...whats wrong with me.

[soulelectroluv]

Sometimes, I really get down because of my shyness. I liked this really outgoing guy that I went to school with and my best way of telling him how I felt was through facebook.
I even sent him my # to contact me, but he completely ignores my gestures despite the fact that I was bold enough to even send him my #.
I do not get, why is it when you want something you can't ever have it?
Especially when it comes to being shy, my parents always tell ME to approach guys and they will notice....despite that fact that I'm nice, quiet, smart and I guess attractive.

I rarely find shy guys in my school because even the easy chicks flirt with them and then toss them to the side. I don't approach the shy ones because they are fixated on someone else...I feel like its never going to happen for me.

It seems like I'm never good enough for anyone, I feel so bad about it. My parents even told me, 'hey, they probably think you're stuck up.'
Really, how "stuck up" can I be if I've had it bad when it comes to the opposite sex, I mean I can't walk around carrying my head down, like a guy would even notice anyway.

I just want to experience love and intimacy for once, at lease I could choose the high or low road, like the experience folk.

[Scotty]

There's nothing wrong with you...everyone else just sucks.

Sorry you're feeling down though, I know what it's like to always feel like your invisble to the opposite sex. I've been alone for a long time now...I might be at the might where I have to give up,lol.

Not that I truly belive that. I'm sure I'll find someone oneday, as will you.

[Robe]

Hi, I can relate to some of what you've said. I've never had a relationship before and sometimes I don't feel like I ever will. I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. There's nothing wrong with you and you deserve to experience love and intimacy just as much as anyone else. Hopefully you will when someone gets a chance to know you.

[soulelectroluv]

Nov 19, 2010 23:31:12 GMT -5 Scotty said:

There's nothing wrong with you...everyone else just sucks.

Sorry you're feeling down though, I know what it's like to always feel like your invisble to the opposite sex. I've been alone for a long time now...I might be at the might where I have to give up,lol.

Not that I truly belive that. I'm sure I'll find someone oneday, as will you.

Aw, thanks, lol. I wish I thought of it that way sometimes .

I almost gave up but my people keep telling Its not good to. I just try to have them as friends.

I am just not the type to flirt for the fun of it, I think its a waste of time. I only flirt if I want someone...whats wrong with that....

[soulelectroluv]

Nov 19, 2010 23:34:29 GMT -5 Robe said:

Hi, I can relate to some of what you've said. I've never had a relationship before and sometimes I don't feel like I ever will. I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. There's nothing wrong with you and you deserve to experience love and intimacy just as much as anyone else. Hopefully you will when someone gets a chance to know you.

Thank you so much

[Robe]

Nov 20, 2010 0:17:05 GMT -5 soulelectroluv said:

Nov 19, 2010 23:34:29 GMT -5 Robe said:

Hi, I can relate to some of what you've said. I've never had a relationship before and sometimes I don't feel like I ever will. I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. There's nothing wrong with you and you deserve to experience love and intimacy just as much as anyone else. Hopefully you will when someone gets a chance to know you.

Thank you so much

You're welcome.

[strawberrysweetie]

Nov 19, 2010 2:13:09 GMT -5 soulelectroluv said:

Sometimes, I really get down because of my shyness. I liked this really outgoing guy that I went to school with and my best way of telling him how I felt was through facebook.
I even sent him my # to contact me, but he completely ignores my gestures despite the fact that I was bold enough to even send him my #.
I do not get, why is it when you want something you can't ever have it?
Especially when it comes to being shy, my parents always tell ME to approach guys and they will notice....despite that fact that I'm nice, quiet, smart and I guess attractive.

I rarely find shy guys in my school because even the easy chicks flirt with them and then toss them to the side. I don't approach the shy ones because they are fixated on someone else...I feel like its never going to happen for me.

"You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win".................Love Stinks

Sorry...sometimes I just can't help making a song/movie reference, lol. Your post just reminded me of this. That's a cynical outlook, though. Best to keep in mind that there is definitely someone out there who'll be compatible with you; you just haven't met them yet!

