Tips on starting a relationship

[Astroruss]

carboncopy said:

lennythegiant said:

lennythegiant said:

Maybe you think that this whole "it's the inside that counts" is a punch of PC crap, but there is a whole lot of truth to it. Yes, someone's physical attractiveness can be a first impression, but there's a whole lot more to being date-able or likable than that. There are times when people say "why is she going out with him?" or vice versa. It's because they realized something they really liked about that person, and it went beyond how they looked.

I have yet to see someone sexually captivated by someone else's mind... honestly - if that was the case then I would have to be married to my male friends who are some of the smartest people I've ever met. There is an inherent need for attraction that simply cannot be discarded. I see that you are in a stage where you are just trying to please everyone with politically correct statements, but if you do a little genuine introspection you will find them to be pretty far from reality.

Then you've seen a very small fraction of humanity, dude. Get out into the world and away from the internet for a while.

Looks matter in a relationship, at least at first. But then, when people get older and their hair grays and their skin worsens and they lose their figure, what then?

No, people learn to respect and appreciate their partner in life primarily through their mind; their likes and dislikes, activities, fears, experiences, commonalities of interest, etc. The other person becomes a valued companion, while sex and sexual attraction remain as a portion of the relationship, not the whole.

[annaa]

carboncopy said:

annaa said:

Part of my soul is dying. Priceless, that really is.

Why?? Is it also dying for men who were born 2 inches of vertical height too short to be taken seriously by women? Tell me that it is and I'll hug you.

I'm not a short man. I can't really tell you.
a? is right. You're probably not perfect.

*I've deleted my post about how woman stay fat for security. It was obviously too much for the narrow-minded folk who are making the "girls should be average weight at least" comments to handle.

[strawberrysweetie]

carboncopy said:

Those are guys who either have let their standards very low, or they have a fat fetish, which is usually not tied to the entire body anyway, but related to breasts or the rear section.

hmm...Through your eyes, you can't see another man being attracted to an overweight woman because as a man *you* don't find it attractive. Why does it have to be considered a "fetish"? That's your opinion. Believe it yourself or not....I do think there are some men out there who are truly more attracted to overweight women...just because they find it attractive. Though, I think this portion of men is rather small...it still exists whether you care or believe it to be true.

carboncopy said:

One thing that I am surprised at (in this thread and other observations) is that women seem to categorically deny that men might prefer thin or at least proportional women.

Wow...great observation. You obviously selectively pick out what is said to fit your already deep seated beliefs. You are very wrong in generalizing women like that.

For example....(something I said earlier)......

strawberrysweetie said:

He might just like petite women. ........................................ He was just making a general statement indicating that he prefers a slimmer figure...and he's assuming a smaller figure would fall within this range.

And as for lsdima (a.k.a. "Mr.Nice" ).....you just keep trying to reword what you said in a way that you think will make you look better....trying to confuse people. It's obvious what you said and meant. You've dug your hole. Perhaps you should just stop digging it deeper.

This is all just getting ridiculous now.

[annaa]

I agree. It is ridiculous now. Shut up or else i'll post a photo of my fat ass.
That'll burn your eyes.

[phoenixferret]

annaa said:

carboncopy said:

There are some people who have illnesses that make them obese. One can do nothing, but feel sorry for them... In most cases that is not the reason though...

Part of my soul is dying. Priceless, that really is.
I wonder if people will shag me or flirt with me out of sympathy?

superruss said:

...Well, guys/gals like that proliferate like insects. They buzz around others trying to suck the lifeblood out of people because that's their evolved form of nutrition.

You've just reminded me of some shamanic healing I had a while back.... that's a good thing (for me, anyway).

Lol, I prefer this one:

carboncopy said:

I have yet to see someone sexually captivated by someone else's mind... honestly - if that was the case then I would have to be married to my male friends who are some of the smartest people I've ever met.

Ahhhh... Trust me Anna--this is NOT representative of the way guys in general are.

[carboncopy]

superruss said:

Then you've seen a very small fraction of humanity, dude. Get out into the world and away from the internet for a while.

Looks matter in a relationship, at least at first. But then, when people get older and their hair grays and their skin worsens and they lose their figure, what then?

No, people learn to respect and appreciate their partner in life primarily through their mind; their likes and dislikes, activities, fears, experiences, commonalities of interest, etc. The other person becomes a valued companion, while sex and sexual attraction remain as a portion of the relationship, not the whole.

You are set and ready to go. Just ask out the 85 year old accross the street and you've met the love of your life. Barring that, go on any personals website and respond to ads from 50 something old women. You will be a hot commodity in that category as they are ready for young guys like you. You will get more nookie than your able body can handle. Other than that - just be reasonable.

[annaa]

Getting my camera...

[pnoopiepnats]

I think making fun of fat people is one of the last socially acceptable discrimination we have in our society.

Nobody would dare post the same types of comments about certain ethnic groups. Sure they make think it, but they don't dare say it or try to make people feel bad.


