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Post by cleo on Mar 3, 2003 16:34:49 GMT -5
I have tried everything to overcome my excruciaating shyness. After being on medication for years and receiving weekly councilling I have come to the conclusion that the best way to deal with it is to accept it. What sort of things have you guys tried?
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Post by Valerie on Mar 3, 2003 20:47:42 GMT -5
I was on Paxil for sometime. It worked wonders. I am not saying drugs are the best route for everyone, but I am on anti-depressants and they work wonders. I think the most you can do is try to overcome it. Don't always hang around with your overbearing friends. hang out with shy people and work on it together.
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Post by brendan on Mar 4, 2003 8:07:44 GMT -5
i am on antidepressants as well anf they do work! Some of the new generation of medications work for depression, anxiety and a lot of other things as well.
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dude
New Member
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Post by dude on Mar 4, 2003 21:14:01 GMT -5
I just started on celexa and haloperidol yesterday and man I do not like it, I feel like a zombie ghost
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Post by Valerie on Mar 5, 2003 22:08:31 GMT -5
You will feel like a zombie until your body gets used to the medicine. Believe me I know. I was on 6 medicines once. Don't stop taking them! It will get better!!!
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Post by unionjackattack86 on Mar 11, 2003 14:27:31 GMT -5
I'm not as shy as most of you but I am shy and to try overcoming it I started a Prince's Trust Volunteers course at college in January of this year. Its a self improvement course and it has helped me alot, its already changed my outlook on life and i'm alot more confident than I was although there's lots of room for improvement. Sometimes I feel pretty confident and willing to do things that challenge me but other times I slip back in to my old ways of thinking, I guess its not something that can be changed overnight though. The course only lasts 12 weeks and i'm on week 9 at the minute so I don't have much time left to change but it has improved me for the better. Id recommend doing it to anyone really who has low self esteem and confidence problems, its not an easy course but you can gain alot from it.
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DAVE
New Member
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Post by DAVE on Mar 11, 2003 18:16:58 GMT -5
well i,ve just bought a book called'overcoming shyness and social phobia',it seems to be pretty well structured with charts that you fill in as you go along.I'm not expecting miracles but it's a step in the right direction even if its just admiting to yourself that your shyness is holding you back.
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Post by Stewpot on Mar 12, 2003 12:25:09 GMT -5
I find the use of humour is helping my shyness.
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Post by NewOrleansLady on Mar 16, 2003 5:40:59 GMT -5
I used to be painfull shy growing up. I remember having to stand up in class to give a report and I was shaking SO bad and my voice was cracking, OMG I was horrified! That was in the 8th grade so I was 13. I have gotten a lot better since than but, I am still shy and probably will always be. I have forced myself to do things until I grew comfortable. I still can't do any public speaking but, I have made a lot of progress.
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Post by unionjackattack86 on Mar 16, 2003 9:25:02 GMT -5
I use to get nervous at school too when we had to give a speech in English, I use to shake and go bright red, and all through the lesson, I wouldn't even be listening to other peoples speeches; I was too nervous, I was just concentrating on when I had to get up there and give one. In three weeks time, my college course finishes and we have a presentation night where each of us has to stand up in the college lecture theatre and give a speech on the last 12 weeks, and i'm terrified. I will do it because i'm not going to let the 12 weeks be a waste and not get a qualification just because I refused to do a speech but It will make me very uncomfortable.
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Paul
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Post by Paul on Mar 17, 2003 0:07:19 GMT -5
I also have done the Princes trust volunteers course like Unionjackattack, it was very difficult at first, just bieng around people my own age so much made me feel like i was getting worse. But i stuck it out and as the course proceeded it got easier i started to get to know the others on the course and at the end i realised that it had helped quite alot. However that was 3 years ago now and during those years i have gotten worse, mainly because i have extreme trouble motivating myself to do anything. But those sort of courses are worth doing as long as u continue to seek ways to overcome youre problems, sadly i didnt and i regret that fact everyday.
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Post by NewOrleansLady on Mar 17, 2003 2:13:12 GMT -5
Good luck on your spech, Union . Let us know how it goes.
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Post by unionjackattack86 on Mar 17, 2003 5:19:14 GMT -5
thanks NewOrleansLady, it should be okay, one of the people whose preparing us for the speech said you can't see the audience anyway as the lights are in your eyes so I guess that won't be as bad, i'll let you know how I get on anyway.
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Post by unionjackattack86 on Mar 17, 2003 5:22:47 GMT -5
In reply to Paul, I think the reason you've got worse is because when your doing the Prince's Trust Course your forced to do challenges and things that you wouldn't normally do and when you do new things, you get more confident but when the course finishes, your not forced to do it anymore therefore you just don't try new things and slip back in to the way you was before. I've been like that during the course, sometimes i'm really confident and other times I go back to my old ways, but once the course is finished i'm going to either try and get a job in a shop maybe or do some voluntary work untill I start college again in September so I can maintain the confidence i've got from the course.
