Shy mannerisms.

[Wayne]

I am incredibly shy, I have been my whole life. I cannot claim to having had a friend or a girlfriend, I feel completely isolated. I find that the shyness not only affects the way I speak but everything else. I don't know how to walk normally, I don't know when to make eye contact, I don't know when to smile, I don't know when to laugh, I don't know how to dress, I don't know what hairstyle to have. I just don't have a clue as to what I am supposed to do at certain times.
My question is how do you know how to act, behave? I walk completely different to everyone else, and when I try to walk like everyone else I end up looking worse. I suspect that these things cannot be taught, or can they?

[Sumbody]

Hey, i'm just like you...

I hate the way i walk, talk, act and dress. I always feel stupid in public, it's horrible. I reckon i walk like a stork!, sometimes when im out i become self contious about the way im walkin and it makes it worse!! i really hate people following behind me and often stop to let them pass. It's really really horrible!! i've got a solo talk coming up in 3 weeks, i am dredding the whole thing!!!

[MissAnxiety]

I can relate. I hate going out in public as well, even riding in a car. I try to go, for example, shopping when there's not going to be a lot of people around. I get cranky usually after being in public because I just felt like I was put on display to be poke fun of. I try to almost run when I'm around people because I feel like people are making fun of me all the time...well I just walk fast so I can hurry up and get by people. I don't make eye contact; I never know where to look and I almost start to panic. I always feel that if I do make eye contact, that people will definately make fun of me, or they might think I am staring them down. I have a bad posture due to this insecurity and social anxiety. I can't stand or sit up straight because I feel "silly." Yeah, even walking, dressing, talking, etc. I feel silly too. I've noticed that my conversations are getting worse because I speak with unclear sentences because I get nervous about my appearance, speech, etc.

[cubby]

hiya!
You were saying about people not being able to understand you when you speak, ive got that problem too, if someone asks me something my mind goes completly blank!!.... and that is horrible, i kinda freeze and end up getting my words mixed up in the wrong order, I avoid eye contact as well, when i was at school i used to sit with my head down to avoid eye contact with the teacher incase she asked me a question in front of everyone, i could never concentrate because i was worried sick she was going to ask me something.
Im still like that at work, walking around looking at the floor, dont know what to do around people.

[MissAnxiety]

Cubby,
Yeah! My mind goes completely blank, getting my words mixed up in the wrong order too!
Yeah, I tried avoiding looking at my teachers as well as you did, worried of being called on.
It sucks spending most of your day at a place you still can't be even comfortable with (speaking in reference to work). It really makes me irritable. How does it make you feel by the end of the day? Sometimes I wish I could just run away from work because I feel so uncomfortable. I tend to take paid leave a lot more lately because I don't want to be there.

[Naptaq]

man yeah i can totaly relate to that all stuff.. it sucks big time..
maybe we should get together have a camp or a party or somethin.. lol.. i dunno.. with people like me, maybe it could actualy be fun

[MissAnxiety]

LOL ;D.
That would be interesting to see a bunch of us shy folks get together. Could be very interesting, you never know .

[mind]

I'd be too shy to turn up!

[MissAnxiety]

LOL!

[Naptaq]

don't worry we'll play monopoly

[Just Me]

Hey everyone.

There is nothing wrong with being shy. Let me ask you all something. Has there ever came a time where you just got sick and tired of being the way are, and just said screw it?, I don't care what people think, this is my life, I say what I want to say, I do what I want to do. This way of thnking hit hard not to long ago. It was like a light bulb momment. I consider myself soooooooooo shy. But, I'm not going to let it get to me anymore. I could care less what others think about me now. When I walk out of my house I actually feel good when I think this way. I want all of you to try this. Give yourself about an hour before you leave for school, work, or where ever. Tell yourself all these things. WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THING!!! THIS IS MY LIFE!!! NOT THEIRS!!! I WILL SAY WHAT I WANT!! I WILL DO WANT I WANT!!! IT IS MY LIFE!!!!

One other thing. I hear a lot you talking about how when your out in public you feel like people are making fun of you. Just think everyone else isn't 100% comfortable with themselvs. I have this friend I go to clubs with. He always asks me hey "Brian, do I look ok in this shirt"? "Does this shirt look ok with these pants"? I tell hi all the time, yes you look fine, and don't worry abot what you look like. Chances are when we get into the club no one is going to stare you p and down judging you. They will be thinking the same exact thing about themselves.....Hmmm do I look ok. I wonder what everyone thinks about what I'm wearing..

My point is, ALL humans have a tendency to wonder about themselves. How they look, how they walk, how they comb their hair, how they sound while talking in a coversation. It's LIFE.

I hope in some way that what I've just posted will help someone. It's help me tons. I just don't care anymore what others think. It's a great feeling.

Bye All

[Naptaq]

yea it's a good idea but i dunno.. it's kinda hard 4 me to do so..to not care what anybody thinks of me

[MissAnxiety]

Easy said than done for me . I understand a lot of people worry on how they appear, etc, etc. but there are others like me who have this social anxiety problem and it's more of a serious case. I'm not looking for pity or anything. It's hard to express how I really feel. Believe me I've tried to not worry about what people think, but I just cannot seem to continue to keep not worrying. The funny thing is that I know people aren't perfect, can be ignorant, will make fun of others to make them feel better about themselves , etc, etc, but I just still worry too much of their opinions anyway . I DON'T want to be like this and I am hoping to find help. I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself...I am still succeeding in life even though I have this problem. I wish I could be like you and overcome the shynish, anxiety, or whatever, but I just haven't been able . Well thanks anyway for some words of encourgement.

[Naptaq]

oh man i so agree with you girl..

[mind]

Hey 'just me', i just want to ask if it was really that easy for you, simply to tell yourself 'what the hell' and then go out into the world as a more confident person.

i always have to syke myself up to go out, meet people, apply for a job, ask a teacher a question etc, yet when i get out there and come face to face with the thing i suddenly cower and try to retreat! I simply cant do it, and i'm sure there's tons more people here that have the same prob.

What reaction did you get from friends and other people from the 'new improved you'?