He says I need to make some friends

[skyhint]

Awe muffin.
I know it hurts when someone brings up your shyness.
I cried last week when my career advisor started to talk about it. (the same jerk that said I looked like a bad soccer player. GRRRGRRR)
But I think your boyfriend meant well he just didn't realize it would hurt your feelings.

I agree with your last sentence. Coming out of your shell is something thats got to happen naturally or it won't happen at all.

[timarends]

Your post was conflicted (or maybe not). First you said you were pretty contented with the number of friends you have (or don't have), then later you said you have anxiety and it's really hard to connect with other people. Maybe your boyfriend was just trying to help you, but you have to decide what you really want before you can make changes.

Perhaps what you mean is that you have a certain anxiety about making friends and you have come to accept this as a natural and normal part of your personality, which I would say is a healthy and rational response for the most part.

[fightingspirit]

Aug 1, 2010 19:11:52 GMT -5 peekaboo said:

So now SU I have locked myself away in the bedroom, I'm so pissed like why do men do these things?

You do have a boyfriend. At least you are in a relationship and you have somebody to argue with, which is a lot - believe it or not.

Aug 1, 2010 19:11:52 GMT -5 peekaboo said:

He knew what type of person I was when we met now he feels that I need to make friends is it because he has friends and feels guilty because of this or what? Im pretty content without friends at this point in my life. I wonder if his guy friends have said something to him about this. I don't know I have anxiety really bad its just hard to really connect with other ppl it was even hard to connect with my bf in the beginning but it happened. So I feel that all things happen in time when they are suppose to as long as we push and try to make them happen.

I doubt that your boyfriend would dump you because you're not making friends as long as you're a good companion to him.

[Scotty]

We'll be your friends! ;D

I'm tired and don't have any real advice to offer on this, so maybe I'll come back and try again once I'm more awake.

[Rose]

It sucks how sometimes certain guy's seemingly well meaning advice can come off so poisonous and the opposite of help. I've struggled with this myself all week while on vacation (not with my BF, someone else). It can be infuriating to say the least, lol.

Anyway, it shouldn't matter what he thinks you need. You are in charge of you. If you want to make friends badly enough than I believe it will happen.

[peekaboo]

I'm so glad I came back to SU, I love the support here, and yes I do believe my bf loves me, but I am a very sensitive gal, I critque every word from beginning to end I can't help it Im weird that way. However, I feel that if he didn't care about my well being he would try to keep me away from the world. But as he stated people need people which is the reason why people who shut themselves off from the world (aka hermits) commit sucide, this is true for those who don't know how to occupy their time alone. When I'm alone I usually am reading a book at a local bookstore, browsing the internet, exercising, walking the dog or something that allows me to be around a group of people without having to directly socialize.

[fightingspirit]

Aug 2, 2010 22:02:19 GMT -5 peekaboo said:

I'm so glad I came back to SU, I love the support here, and yes I do believe my bf loves me, but I am a very sensitive gal, I critque every word from beginning to end I can't help it Im weird that way. However, I feel that if he didn't care about my well being he would try to keep me away from the world. But as he stated people need people which is the reason why people who shut themselves off from the world (aka hermits) commit sucide, this is true for those who don't know how to occupy their time alone. When I'm alone I usually am reading a book at a local bookstore, browsing the internet, exercising, walking the dog or something that allows me to be around a group of people without having to directly socialize.

People are afraid of those who are in any way different. Outliers are always suspicious as they make people uncomfortable by challenging the stereotypes they've built up in their minds.

[Deleted]

Peekaboo,

From what you wrote I get the feeling your an introvert and your boyfriend is an extrovert.

Most extroverts don't seem capable of understanding why introverts like to live the way we do.

I understand why his comment about you needing more friends would hurt, I really think he was just trying to offer you advice though.

Only advice I can offer is to just be happy being you, it's not easy and often seems impossible, but it's the best thing you can do.

[peekaboo]

Yes he is some what of an extrovert or should I say way more extrovertive than I. thanks