is going to have someone do the work all over again just so she can train them. There were 6 other rooms she could have used to train them but she picked the one I had completed.
Then today at work a new coworker comes over to adjust the thermostat and with her back to us she says something about being cold. I told her it is always cold in here and that she's allowed to bring a small heater in if she wants. I made a joke about how cold it is. She turns around and starts talking about her coffee is cold before she has a chance to drink it and doesn't even look at me (even though I was the one who talked to her) and she looks at my other coworker that sits by me and keeps talking about how cold it is and the other lady looks up and sees she's talking to her so she says a few things back. But I was the one who started the conversation and the new lady just acted like I wasn't even there.
And people wonder why I don't talk much. what is the point?
Another one of my kittens was adopted this past week and the shelter manager KNOWS that I would have really liked to have known this. She didn't email me or even tell me when she saw me there yesterday. I found out he was missing and asked her if he had been adopted and she was like "yeah" and walked away from me. But she talks to everyone else. She is very social and always talking to someone. But there must be something wrong with me because she doesn't say two words to me even though I try to engage her in conversation. Then there is a girl there that I thought was my friend. She is always telling me I'm her favorite person to work with (she is younger than me) because I'm hard working and she likes to clean and I don't make fun of her for that. We talk a lot. Well yesterday, I cleaned one whole area by myself and I thought I did a good job and this girl comes down with some new volunteers and says she is going to train them.
She tells me she is going to have them clean the whole room, change all the dishes etc. I told her the room was done and I"d already done all of that except I didn't mop the floor yet. She says "well I'll have them do it all over anyway." That upset me because I had spent two hours cleaning this pet area and she acts like I did nothing and is going to have someone do the work all over again just so she can train them. There were 6 other rooms she could have used to train them but she picked the one I had completed.
Then today at work a new coworker comes over to adjust the thermostat and with her back to us she says something about being cold. I told her it is always cold in here and that she's allowed to bring a small heater in if she wants. I made a joke about how cold it is. She turns around and starts talking about her coffee is cold before she has a chance to drink it and doesn't even look at me (even though I was the one who talked to her) and she looks at my other coworker that sits by me and keeps talking about how cold it is and the other lady looks up and sees she's talking to her so she says a few things back. But I was the one who started the conversation and the new lady just acted like I wasn't even there.
And people wonder why I don't talk much. what is the point?
that makes me happy. 
). Fortunately, for those days that I felt really unimportant I had a close friend and my family to bring up my spirits.