Anyway, I can relate in a way. I'm 23 and have not been in a relationship. Nor dated whatsoever. And actually, I've only ever had one real RL guy friend. So I doubt that'll be changing anytime soon. I've a feeling I'll REALLY, REALLY be freaking out about it when I'm 25 and am in the same position. Which, considering how fast time goes by, is very likely to occur. It's not too far off. :S

But anyway.....it sort of sounds to me you may be on the right path anyway. You've made some sort of effort in pursuing the opposite sex, which is a good thing! It was a brave thing to do, and I admire you for it.

I think the most important thing is to just make yourself available. And no, that doesn't mean you have to throw yourself at every guy. You've got friends at least, right? Try to maintain a social circle. That alone can put you in a decent position, I think. The more people you know, the more likely you are to meet new people through them. And the more people you meet, the better the chance you'll have at meeting someone you'll connect with mutually. You just never know who'll come along.

Shyness does make things more difficult, unfortunately. It keeps the walls up. But, it doesn't have to mean complete doom. Just don't ever try to give up completely. That is never the way to go.

Nov 19, 2010 2:13:09 GMT -5 soulelectroluv said:

It seems like I'm never good enough for anyone, I feel so bad about it.

This pretty much sums me up.

From what I've seen you post so far, though...seems to me you have some things going for you, got some talent there. Continue to pursue your interests and whatnot. Along the way, you'll be sure to find someone who appreciates you for you.

Nov 19, 2010 2:13:09 GMT -5 soulelectroluv said:

My parents even told me, 'hey, they probably think you're stuck up.'
Really, how "stuck up" can I be if I've had it bad when it comes to the opposite sex, I mean I can't walk around carrying my head down, like a guy would even notice anyway.

I don't think it necessarily means you have to go from 'having your nose stuck up in the air' to 'carrying your head down' (either of those things wouldn't be good anyway)......it's just a way to point out how your shyness may appear to others. Your body language and quietness may make you seem unapproachable and that you may seem disinterested. Really frustrating when it becomes automatic out of natural shyness/fear....but being aware of it can be a good thing really...if you notice it, you can definitely try and turn it around.

Nov 20, 2010 0:16:37 GMT -5 soulelectroluv said:

I am just not the type to flirt for the fun of it, I think its a waste of time. I only flirt if I want someone...whats wrong with that....

Is that the advice people are giving you?

Really, I agree with you. I don't really get the point of flirting with guys you're not interested in. And I tend to think not so great things of people who do....it just doesn't look good. And it seems like teasing to me. :S

On the other hand, I was listening to a radio segment about this very thing not so long ago. The point of it being brought up, was that someone made a claim about American girls (generally speaking) being some of the worst flirts. And the person talking was saying how the females just generally take everything way too seriously and should have fun with it. So I guess from that point of view, it's just supposed to be about living in the moment and having a bit of fun...and getting a bit of practice with it, I suppose.

I have to wonder what the majority of guys would think about this, though. Whether they do enjoy such attention from females, even if the females are just playing around with no other intentions. Seems to me it'd be leading someone on, though.

I don't know, it's all confusing to me. I'm fully aware I shouldn't even be trying to give anyone any advice at all, considering my current position in life (so, please take that as a warning), but yeah....just some thoughts from me, should any of it be useful at all.

[soulelectroluv]

Nov 21, 2010 20:52:38 GMT -5 @strawberrysweetie said:

Nov 19, 2010 2:13:09 GMT -5 soulelectroluv said:

Sometimes, I really get down because of my shyness. I liked this really outgoing guy that I went to school with and my best way of telling him how I felt was through facebook.
I even sent him my # to contact me, but he completely ignores my gestures despite the fact that I was bold enough to even send him my #.
I do not get, why is it when you want something you can't ever have it?
Especially when it comes to being shy, my parents always tell ME to approach guys and they will notice....despite that fact that I'm nice, quiet, smart and I guess attractive.

I rarely find shy guys in my school because even the easy chicks flirt with them and then toss them to the side. I don't approach the shy ones because they are fixated on someone else...I feel like its never going to happen for me.

"You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win".................Love Stinks

Sorry...sometimes I just can't help making a song/movie reference, lol. Your post just reminded me of this. That's a cynical outlook, though. Best to keep in mind that there is definitely someone out there who'll be compatible with you; you just haven't met them yet!

