Post by robini123 on Dec 15, 2012 15:45:03 GMT -5
Until recently I suffered from what I call ugly duckling syndrome. As a teenager I was shorter than all the popular boys and I weighed 100 lbs. soaking wet... the consummate 98 lbs. weakling. Now I am much older, 6'4" 215 lbs, long hair... and until 2010 I still saw myself as that little kid that was scared of his own shadow.
I had been bumbling through life with a severely distorted self image that was perpetually stuck in the past. What snapped me out of it was when I started dating again after my first marriage failed. What came as a profound shock to me was that I had no problem attracting women! This left me confused but at the same time elated.
I dated a politician, a business woman who made way over 6 figures a year, another woman who made a very good living as a small business owner, and other assorted women... but in the end I fell in love with a shy Canadian woman and I am now happier than I have ever been.
But how is it a shy dork like me could attract such powerful women like a politician and business owners? The answer is that I am no longer that kid... even though I saw myself that way, others did not. What others saw was this big tall long haired Heavy Metal guitarist... far removed from the kid scared of his own shadow!
As I met women I started to see that they were all just as insecure as I was. Each trying to hide their insecurity behind a wall of confidence. Men are the same way ladies... we all hide our weakness to one degree or another. In a mans world weakness is an open invitation to persecution for some. So men learn to put up that wall of confidence to hide their rampant insecurities. If any man says different they are lying to you or worse to themselves. If you lack any and all insecurities then you are probably a sociopath and have way worse problems.
My point is, do not make the mistakes that I have made, dooming yourself to decades of crushing insecurities. I now see that in time we change, for better or worse... but in seeing this we can choose to better our self rather than being caught in the self destructive rut of insecurity and debilitating shyness.
We are our own worse enemy.
P.S. I have posted a pic of myself on the "Post your picture thread?" in the General board if you want to see how I look today.
I had been bumbling through life with a severely distorted self image that was perpetually stuck in the past. What snapped me out of it was when I started dating again after my first marriage failed. What came as a profound shock to me was that I had no problem attracting women! This left me confused but at the same time elated.
I dated a politician, a business woman who made way over 6 figures a year, another woman who made a very good living as a small business owner, and other assorted women... but in the end I fell in love with a shy Canadian woman and I am now happier than I have ever been.
But how is it a shy dork like me could attract such powerful women like a politician and business owners? The answer is that I am no longer that kid... even though I saw myself that way, others did not. What others saw was this big tall long haired Heavy Metal guitarist... far removed from the kid scared of his own shadow!
As I met women I started to see that they were all just as insecure as I was. Each trying to hide their insecurity behind a wall of confidence. Men are the same way ladies... we all hide our weakness to one degree or another. In a mans world weakness is an open invitation to persecution for some. So men learn to put up that wall of confidence to hide their rampant insecurities. If any man says different they are lying to you or worse to themselves. If you lack any and all insecurities then you are probably a sociopath and have way worse problems.
My point is, do not make the mistakes that I have made, dooming yourself to decades of crushing insecurities. I now see that in time we change, for better or worse... but in seeing this we can choose to better our self rather than being caught in the self destructive rut of insecurity and debilitating shyness.
We are our own worse enemy.
P.S. I have posted a pic of myself on the "Post your picture thread?" in the General board if you want to see how I look today.
