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Post by inkysoftwhispers on Jun 6, 2003 16:20:43 GMT -5
Me too! I don't actually have my own computer though-our uni has humungous comuter clusters which I use. Which is probably best because otherwise I'd be typing away forever,spilling out crazy thoughts...I'm meant to be in the pub right now actually..hah hah
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Post by Mildman1 on Jun 6, 2003 16:25:45 GMT -5
Even when I get to be fairly comfortable with somebody what I say is fairly bitty - I can never tell long anecdotes, because I become incredibly aware of my voice just going on and on.. and getting terribly boring. But I could write forever. I've read similar statistics about body language and voice...certainly explains why speaking on the phone can be so dauntng. Often it's the way you say something that's important, not necessarily what you say, which is a pity.. Also because a lot of us seem to think what we're saying is not interesting, people probably do pick up on that and stop listening as a result. Yep, a lot of it is down to confidence. If you sound excited/enthusiastic about something this can be contagious, like laughter or crying. Often people are most interested in the emotion expressed rather than the words. If someone doesn't think they're interesting not a lot of emotion is going to come through, and what you're left with is something which can sound flat and unexciting to someone else. Self-fulfilling prophecy - don't think I'm interesting therefore I can't sound interesting. The people I'm most uncomfortable with are the extroverts, who burst with confidence. When I'm with this type of person I tend to withdraw, my confidence withers. I much prefer people who have at least an element of shyness. |
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Post by inkysoftwhispers on Jun 6, 2003 17:06:59 GMT -5
That's very true. I've always wanted to take some kind of lessons to be able to speak better. But I cringe at the idea of what they'd make me do.
I most definitely make friends more easily with less extroverted people. They're not so intimidating, and I'm not so worried about what they think of me.But then a few of my closest friends are extremely confident..I don't know if we'd be quite so close if we hadn't been thrown into certain situations though, like having to live in the same flat.
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Post by ASolitarySoul on Jun 7, 2003 20:31:42 GMT -5
Your posts are always interesting. Thanks, but my on-line persona is not NEARLY as adept and articulate as I am In Real Life - If ONLY I could become more like this Solitary Soul guy. If you met me IRL, you would be in for a BIG letdown - it would be most underwhelming to say the least. Hummm... some, but not many, plus my personal life is such a mess that, as a practical matter, I just don’t have much time to have fun. I still have the little matter of resolving my employment situation. You will notice that I come here about once every three or four days. Oh come on now! SURELY there are plenty of long-winded blowhards in the UK, aren’t there? If not, then we need to export some, as we have an overabundance here in the US. <grin> Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/----------------------------------------------------- |
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Post by ASolitarySoul on Jun 7, 2003 20:55:03 GMT -5
Maybe it's just being a social retard, as a result of my shyness that gets in the way of communicating online. There is still pressure, it's just not immediate pressure. And, I don't usually get chatrooms. Not the ones that are just "general", anyway. If the general ones have a game, or some topic, they have been fun. I just don't usually get in any conversations. In a sense, shyness sort of feeds on itself - If the only means that you use is to send written messages, as opposed to verbal communication, then there is no way to improve upon those verbal skills that are so sorely lacking. It’s like a muscle - you have to work it to make it stronger. So, if you keep using your strengths, your strengths get stronger, and your weaknesses get weaker. Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/----------------------------------------------------- |
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Post by Mildman1 on Jun 8, 2003 8:51:59 GMT -5
Thanks, but my on-line persona is not NEARLY as adept and articulate as I am In Real Life - If ONLY I could become more like this Solitary Soul guy. Did you mean to say your Real life persona is not nearly as adept and articulate as you are online? Oh come on now! SURELY there are plenty of long-winded blowhards in the UK, aren’t there? If not, then we need to export some, as we have an overabundance here in the US. <grin> Of course we've got plenty over here, but haven't you heard about English reserve? I think US culture expects people to open up immediately to people you don't know. Proportionally it seems there are far more windbags in the States. ;D |
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Post by Mildman1 on Jun 8, 2003 8:57:02 GMT -5
Hummm... some, but not many, plus my personal life is such a mess that, as a practical matter, I just don’t have much time to have fun. I still have the little matter of resolving my employment situation. You will notice that I come here about once every three or four days. |
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Post by moogle on Jun 8, 2003 9:07:29 GMT -5
Proportionally it seems there are far more windbags in the States. ;D really? do you know the uk's windbag-to-milquetoast ratio?  |
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Post by ASolitarySoul on Jun 8, 2003 9:17:14 GMT -5
You like hunting, don't you. Why not join a club? I would, but with the way things are for me right now, I don’t have the time (see below). Don’t have the time. I was a cattle rancher up until last October (see my website - “Part I: History”). I sold my herd of cattle and I’m living off of the proceeds from the sale of my herd until I can get employed and start generating some income. I graduated from the University of Houston with a degree in Computer Science in the late 1980's, but I haven’t been keeping up (explained at my website). I know someone who is starting up a business venture installing computerized x-ray equipment, and has asked me if I want to get involved. He needs a computer technician, so I’m reading a bunch of books trying to get caught up to fill the role - and, like I said: I have A LOT of catching up to do.  ... but I think this is the only shot I have to get employment doing something that is computer-related, seeing the employment situation is as bad as it is - I have serious doubts that I could get anything in the way of software development anytime soon. I have a few other options that I expounded upon in a thread in alt.support.shyness: tinyurl.com/drndSolitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/----------------------------------------------------- |
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Post by ASolitarySoul on Jun 8, 2003 9:36:32 GMT -5
Did you mean to say your Real life persona is not nearly as adept and articulate as you are online? (*slaps forehead*) D’oh! ... and my on-line persona screws up sometimes, so you can imagine what I’m like IRL! Yes, and I also think that is a big reason why the English are a better class of people. They are certainly more dignified. I also think that English reserve fosters the shyness element. I’ve noticed that in here (as well as in A.S.S.), a large percentage of the posters are in the UK. I always liked listening to people talk with British accents - it sounds so classy. Maybe I should move to the UK and see if I can get me a British girl ... a shy British girl ... yeah!  It seems that way because there are. Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/----------------------------------------------------- |
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Post by Mildman1 on Jun 8, 2003 13:42:06 GMT -5
Yes, and I also think that is a big reason why the English are a better class of people. They are certainly more dignified. You've never seen the English abroad! We've got a very bad reputation in Europe for drunken behaviour - maybe it's because we're so shy? We need to get pissed just to open up, and then we can't control ourselves. Ours is much more of an alcohol culture than yours. Maybe I should move to the UK and see if I can get me a British girl ... a shy British girl ... yeah! I'd wish you good luck - it ain't that easy. |
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Post by Jarous on Feb 15, 2004 3:17:53 GMT -5
You've never seen the English abroad! We've got a very bad reputation in Europe for drunken behaviour You can't top the Czech. We have recently surpassed the Germans in beer consumption (not that I had contributed to it). I don't think it has somethink to do with shyness though. |
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Post by Shypuppy17 on Feb 21, 2004 14:20:05 GMT -5
:)I is easier to express yourself through writing.
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