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Friends
Apr 20, 2013 10:11:17 GMT -5
Post by missklew on Apr 20, 2013 10:11:17 GMT -5
What makes a friend a friend?
I wonder why even after being on this board for so many years I haven't really gotten close to anyone here?
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Friends
Apr 20, 2013 19:25:51 GMT -5
Post by Crashtastic on Apr 20, 2013 19:25:51 GMT -5
I for one am incredibly avoidant. It's a wonder to me that I have one friend lol I'm not sure I even know how to make friends anymore. The whole friend making process scares me for reasons i don't understand. My personal definition of what a real friend is, is someone who will have you as you are...or in spite of who you are at times lol Also someone who you feel safe around. Someone who wants the best for you rather than just concern for being better than you. I figure a friend is someone who has love for you. But I'm certainly no expert
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Friends
Apr 21, 2013 3:31:56 GMT -5
Post by missklew on Apr 21, 2013 3:31:56 GMT -5
yeah i agree. i am pretty avoidant too i suppose.
people say i am hard to get to know.
it is good you have a friend.
other than my husband and family, I really don't have any friends.
Sure there are people I can have an occasional email conversation with but I suppose that is more acquaintance thing.
what brought this up is going back through old emails and seeing how one sided my attempts at friendship were.
I would ask about the other person and take an interest in what they were doing but not once did they ask how I was. They would just send me jokes or cat photos.
I saw one email that pissed me off as I had written to a sister telling her my ex husband had died and she wrote back.
yeah we know. so and so told me.
that was all she said. No, I'm sorry to hear that or anything.
there were people I knew from high school that added me to their fb but never made any contact with me nor answered any of my messages to them. I posted on their page, sent them a message and no reply.
why bother adding me if you aren't ever going to even acknowledge I exist.
another person who I had known for 30 years started making snarky comments on my page.
I said something about my mother being in the hospital and he said you mean she hasn't died yet.
then they asked me what was wrong with her
and I said and they responded well shit happens.
I mean who needs that snarky rude shit from a supposed friend.
that is the thing i suppose; they really aren't my friend.
because if they were, they would make a tiny effort to contribute to the relationship and keep it going.
they post happy or sad news and I always comment.
I post happy or sad news, they ignore it or make so mean comment like what I gave examples of above.
do you have people treat you like that?
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Friends
Apr 21, 2013 13:49:32 GMT -5
Post by Grayback on Apr 21, 2013 13:49:32 GMT -5
That's an interesting question missklew and one I often wondered about myself. For me, a real friend is first and foremost something rare and if you do happen to have one, you are a lucky person indeed. It's somebody you can count on whether something good or bad happens to you, someone that doesn't abandon you when you are in serious trouble in your life ( be it money, health or otherwise ). It's also someone that should be honest with you in all cases, telling you when they think you made a mistake or had a poor judgment or whatever else you happen to do that they disagree with.
Do I have a friend like that ? Not in real life but on this forum I think I can safely say that I can count Karen as a real friend ( or at least as real as online friendship allows ) and I am glad and thankful for that. As for Facebook, well, I can't really be objective about that since I've never registered on it and I hope to whatever deity ( if any ) that exists that I'll never be forced to do so, it's just something that I don't feel I want to be a part of.
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Friends
Apr 21, 2013 20:31:34 GMT -5
Post by Karen on Apr 21, 2013 20:31:34 GMT -5
Aww thanks Grayback, I definitely count you as a dear friend.
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cilantro
New Member
Just a little kick!
Posts: 17
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Friends
Apr 24, 2013 2:14:19 GMT -5
Post by cilantro on Apr 24, 2013 2:14:19 GMT -5
I consider anyone I feel like I can talk to, trust, and respect a friend. My close friends are precious and rare, but it's not a term I'm stingy with.
Forum friendships seem to be a mixture of chance and exposure to me.
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Friends
Apr 26, 2013 21:30:37 GMT -5
Post by jwn57030 on Apr 26, 2013 21:30:37 GMT -5
Well said. I think you defined it perfectly.
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