Anyway, I can relate in a way. I'm 23 and have not been in a relationship. Nor dated whatsoever. And actually, I've only ever had one real RL guy friend. So I doubt that'll be changing anytime soon. I've a feeling I'll REALLY, REALLY be freaking out about it when I'm 25 and am in the same position. Which, considering how fast time goes by, is very likely to occur. It's not too far off. :S

But anyway.....it sort of sounds to me you may be on the right path anyway. You've made some sort of effort in pursuing the opposite sex, which is a good thing! It was a brave thing to do, and I admire you for it.

I think the most important thing is to just make yourself available. And no, that doesn't mean you have to throw yourself at every guy. You've got friends at least, right? Try to maintain a social circle. That alone can put you in a decent position, I think. The more people you know, the more likely you are to meet new people through them. And the more people you meet, the better the chance you'll have at meeting someone you'll connect with mutually. You just never know who'll come along.

Shyness does make things more difficult, unfortunately. It keeps the walls up. But, it doesn't have to mean complete doom. Just don't ever try to give up completely. That is never the way to go.




This pretty much sums me up.

From what I've seen you post so far, though...seems to me you have some things going for you, got some talent there. Continue to pursue your interests and whatnot. Along the way, you'll be sure to find someone who appreciates you for you.



I don't think it necessarily means you have to go from 'having your nose stuck up in the air' to 'carrying your head down' (either of those things wouldn't be good anyway)......it's just a way to point out how your shyness may appear to others. Your body language and quietness may make you seem unapproachable and that you may seem disinterested. Really frustrating when it becomes automatic out of natural shyness/fear....but being aware of it can be a good thing really...if you notice it, you can definitely try and turn it around.

Nov 20, 2010 0:16:37 GMT -5 soulelectroluv said:

I am just not the type to flirt for the fun of it, I think its a waste of time. I only flirt if I want someone...whats wrong with that....

Is that the advice people are giving you?

Really, I agree with you. I don't really get the point of flirting with guys you're not interested in. And I tend to think not so great things of people who do....it just doesn't look good. And it seems like teasing to me. :S

On the other hand, I was listening to a radio segment about this very thing not so long ago. The point of it being brought up, was that someone made a claim about American girls (generally speaking) being some of the worst flirts. And the person talking was saying how the females just generally take everything way too seriously and should have fun with it. So I guess from that point of view, it's just supposed to be about living in the moment and having a bit of fun...and getting a bit of practice with it, I suppose.

I have to wonder what the majority of guys would think about this, though. Whether they do enjoy such attention from females, even if the females are just playing around with no other intentions. Seems to me it'd be leading someone on, though.

I don't know, it's all confusing to me. I'm fully aware I shouldn't even be trying to give anyone any advice at all, considering my current position in life (so, please take that as a warning), but yeah....just some thoughts from me, should any of it be useful at all.

Lol@ the song...I thought I was the only one who did that. I post a theme song everyday on my facebook to express how I feel.

Yes, that is true. Even when I start to express my interest they get offended and ignore me. It is not like I'm being shy intentially...I even told this guy that I kept texting back and forth that I'm shy. He gets mad because I'm always texting him..even though I just told him that I'm shy. I found out it is better to let people know in the beginning that I'm a shy person and they choose to stay in my life or not.

It sometimes make me feel so bad, if I feel the need I do cry because I just want someone I like to give me a chance.
The older (usually married) crowd tell me to appreciate the fact that I don't have to worry about kids, bills, relationship, etc.

Its like of-course-the-hell I don't because no one will give me a chance with them.

I rarely pursue them unless its as a friend or I see them often where I have a reason to talk to them.

Thanks for the comment about talent.
The guys in college like a more independent girl though, nothing wrong with that, its just that I don't have my own car or much to worry about.
Its not like I'm dependent but of course I'm still home until I transfer to a college...I think there's nothing wrong with wanting someone independent but while I'm in college I don't want to waste much money if the necessities are around for me.

I don't know, I do feel like a "child" because of it sometimes. My parents are extremely overprotective, my mother scared me into not driving, saying she was afriad I'd get hurt badly, yadda yadda.
And they don't like me going out much, because ppl seem to think I'm stuck...I don't have many friends.

Girls don't like me, guys don't like me (at lease not the ones I really want).