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Post by estella on Mar 17, 2003 8:13:50 GMT -5
i borrowed a book called 'SHYNESS: YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED' BY LYNNE CRAWFORD WHO IS THE FOUNDER OF THE LONDON SHYNESS CENTRE (THERE IS A LONDON SHYNESS CENTRE). THE BOOK IS VERY SYPATHETIC AND DESCRIBES HOW SHY PEOPLE FEEL AND BEHAVE. IT SUGGESTS THERAPIES AND EXCERCISES AND HOMEOPATHIC REMEDIES FOR DIFFERENT EMOTIONS AND TYPES OF SHYNESS. THE BOOK IS SMALL, PAPERBACK, GREEN COVER. COSTS £5.99 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I THINK IT IS A HELPFUL BOOK AND IT CLARIFIES HOW SHY PEOPLE FEEL AND BEHAVE. YOU COULD TRY ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES AND PSCHOLOGICAL THERAPIES. I HAVE READ THAT COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY CAN HELP CHANGE NEGATIVE BELIEFS, NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING CAN HELP RE PROGRAMME THE MIND, SYSTEMATIC DESENTITIZATION WHERE YOU IDENTIFY SITUATIONS THAT CAUSE YOU ANXIETY AND SHYNESS AND YOU PUT THE SITUATIONS IN ORDER OF HOW ANXIOUS AND SHY THEY MAKE YOU FEEL, STARTING AT THE MOST ANXIETY CAUSING SITUATION AND GOING DOWN TO THE LEAST. THEN YOU TRY AND TACKLE THESE SITUATIONS AND TRY AND WORK AT CHANGING THEM AND DEALING WITH THEM. HYPNOTHERAPY CAN HELP YOU OVERCOME FEARS AND PHOBIAS, ANXIETY, SHYNESS, STRESS. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO RELAX - TRY VISUALISATION, YOGA, MEDITATION. SEE A PROFESSIONAL, PRACTITIONER. I AM VERY VERY SHY. I WANT TO GET HELP BUT I DONT KHOW WHERE TO START, WHAT WILL HELP. I DONT SAY ANYTHING TO PEOPLE. AT COLLEGE I GO AROUND ON MY OWN, RESERVED, ALOOF, INTROVERTED, NOT CONNECTING TO PEOPLE. I NEVER TALK TO PEOPLE, INTERACT WITH THEM. I AM SOCIALLY INEXPERIENCED AND INEPT, I HAVE NEVER GONE OUT ON MY OWN OR WITH GROUPS OF PEOPLE. DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE, WHAT TO SAY. AFFIRMATIONS ARE POSITIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SELF, IF YOU KEEP REPEATING THEM, THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO STICK IN YOUR MIND AND TAKE THE PLACE OF NEGATIVE BELIEFS. HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY START TALKING TO PEOPLE? THEY ARE WITH THEIR GROUPS OF FRIENDS. FLOWER ESSENCES OR REMEDIES ARE VERY HELPFUL FOR EMOTIONAL STATES. YOU TAKE 4 DROPS ON THE TONGUE, 4 TIMES A DAY. BACH FLOWER REMEDIES AVAILABLE FROM CHEMISTS. MIMULUS FOR KNOWN FEARS AND SHYNESS, LARCH FOR LACK OF CONFIDENCE, WATER VIOLET FOR ALOOFNESS, FEELING OF SUPERIORITY, INTROVERTED. ASPEN FOR UNKNOWN FEARS EG FEAR OF MONSTERS. DRUGS ONLY MASK THE PROBLEM, THEY DONT SOLVE THE UNDERLYING CAUSE. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE DRUGS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, BE DEPENDENT ON THEM? AND THEY HAVE UNPLEASANT SIDE EFFECTS. ACTION IS REQUIRED. DRAMA AND SINGING MAY HELP YOU COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL. I ENJOY SINGING POP SONGS SO IF I GOT UP ON THE KAREOKE AND SANG, I MAY BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON, I MAY FORGET MY SHYNESS. I AM SHY AT COLLEGE BUT NOT AT HOME. AT HOME I LAUGH OUT LOUD, I SHOUT AT MY MUM AND DAD, I HAVE HOME COMFORTS, I SIT BY A LOVELY ROARING COAL FIRE. I HAVE MY PETS. I CANT BE MOTIVATED TO DO ASSIGNMENTS AT HOME. estella
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