Shy Crush

[nowonder]

Hi guys,
I'm writing my problem here since I just do not know what else to do other than TRYING to forget about this crush - but I just can't manage to.
I've been shy my whole life, but I learnt to deal with it, and worked my way to being "confident". I mean, as soon as the ice is broken - or if the person just looks incredibly friendly, I have no nervousity or talking problem, even tho I still am quite quiet when in groups.
Anyway, I've had this crush on this girl at my school (last year b4 uni) for quite a long time now - about 6 months. We used to tease each other gently few weeks before it all started - and I knew she liked me, but we stopped interacting together afterwards due to being in different classes and having a different schedule so I didn't see her anywhere.
When my crush started, I've been so incredibly nervous that I tend to basicly ignore her whenever I or she passed by - which I know was incredibly stupid - but no matter how hard I tried and got my thoughts together to man up and speak to her or just hold long eye contact - I would fail the following day and auto. turn into this ignoring person again. It went on this way, and when my summer break came, it finally wore off. But seeing her again after the summer vacation got me back in a crush, and I'm getting so incredibly depressed. She shows no interest in me anymore, which I fully understand. No matter how hard I try to dodge her, I still see her every single day somewhere in the school - so I just can't forget her. I've never had such a sick crush before, so I just have no clue of what to do .. . Can anyone help me out ? I've always got the answer to move on, but I just can't.

[fightingspirit]

Aug 19, 2010 11:51:07 GMT -5 nowonder said:

Hi guys,
I'm writing my problem here since I just do not know what else to do other than TRYING to forget about this crush - but I just can't manage to.
I've been shy my whole life, but I learnt to deal with it, and worked my way to being "confident". I mean, as soon as the ice is broken - or if the person just looks incredibly friendly, I have no nervousity or talking problem, even tho I still am quite quiet when in groups.
Anyway, I've had this crush on this girl at my school (last year b4 uni) for quite a long time now - about 6 months. We used to tease each other gently few weeks before it all started - and I knew she liked me, but we stopped interacting together afterwards due to being in different classes and having a different schedule so I didn't see her anywhere.
When my crush started, I've been so incredibly nervous that I tend to basicly ignore her whenever I or she passed by - which I know was incredibly stupid - but no matter how hard I tried and got my thoughts together to man up and speak to her or just hold long eye contact - I would fail the following day and auto. turn into this ignoring person again. It went on this way, and when my summer break came, it finally wore off. But seeing her again after the summer vacation got me back in a crush, and I'm getting so incredibly depressed. She shows no interest in me anymore, which I fully understand. No matter how hard I try to dodge her, I still see her every single day somewhere in the school - so I just can't forget her. I've never had such a sick crush before, so I just have no clue of what to do .. . Can anyone help me out ? I've always got the answer to move on, but I just can't.

I've had my fair share of crushes as well so I know how it feels and how exasperating it is to be almost physically incapable of doing something to advance the situation.

I guess the first question that you need to ask yourself is whether you actually intend to do anything about this girl, meaning that you truly are preparing to approach her and talk to her. If you feel that you can't and you won't then you're better off moving on and taking the time to socialize with other girls whom you're not crushing on and therefore you can interact with in a more leisurely and relaxed atmosphere.

If you are serious about making your feelings known, then my advice would be as follows. You mentioned that you've done some playful teasing to each other so I assume that you're not completely unknown to each other. Maybe you even know a thing or two about her as far as her interests, hobbies, or something going on in her life that you could talk about. If you are in your senior year of school then the most obvious topic is further education - what school does she want to go to and so on.

As far as making an initial approach, I would think that you can do it in a straightforward and honest manner. Just stop her in the hall, preferably when she is alone and say that you've seen her passing through on a number of occasions and you wanted to talk to her a long time ago, but you were always in a rush or she appeared to be busy and it didn't work out. You can also mention that it's good that you've finally managed to get a chance to catch up. You can keep this conversation brief and if she seems to be receptive to talking to you then maybe you can excuse yourself after a few minutes, but ask for her number so you can talk some more at a more opportune time when you're not both between classes.