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Post by jenkydora on Feb 7, 2010 20:45:52 GMT -5
I really enjoy goint to the gym, but of lately I haven't.
I am finding it increasingly difficult to get to know people. I don't really want any firm relationships or anything. So not to appear arrogant, when I constantly pass the same people day in and out, I am begining to feel like I may come off as stuck up. Perhaps I am invisible.
I feel even more up myself when other people are so popular and talk to people all the time.
I feel envious and spiteful. I feel inferiour when women are stick thin, with golden hair and are very sociable. Yeah, my post is so common and you've heard it all before. But., you know, I dont want to feel like I'm and idiot, by being sociable, only to be rejected. My self esteem is really down, right now.
In my opinion, I dont try to be that friendly, cause I believe people are only drawn to attractive poeple, and I have a low opinion of me right now.
Life sucks and then you die. What a bitch.
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Post by pluralzalpha2 on Feb 8, 2010 1:16:30 GMT -5
I'm up late so I thought I'd get in a few post replies.
I am going through a similar situation to yours. I have low self esteem and at times feel envious toward other people, especially women who are slender and beautiful. So it may i hope be a little comfort to you to know that you are not alone. Society being imo quite focused on physical appearance, it is dificult when one feels they look different from others. And i agree with you about people being drawn to attractive people. There seems to be a thing about us human beings that is repelled by "ugliness". I don't know, maybe they think if they get too close to someone who's not a model or thin that they'll somehow become that way themselves.
i know life can definitely suck. just know youre not alone. And it IS difficult to "put oneself out there" and attempt to be ffriendly, for fear of being rejected. This is where im at also. hang in theer.
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Post by SHY: Should He Yell on Feb 8, 2010 19:12:51 GMT -5
I really enjoy goint to the gym, but of lately I haven't. I am finding it increasingly difficult to get to know people. I don't really want any firm relationships or anything. So not to appear arrogant, when I constantly pass the same people day in and out, I am begining to feel like I may come off as stuck up. Perhaps I am invisible. I feel even more up myself when other people are so popular and talk to people all the time. I feel envious and spiteful. I feel inferiour when women are stick thin, with golden hair and are very sociable. Yeah, my post is so common and you've heard it all before. But., you know, I dont want to feel like I'm and idiot, by being sociable, only to be rejected. My self esteem is really down, right now. In my opinion, I dont try to be that friendly, cause I believe people are only drawn to attractive poeple, and I have a low opinion of me right now. Life sucks and then you die. What a bitch. Yeah I kinda get envious of people who are out going or can approach people especially the opposite sex so easily. I can talk to girls no problem but if I'm interested in them then...  You are not alone. Even people who are talkative are afraid of rejection, in some form or another. Believe it. While it is human nature to tendency to be drawn to "attractive" people whom ever you deem attractive. Why do you think Hollywood is the way it is? Yes that is Hollywood and doesn't reflect real life and people. Only the very few. Don't be so hard on yourself. I used to be the same way. So down on my looks. But i've trained and realized what I say about myself is me and lies I tell myself. The part you say "In my opinion, I dont try to be that friendly, cause I believe people are only drawn to attractive poeple" I noticed you say you try not to be friendly. Well don't you think because of that people might be reluctant to talk to you? I'm not saying your a mean person but if you don't look welcoming or close yourself up it will feed itself. meaning people might not see you as approachable and then you take it as well they want to talk to only "attractive" people. Which is so far from the truth. Maybe with some very few but... I'm going through a crappy time too but for different reasons. I hope you don't see my post as an attack but an insight. I just thought I try to help you see it in a different perspective which helps me when I question stuff. I even research stuff on the internet as far as behaviors, situations or whatever.   |
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Feb 8, 2010 20:51:12 GMT -5
In my opinion, I dont try to be that friendly, cause I believe people are only drawn to attractive poeple, and I have a low opinion of me right now. self-fulfilling prophecy alert! I can see where you are coming from, though. I have very low self-esteem as well, which seems to be starting to drag me down again here lately. I wish I could be motivated enough to go to the gym. Seriously keep it up; at least you go. The fitness center at my school would be free for me to use, but I'm too afraid to go....because I know I will feel inferior and self-conscious...expecting that all the attractive, thin, athletic, tall people will dominate there. It is a sucky feeling.  But in the very least, be proud of yourself for going. I hope you start feeling better about yourself soon, though. And try to keep in mind that what is seen as "attractive" is up to the individual, not necessarily according to society's standard idea. |
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Post by jenkydora on Feb 9, 2010 4:30:08 GMT -5
It is getting harder for me to be there. I do have my safe zones and safety areas. It is large enough for me at times to get away from the people who love to circle and just talk. Argh!!
I used to love the feeling of being free and I used to have this feeling at a gym, but that was my old gym and every gym is different. This one is like peak time alot.
Thankyou for your insights and I know you're right about self fullfilling prophecies.
If I feel inferiour inside it becomes my reality. When you feel crap, you think crap, it becomes so.
But at the same time, I want to feel it is ok to be me. I am not going to be talking with all the men like I see some women do.
It is just the fact that people judge that I have a problem with.
I dont want to be miss popular, but comfortable in me as I am, I have to do some self work, on being happy with not being the majority and still have my inner confidence.
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