Why can't I talk to him?!

[dinag]

Hello everyone, I'm having a little trouble with this issue and it is difficult to figure it out by myself. Could really use a second, third and fourth opinion on what I should do.

Every tues/thurs I get out of class and wait for the bus to take me home. I wait out by the shelter, next to everyone else who is waiting. Then HE comes around. He's about my height, maybe a little taller, brown hair, can't tell his eye color. Has a bit of an acne problem, but still very cute. We're similar in clothing style(and possibly music going by clothing style). So he looks like he would be interesting to talk to, no?

So why can I not talk to this man? I freeze up and I can't think of anything witty/funny to say. I think to mention the weather, but my lips won't form the words . I just think "oh well he won't be interested in me, I can't even speak without my brain getting in my way". Not even sure if he would be attracted to me, but I still want to try! So any thoughts on how to unblock my brain and get the guts up to talk to this guy?

[Stranger]

Hmm, I'm guessing what you're fearing is that you'll run out of things to say and have one of those drawn-out, awkward, silent moments. (That'd be my biggest fear, anyway.)

To form a deep connection, you'll need more than smalltalk. You've spotted something in common; perhaps you could comment on his clothing, and ask if he's into the type of music you think he is. At least that's probably more likely to be an interesting conversation than the weather. Other ideas here.

As for summoning the courage, maybe it'd help to try chatting to a few other people earlier in the day. Get into a chattier mood. Might also help to not get too "invested" in him before you know anything about him. Forget that he mightn't be interested in you... you mightn't be interested in him!

[dinag]

Mar 10, 2010 0:26:50 GMT -5 Stranger said:

Hmm, I'm guessing what you're fearing is that you'll run out of things to say and have one of those drawn-out, awkward, silent moments. (That'd be my biggest fear, anyway.)

To form a deep connection, you'll need more than smalltalk. You've spotted something in common; perhaps you could comment on his clothing, and ask if he's into the type of music you think he is. At least that's probably more likely to be an interesting conversation than the weather. Other ideas here.

As for summoning the courage, maybe it'd help to try chatting to a few other people earlier in the day. Get into a chattier mood. Might also help to not get too "invested" in him before you know anything about him. Forget that he mightn't be interested in you... you mightn't be interested in him!

You hit the nail on the head lol I am terrified that the conversation will just die out, and there will be nothing else to say. That would be very embarressing(especially since I care about the outcome so much).
That would be a good conversation starter, and even if he isn't into the same music I'm into, I can at least carry on a bit about who he is into. Talking about the weather seems kind of lame(even though it has helped me start up a convo with a few people).
Thanks for the link, there are some very good suggestions on there that I could use for the future! I especially liked the one about reacting the way that the comment was intended for, I hate when people just go like "oh that's cool", makes me feel like I'm boring the person. I think I might be a little too invested in the outcome like you said, so I just have to treat him like any other person I'm talking to for the first time. Maybe then I could relax a bit .

[Stranger]

Sounds like you have a plan. Best of luck!

[dinag]

Thanks so much, I shall apply the plan when I see him next!