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Post by plainntall on Mar 12, 2010 19:40:21 GMT -5
So I'm a shy girl, trying to start something with (what I can only assume based on behavior) a shy guy. So you have two people who are afraid to put themselves out there. Slowest/longest courtship in history.
I would like to hear from shy guys, how they feel they would like a girl who is interested in them to express that interest, keeping in mind that it is not really fair to make the girl do all the work.
What would make you feel comfortable is making a more yourself?
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Post by fightingspirit on Mar 12, 2010 19:58:38 GMT -5
So I'm a shy girl, trying to start something with (what I can only assume based on behavior) a shy guy. So you have two people who are afraid to put themselves out there. Slowest/longest courtship in history. I would like to hear from shy guys, how they feel they would like a girl who is interested in them to express that interest, keeping in mind that it is not really fair to make the girl do all the work. What would make you feel comfortable is making a more yourself? Several things I can think of: - Initiate eye contact and hold it for just a little while to make it fairly obvious that it was intentional, an encouraging smile and a flirting gesture like touching your hair would go a long way towards convincing a shy guy that you are interested without being pushy - If you have an opportunity to say 'hi' or comment on something he's doing, definitely do so, make him understand that you've noticed him. Shy guys often think that girls couldn't possibly be interested in them and that they are invisible. Unfortunately that's usually true so you might have to take initiative in breaking the ice from that perspective. - Even if you do initiate, it should be up to the guy to make the first move in terms of escalating it and asking for a date. Otherwise, it will mean that the guy is either not interested in you romantically or he is so handicapped by his shy condition that he won't be able to function within a healthy relationship. - Be patient and understanding of some early blunders and awkwardness on this guy's part. In fact, the more he cares about you, the more he is likely to be nervous. Suaveness and self-assurance from the get go are tell-tale marks of players. I find it strange that women find those traits alluring rather than alarming. |
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Post by Stranger on Mar 13, 2010 2:51:45 GMT -5
So I'm a shy girl, trying to start something with (what I can only assume based on behavior) a shy guy. So you have two people who are afraid to put themselves out there. Slowest/longest courtship in history. I would like to hear from shy guys, how they feel they would like a girl who is interested in them to express that interest, keeping in mind that it is not really fair to make the girl do all the work. What would make you feel comfortable is making a more yourself? Love the title.  I guess it's not exactly news, but I think the goal is to leave absolutely no doubt in his mind that you dig him. My girlfriend and I (both shy) have looked back on moments where one of us mistakenly thought the other might or might not have been flirting. The uncertainty was enough to make us both not really think much of it. (The fact that we were on opposite sides of the globe was actually less work to overcome in the end!) All I can really suggest is to flirt with him often and consistently, and any time you think he may be flirting back, respond one notch higher. Nothing out of the ordinary, but extra emphasis on the consistency. I suspect shy people just need more assurance that they're not going to feel silly if they reveal their feelings for the other, particularly when they also need to overcome first-time jitters. Some of us can require an awful lot of assurance at times, heh. I disagree that the guy has to make the first move; he just needs to reciprocate back. For what it's worth, my girlfriend made the first clear move, and I don't think I'm unable to function in a relationship (though I suppose self-perception isn't exactly the finest lens, lol). |
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Post by outgoingbutshy on Mar 13, 2010 17:04:30 GMT -5
i agree with Stranger , i had to make the first move  in regard to Traditional, lol; and yes, shy people, men or women, need reassurance, this is most def true. I know i for one need much reassurance from people--whether it be a plutonic or a romantic relationship . |
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in regard to Traditional, lol; and yes, shy people, men or women, need reassurance, this is most def true. I know i for one need much reassurance from people--whether it be a plutonic or a romantic relationship