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Post by Stranger on Sept 2, 2013 22:17:02 GMT -5
My reasons for not wanting to get married is, it doesn't mean anything to me, it doesn't make sense to me, if you are in love, then thats it, end of story, the two of you are a couple, why do you need a church and a vicar to confirm it, and who is a vicar to do this for you anyway. (i'm not religious) There are non-religious reasons for marriage too, including very practical, legal ones. If it didn't mean anything to you, but did mean something / a lot to your dream partner, would you not consider it? A big part of a relationship is compromise - not to the extent it makes one or the other unhappy, but just bending a little to give something to the other. Completely your choice of course; just trying to help widen your dating pool.
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Post by disturbed on Sept 3, 2013 8:42:59 GMT -5
Thanks Stranger, I've thought about this before, i suppose marriage isn't something I'm seriously against, i maybe would consider it for my dream partner, just wondering could you tell me what are the practical, legal reasons, i guess i don't know much about that part of marriage, i just see marriage as religious, not that i'm against people that follow religion, i just don't follow it myself, so what are the benefits of marriage, what does it do for your love life? i thought getting married is something to do with how much you love each other, to make your love more stronger or something, so wouldn't getting married for legal reasons be wrong or fake?
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Post by skyhint on Sept 3, 2013 12:21:59 GMT -5
Thanks Stranger, I've thought about this before, i suppose marriage isn't something I'm seriously against, i maybe would consider it for my dream partner, just wondering could you tell me what are the practical, legal reasons, i guess i don't know much about that part of marriage, i just see marriage as religious, not that i'm against people that follow religion, i just don't follow it myself, so what are the benefits of marriage, what does it do for your love life? i thought getting married is something to do with how much you love each other, to make your love more stronger or something, so wouldn't getting married for legal reasons be wrong or fake? If you are married you can file your taxes jointlly which saves money. You can share emmployee insurance benefits which savea money on medical expences. Marriage didnt change how much I love my guy. Its not magic
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Post by StarFall on Sept 3, 2013 14:55:25 GMT -5
Thanks Stranger, I've thought about this before, i suppose marriage isn't something I'm seriously against, i maybe would consider it for my dream partner, just wondering could you tell me what are the practical, legal reasons, i guess i don't know much about that part of marriage, i just see marriage as religious, not that i'm against people that follow religion, i just don't follow it myself, so what are the benefits of marriage, what does it do for your love life? i thought getting married is something to do with how much you love each other, to make your love more stronger or something, so wouldn't getting married for legal reasons be wrong or fake? If you are not married and your partner is seriously injured their family (or the doctors) can bar you from contact with your partner while they are in the hospital. Also, if you are not married and your partner dies their family members are considered their heirs and can prevent you from inheriting or collecting any payouts/benefits. Not sure how this works if your partner has made a will designating you heir, but I believe their family can still fight you for it. Or so I've heard. I think getting married for practical reasons doesn't mean your love is fake or wrong. It just means that you would also like the legal benefits that come along with marriage.
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Post by CharlotteGirl on Sept 3, 2013 16:53:13 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for all the replies, opinions and advice, i defiantly don't aim to offend anyone with what i'm about to write, but the reason i don't want kids is because i don't believe it is right to bring new life into this world, what if you give birth do a kid who has a horrible illness, or is disabled, has mental health, or a child who is going to be a victim of rape/bullying, or a child who is going to grow up to be the next Ted Bundy or Adolf Hitler, it is very likely you will give birth to a kid like that, just look at the world, if i had a kid who grew up to be how i use to be i would feel really bad and sorry, and you are likely to take after your parents. My reasons for not wanting to get married is, it doesn't mean anything to me, it doesn't make sense to me, if you are in love, then thats it, end of story, the two of you are a couple, why do you need a church and a vicar to confirm it, and who is a vicar to do this for you anyway. (i'm not religious) Like i said no offence is intended here, everyone to their own. Do you really think it's not right? Of course there may be significant risks for anyone who wants to give birth including them ending up like you, though they'd probably be perfectly normal. But social phobia is not the kind of say, severe learning disability where people perhaps really should perhaps be sterilised to prevent children (cases have been in the news recently). Either you simply do or don't want kids (they will always be stressful/expensive to bring up), but your reasons against are not valid IMHO.
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Post by disturbed on Sept 3, 2013 21:33:06 GMT -5
Yes i do really think its not right, and the reasons i put i think are valid, i don't think anymore people should be bought into this world for the reasons i said, and, i don't want to go to much into politics here but, its not a free world, i believe you are born into slavery, and brainwashed into believing whatever the government says is right and you have to abide by it and conform to it, the world can be a horrible place. Sorry if this sounds bad, its just how i feel, i am a really nice person, love, freedom, and peace for all of us would be brilliant, but it isn't like that for everyone. Another thing i didn't say before, don't kids get in the way, like when you want romance and sex with your partner, when you want to chill out and watch t.v together, go out together, i seriously wouldn't want kids around if i had a partner, it would be like having mates there with you wouldn't it, wouldn't you want them out of the way when you jus want some quality time with your partner.
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Post by Stranger on Sept 3, 2013 21:43:12 GMT -5
Thanks Stranger, I've thought about this before, i suppose marriage isn't something I'm seriously against, i maybe would consider it for my dream partner, just wondering could you tell me what are the practical, legal reasons, i guess i don't know much about that part of marriage, i just see marriage as religious, not that i'm against people that follow religion, i just don't follow it myself, so what are the benefits of marriage, what does it do for your love life? i thought getting married is something to do with how much you love each other, to make your love more stronger or something, so wouldn't getting married for legal reasons be wrong or fake? Guess I've been beaten to the punch about the legal benefits. I don't think there's anything "wrong or fake" about getting married for those reasons, unless maybe if it's the only reason you're doing it. If there's genuine love and intent to be committed to the person, then I think it's absolutely good and normal to tie the knot, be the reasons practical, spiritual, symbolic of your love/commitment, or whatever else.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 4, 2013 0:31:54 GMT -5
how old are you, disturbed? Hi Sweetpea, i'm 25 some people really don't want kids, and that's okay. some people really don't want to get married, and that's okay too. but you are still kinda young by today's standards, so it might be too soon to say what you'll want, say, 5 years from now. a person matures alot between 25 and 30, gains a lot of life experience - and sometimes they change their minds about things like this.
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Post by disturbed on Sept 4, 2013 11:53:36 GMT -5
some people really don't want kids, and that's okay. some people really don't want to get married, and that's okay too. but you are still kinda young by today's standards, so it might be too soon to say what you'll want, say, 5 years from now. a person matures alot between 25 and 30, gains a lot of life experience - and sometimes they change their minds about things like this. Yeah I've thought about this, i might change my mind at some point, who knows ay?
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