I really think that overweight people can and do feel good about themselves as they are but there are the assholes of society that simply won't allow them to be. People get made fun of and treated like shit for being overweight.

One example was the awards where Britney Spears was singing live and wearing this little bikini thing and it was all over the papers how "fat" she was and people making fun of her. I bet she was all of a size 8 or 10 that day and surely the hell not fat.

[pnoopiepnats]

carboncopy said:

You are set and ready to go. Just ask out the 85 year old accross the street and you've met the love of your life. Barring that, go on any personals website and respond to ads from 50 something old women. You will be a hot commodity in that category as they are ready for young guys like you. You will get more nookie than your able body can handle. Other than that - just be reasonable.

And I bet you are alone.

[carboncopy]

annaa said:

I agree. It is ridiculous now. Shut up or else i'll post a photo of my fat ass.
That'll burn your eyes.

You are obviously insecure about your weight. Why is it such a problem to acknowledge that men are attracted to women of proportional weight? They don't have to be razor thin, just within reasonable range. That applies to men being attractive to women as well.

I am sure that if you would get in decent physical shape then you would have throngs of men clamoring for your attention and you would never visit this website again.

[theinfiniteabyss84]

Wow...

I am beginning to think that Lsdima and CarbonCopy are the same person...or a scientific experiement gone horribly awry.

It's just way to uncanny.

[strawberrysweetie]

carboncopy said:

I am sure that if you would get in decent physical shape then you would have throngs of men clamoring for your attention and you would never visit this website again.

*cough...BASTARD...cough*

You missed something very important that was said.

Not that you would care or anything.

[HybridMoment]

carboncopy said:

superruss said:

Then you've seen a very small fraction of humanity, dude. Get out into the world and away from the internet for a while.

Looks matter in a relationship, at least at first. But then, when people get older and their hair grays and their skin worsens and they lose their figure, what then?

No, people learn to respect and appreciate their partner in life primarily through their mind; their likes and dislikes, activities, fears, experiences, commonalities of interest, etc. The other person becomes a valued companion, while sex and sexual attraction remain as a portion of the relationship, not the whole.

You are set and ready to go. Just ask out the 85 year old accross the street and you've met the love of your life. Barring that, go on any personals website and respond to ads from 50 something old women. You will be a hot commodity in that category as they are ready for young guys like you. You will get more nookie than your able body can handle. Other than that - just be reasonable.

This reminds me of a prank I played several years ago. It all started as an inside joke between some people on a message board, I had this fake profile that was an old woman that would say incredibly dumb things...anyway people at the site (even those who were unaware it was a prank) got a kick out of this "person".

Eventually we took it to another level. I found a glamour shot of an old obese woman in a motorcycle leathers and put in on yahoo personals. On the ad I put weird lines like, "I'm an old woman with a good heart, and a mild case of emphysema". I was trying to make it sound as fake as possible; it was so silly I thought no one would take it seriously. After having it posted only a few days the personal ad received over 50 messages from both old and young men wanting to meet the crazy octogenarian. The ad still gets hilarious responses to this day.

[annaa]

carboncopy said:

annaa said:

I agree. It is ridiculous now. Shut up or else i'll post a photo of my fat ass.
That'll burn your eyes.

You are obviously insecure about your weight. Why is it such a problem to acknowledge that men are attracted to women of proportional weight? They don't have to be razor thin, just within reasonable range. That applies to men being attractive to women as well.

I am sure that if you would get in decent physical shape then you would have throngs of men clamoring for your attention and you would never visit this website again.

See what I was getting at in the post I deleted...
When I was a little girl I was sexually assulted. Being small = being powerless (in my opinion). Who wants to rape a fatty?
What it boils down to is this; if I think a (potential) boyfriend could physically dominate me, I feel very uneasy.

And as an aside, I've had offers from many men in the past, none of which I accepted as I felt they were interested in only sex. Yes, that does happen to big girls, believe it or not.


I sort of want to cry now... pick this one apart carboncopy/lsdima. Tell me i'm not justified in how I feel.

[strawberrysweetie]

pnoopiepnats said:

I think making fun of fat people is one of the last socially acceptable discrimination we have in our society.

Nobody would dare post the same types of comments about certain ethnic groups. Sure they make think it, but they don't dare say it or try to make people feel bad.


I really think that overweight people can and do feel good about themselves as they are but there are the assholes of society that simply won't allow them to be. People get made fun of and treated like shit for being overweight.

One example was the awards where Britney Spears was singing live and wearing this little bikini thing and it was all over the papers how "fat" she was and people making fun of her. I bet she was all of a size 8 or 10 that day and surely the hell not fat.

Good point.

There was this show on lifetime called "To be fat like me"....A point very similar to what you are saying was made on that show. It's possible that the overweight are picked on so much because ANYONE can become "overweight" or "fat". Being overweight does not discriminate. Perhaps people pick on it so much because deep down they know it can happen to them one day.

And I agree britney spears was not "fat" as people called her. She didn't have rock hard abs, but she was actually an average size. I'm not really a fan of hers, but she is a person, and it killed me to hear people calling her "fat".