Do you ever just get sick of it all

[missklew]

I don't know how I end up in these situations but I always feel like I have to solve everyone's problems.

This same thing happens over and over and I just get tired. For once I wish someone else would take the lead.

Nobody helps me with anything. If I need to find something out, I have to do it myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am a damn wikipedia or google.

For example, what time is it? I feel like saying how the fuck do I know? What's on tv tonight? Why would I know this?

What is this city next to? Umm I am not a flipping map.

I warn daughter not to run off with this guy she just met but of course I am the dummy and she is in love and she marries the guy and has a baby with him. I told her to wait six months. She finds out he is a drug addict deadbeat who won't work and so she left him and she went back and left him and went back and I gave her money and her grandma gave her money to leave him and what does she do, go right back to him and spend the money. I told her to save any money to get a car. What does she do? Spemd it on skydiving and is broke and has no car. So she calls me up saying the grandson is in serious trouble because of the creeps ex wife. I mean I told her to leave that violent deadbeat before something happens but does she listen no.

So now that something has happened, I am supposed to drop everything and fix it.

Same with the son. He gets some money. I tell him to pay for his car and other bills and each time I talk to him I tell him to save some money back and then he calls me up and tells me he is broke. He didn't pay his car off or his other bills. He keeps calling me wanting me to do something. What give him more money to waste? I don't think so.

Why am I supposed to solve these adult's problems? I am not.

Then husband seems to just deliberately not do what he is supposed to do and then he blames me.

We first move here. I say don't you think you should cut the grass. He doesn't do it. A while later, I mention the yard. I say the longer you wait, the worse it will be. He ignores me. So now it is way over grown and the owners of the house are coming over this weekend. He has had more than 2 weeks and waits until now to get started.

Same with learning to drive or applying for jobs. Have you looked? Have you studied? no. Just sits around watching tv and surfing the net.

But see when he wants me to do something like print something out for him or drive him somewhere, I am just supposed to jump but the least little thing I want, he makes damn sure not to do it.

I don't want to be in charge. I don't want to have to do every damn thing while others sit around. Nobody does a damn thing for me every. I'm sick of it.

[Sweet Pea]

Aug 28, 2013 2:01:27 GMT -5 missklew said:

I don't know how I end up in these situations but I always feel like I have to solve everyone's problems.

This same thing happens over and over and I just get tired. For once I wish someone else would take the lead.

Nobody helps me with anything. If I need to find something out, I have to do it myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am a damn wikipedia or google.

For example, what time is it? I feel like saying how the fuck do I know? What's on tv tonight? Why would I know this?

What is this city next to? Umm I am not a flipping map.

I warn daughter not to run off with this guy she just met but of course I am the dummy and she is in love and she marries the guy and has a baby with him. I told her to wait six months. She finds out he is a drug addict deadbeat who won't work and so she left him and she went back and left him and went back and I gave her money and her grandma gave her money to leave him and what does she do, go right back to him and spend the money. I told her to save any money to get a car. What does she do? Spemd it on skydiving and is broke and has no car. So she calls me up saying the grandson is in serious trouble because of the creeps ex wife. I mean I told her to leave that violent deadbeat before something happens but does she listen no.

So now that something has happened, I am supposed to drop everything and fix it.

Same with the son. He gets some money. I tell him to pay for his car and other bills and each time I talk to him I tell him to save some money back and then he calls me up and tells me he is broke. He didn't pay his car off or his other bills. He keeps calling me wanting me to do something. What give him more money to waste? I don't think so.

Why am I supposed to solve these adult's problems? I am not.

Then husband seems to just deliberately not do what he is supposed to do and then he blames me.

We first move here. I say don't you think you should cut the grass. He doesn't do it. A while later, I mention the yard. I say the longer you wait, the worse it will be. He ignores me. So now it is way over grown and the owners of the house are coming over this weekend. He has had more than 2 weeks and waits until now to get started.

Same with learning to drive or applying for jobs. Have you looked? Have you studied? no. Just sits around watching tv and surfing the net.

But see when he wants me to do something like print something out for him or drive him somewhere, I am just supposed to jump but the least little thing I want, he makes damn sure not to do it.

I don't want to be in charge. I don't want to have to do every damn thing while others sit around. Nobody does a damn thing for me every. I'm sick of it.

go on a luxury vacation by yourself and pamper yourself. leave them all to sort their own crap out.

[Farouche]

I don't know how I end up in these situations but I always feel like I have to solve everyone's problems.

This same thing happens over and over and I just get tired. For once I wish someone else would take the lead.

Nobody helps me with anything. If I need to find something out, I have to do it myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am a damn wikipedia or google.

For example, what time is it? I feel like saying how the fuck do I know? What's on tv tonight? Why would I know this?

What is this city next to? Umm I am not a flipping map.

If you start giving them wrong answer, maybe they'll stop asking!  That's the downside of reliability... People start relying on you. 

My mom used to get annoyed when people asked her this sort of question (less so nowadays, however). I think the issue, in her case, is that she does tend to feel responsible for answering, even when she doesn't want to. My dad, on the other hand, seems to feel no obligation to answer at all, although he will if he can. If he has no answer and you keep asking, you get a gallic shrug. If you're upset that he doesn't have an answer, you get his sympathy, and that's it.

I came across this article when I was looking for an image of a "gallic shrug." I like the part about how it's more a state of mind than a gesture (though I think the gesture helps). "It's not my problem."

I warn daughter not to run off with this guy she just met but of course I am the dummy and she is in love and she marries the guy and has a baby with him. I told her to wait six months. She finds out he is a drug addict deadbeat who won't work and so she left him and she went back and left him and went back and I gave her money and her grandma gave her money to leave him and what does she do, go right back to him and spend the money. I told her to save any money to get a car. What does she do? Spemd it on skydiving and is broke and has no car. So she calls me up saying the grandson is in serious trouble because of the creeps ex wife. I mean I told her to leave that violent deadbeat before something happens but does she listen no.

So now that something has happened, I am supposed to drop everything and fix it.

Same with the son. He gets some money. I tell him to pay for his car and other bills and each time I talk to him I tell him to save some money back and then he calls me up and tells me he is broke. He didn't pay his car off or his other bills. He keeps calling me wanting me to do something. What give him more money to waste? I don't think so.

Why am I supposed to solve these adult's problems? I am not.

Yikes. Yeah, definitely not your responsibility. And you've already pretty much proved that's it's not possible for you to solve their problems: money and sympathy do not work. Might as well hold onto the money and hope for the best.

Then husband seems to just deliberately not do what he is supposed to do and then he blames me. [...] Same with learning to drive or applying for jobs. Have you looked? Have you studied? no. Just sits around watching tv and surfing the net.

But see when he wants me to do something like print something out for him or drive him somewhere, I am just supposed to jump but the least little thing I want, he makes damn sure not to do it.

Although job-hunting and driving do suck, it's definitely not fair to you that he's not doing anything to help himself.

[Zoe]

Hi Missklew, If it is possible, i really think you need some time out for yourself and have your family members take responsibility of their own lives so you can recharge. I hope things has changed slightly for the better since the last time you posted *Hugs*

[robinrenee]

What a great thread. I'm a psychologist, trained to hear problems, you can get overwhelming if you don't appreciate friends turn to you because you offer help nobody else can.

People meant to be psychologists often don't recognize their own talent. I didn't. Was so shy that friends made fun of me. Friends didn't realize I was deeper in private than they imagined me in public.

Nobody in my public life knows what an amazing psychologist I am to my patients.

Robin