I blush easily

[Outcast]

I hate it when i can't control myself. One of those instances is when i blush in front of people. Just recently, i was teased by this girl (who was this sales representative from one of our suppliers) i barely know her but i've seen her drop by the office a few times.

It happened while i was eating lunch with my co-workers, she was also invited to have lunch there with us since she's friends with a few co-workers. While they were talking, she then mentioned she was looking for another co-worker (let's call him "Jake") who i assumed she had talked to by phone. Now Jake was also there eating lunch with us, and i think they were about to point him out to the girl, when all of sudden the girl said she thought I was Jake. I was certainly surprised by that attention, and then the people there started to tease us. Trying to make something out of it. My office workers stated i was single and available. Then the girl went for the ride and jokingly showed me her hands saying she was also available. The teasing continued and i could feel my head start to warm up. I knew i was starting to blushing but i didn't know how i could keep it under control and hide it. My office workers started noticing it and pointed it out for others to notice while they continued on with their teasing. I didn't know what to say, or how to handle the situation. I just smiled a few times i guess. Just to play along. I didn't say anything and after i've finished my lunch left them. I'm not sure if i had handled that situation correctly. Part of me feels, that i may have been rude for not speaking to them, since they did try to talk to me or at least tried to get me to talk i guess. While another part of me feels that they were just joking around and i just happened to be a part of it, so no big deal.

I didn't expect anything after that. But the week after that, the girl dropped by the office again ( i heard she regularly drops by the office once a week ). I went up to have my regular lunch with my co-workers, went inside the toilet to wash my hands. I knew the girl was still busy talking to someone down at the office, so i was not really expecting anything. So while i was washing my hands, i heard my name being mentioned by one of my office mates. They were looking for me. So i came out to see why. What's up and all. Then i was surprised to see the girl there again. For my co-workers to tease me with again...

I just wish i could control it. So people won't easily be able to tease me with it. In any case, this blushing thing makes me feel really pathetic.

[Crashtastic]

My initial thought when reading this is that it is probably them just joking and you happened to be part of it. If they act like adults, I doubt that it is ill intentioned. I would hope that if they knew that it caused you to feel bad that they wouldn't be doing it. That's how people should act at work (ahem and in general ) lol Even if they were just being rude and I were you, I wouldn't even bother to care. but I just think they were teasing in a playful way. There are two possible solutions I can think of if it continues and still bothers you. You can find a way to say something about it or make it clear you don't like it...in a professional way of course lol. Or let it go and find a way to brush it off...joking back helps. I know that can be hard. I myself can't always think what to say lol then I beat myself up, but I've kinda learned to just say oh well and move on. Nobody is perfect lol The only other outcome is that it continues and you continue to feel bad. I could be wrong but that's my take!

The blushing part. That I think would take work with learning ways to cope with the anxiety that's causing you to blush. Its pretty much recognizing when it happens and the thoughts that you're having at the time. Then figuring out ways to combat the negative thoughts. This is just what I've learned from what therapy and the experience I've had. It takes time to learn to do but it does help. I still get anxious, but I think I've improved a lot over the years or at least I'd like to think. I keep trying lol

If you haven't, you should consider going to a therapist that practices cognitive-behavioral therapy. It just makes it easier to sort out with someone who can support you in it.

PS for the record, I would get a little red in the face too lol but I promise you any decent person isn't going to think badly of you for it.

[Outcast]

Thanks for the advice Crashtastic. Yeah I think they were just teasing me in a playful way. Nothing rude about it. It's just a little bothersome in a sense that it kinda puts me on the spot or puts some pressure on me when they tease me like that. I wish i could act a little bit cooler/relaxed in these situations. All i could really do is just smile/laugh with them.

I'll see if i can control the blushing part though. I think it's just me thinking too much and being too self conscious again. I tried a quick google search just now and found some tips on how i could control it.

Like this one:

1.Stop caring. Most people either find blushing to be cute or don't notice it at all. And if you stop caring about your random red times, you'll have fewer of them. Basically, being less tense creates fewer signs of tension. If you learn to be more relaxed and care less what people think of your blushing, you won't worry about it anyway, and so there will be much less reason to blush. Besides, it's probably much less noticeable than you think!

2. Don't try to hide it! It will just make it much worse and make you blush more often. Just embrace it. Once you stop trying to cover it up, you'll stop caring and that will really help with NOT blushing.

I think this is what happened. I was too concerned in hiding it so much.

3. Snap out of it. When you do blush, you can quickly fade it out by relaxing your muscles (particularly in your shoulders and neck) and thinking of something else.

4. Imagine jumping in an ice-cold lake. It'll help you cool down and relax you a bit.

5. Imagine people in their underwear. For some odd reason this old trick is sure to work! It makes you feel like everyone else is human and you're not the only one who makes mistakes. It can also bring on a smile!

Yeah, I could probably try thinking of something else. But i think they might notice i'm not listening anymore or daydreaming. That would make me kinda rude.

While imagining underwear...i dunno if that'll work. Could be worth a try though who knows, maybe it will actually work.

On seeing a therapist, i know i probably should. I took a test online and was shocked to read that i have several social anxiety disorders. Thinking about it, i recalled going frequently to our guidance counsellor when i was in high school. Our guidance counsellor was a priest. I visited and talked to him pretty often. But in the end, he kinda grew tired of me. So i don't know if anyone can help me at this point. I guess i'm just pretty stubborn.

Nov 19, 2012 22:03:39 GMT -5 Crashtastic said:

PS for the record, I would get a little red in the face too lol but I promise you any decent person isn't going to think badly of you for it.

Thanks. Still maybe if it was a guy's point of view... maybe it will be different. Some guys would probably think the blushing part as being....wimpy? But i know these kinds of thing do happen.