|
|
Post by Paulinus on Jul 18, 2005 7:45:53 GMT -5
yeah all these dating service people take away from the profits the SU dating service could be making. True, but i wouldn't seriously consider using it. I have had awful luck with dating sites, and i have no real hope of getting lucky in one. I'm just too boring in life, really. I like who i am, but my kind of activities really would not interest any girl. Yeah dating services would work if it was easy to matchmake using common interests which isnt usually the case. Personally what I'm looking for in a relationship is compatible personalties more then anything not necessarily matching interests. A reltionship will workbecause of the way they make each other feel not because they both enjoy hiking or whatever. Also even at first glance they dont share intrests, they could potentially share interests anyway just not know it yet because they haven't tried them. Personality is very hard to judge from a brief description which is why i dont see dating services working |
|
|
|
Post by pnoopiepnats on Jul 18, 2005 9:39:34 GMT -5
Personally what I'm looking for in a relationship is compatible personalties more then anything not necessarily matching interests. A reltionship will workbecause of the way they make each other feel not because they both enjoy hiking or whatever. Also even at first glance they dont share intrests, they could potentially share interests anyway just not know it yet because they haven't tried them. Personality is very hard to judge from a brief description which is why i dont see dating services working I guess I have somewhat odd ideas about what makes a relationship work. I had enough experience with what sucks to know what I don't like.  You really do have to have things in common to make it work long term. If one person is a homebody and the other likes to drink and party, it just isn't going to work. Try to avoid constant entertainment. If you are constantly doing things with the person like movies, going out to eat, going different places, it will take longer to get to know the real person. Those things are just distractions. Being entertained has no bearing on real day to day life with someone. I think if you can spend 24/7 with someone doing nothing but just being with them and not get on each other's nerves too bad and enjoy the other person's company, then that is a good sign. Also it is easy to get along in good times but what about the bad times? What happens if there is a major event in the other's life? What if one loses their job? or a family member dies? How a person handles these things shows what they are made of. |
|
|
|
Post by Paulinus on Jul 18, 2005 9:47:21 GMT -5
Pnats I agree with you, the key thing I think is how you get on simply when all you have is each others company not when you're doing loads of activities. You really do have to have things in common to make it work long term. If one person is a homebody and the other likes to drink and party, it just isn't going to work. I see that as a personality issue though not an interests issue. One has an outgoing personality the other doesn't hence the incompatibility. |
|
|
|
Post by Samantha on Jul 18, 2005 15:42:12 GMT -5
I think outgoing/introverted couples can work. As long as they accept their differences. Seems like quite a few social phobics have quite extroverted partners which is working out for them but not so well for others  I agree with the bad times test. Bad times really are a measure of a persons true character and can make or break relationships. Unfortunately it may take a long time to come.... or furtunately lol. I guess that's why it can be a good idea to have a long courting period etc before getting married. Wait until the initial excitement wears off and see how you react to different things etc etc. |
|
|
|
Post by Paulinus on Jul 19, 2005 4:57:20 GMT -5
I think outgoing/introverted couples can work. As long as they accept their differences. Seems like quite a few social phobics have quite extroverted partners which is working out for them but not so well for others Yeah I probably didn't get my point across well enough there. I was saying that the personalities have to be compatible with each other. Not necessarily the same. Although Pnats example of the one who goes out drinking all the time together with the someone who likes to stay at home almost certainly wouldnt work out. |
|
|
|
Post by shypsychologyguy on Jul 19, 2005 11:22:57 GMT -5
my mom is introverted and married my dad who is extroverted. He alwasys enjoyed going to job related picnics and stuff and my mom hated it. the diference between them wasnt too terribly bad though.
my sister however was very shy and married a very extroverted guy. he liked to throw alot of parties and my sister was always kinda hiding in the background even in her own home. she could not meet his needs.
introverts get there source of energy from themselves
extroverts get energy from being around others
|
|
|
|
Post by randall on Jul 30, 2005 9:45:12 GMT -5
I think in an outgoing/shy relationship it'd be a lot harder for the outgoing person. The shy person tends to be the one who sits back and lets the extravert do all the 'work'. I'm very introverted but I can understand how frustrating it could be for the outgoing person.
As for the original thread topic, 'Where to meet nice girls?', I'd have to say that university is the best place. I graduated a few years ago but I really wish I was back there now! I've grown enough to know that I'd interact with people differently now.
|
|
|
|
Post by lonelyheart on Jul 30, 2005 18:49:49 GMT -5
Introverted female and extroverted male will work fine. The other way around probably wont though, with girls generally looking for someone who will look after them.
|
|
orange
Junior Member
Posts: 54
|
Post by orange on Jul 31, 2005 17:52:31 GMT -5
I am an introverted female and all five of the guys I have dated have been extroverts (some more than others). I was going to say that it probably isn't a big deal to have a relationship between an introverted female and an extroverted male, but then again, now that I think of it, maybe that was why my relationships didn't last!  In fact, two of the guys did say I was too shy for them when they broke up with me. Perhaps I need to find a shy introverted guy. Although the guy I am dating now is an extrovert and we're fine so far. I am not as shy around him, however, as I was around the others. I think I am progressing slowly towards overcoming my condition... I'm only shy around groups of people now. With regards to internet dating sites, I met two of my exes on a dating site... and another of my exes in a chat room. Can't say that worked out too well, but... I also met my best friend on an internet dating site and we're still friends and get along great. Also, I met the guy I am currently dating on a dating site and as I said everything's still pretty good. As for the original post, meeting nice girls can happen at a lot of places... such as school, work, mall, grocery store, internet (whether dating site or not), sports teams, maybe clubs/bars, etc. The only thing that would probably stop you from meeting the girls at these places (other than net) would be that you actually have to go up to them and say hi! |
|
|
|
Post by lonelyheart on Aug 3, 2005 5:37:51 GMT -5
orange - you must be gorgeous.
|
|
|
|
Post by Bodhi on Aug 3, 2005 8:21:38 GMT -5
I know alot of people on this thread have said bookstores as great places to meet nice girls. My question is is it possible to meet a girl at a bookstore and from one conversation end up with her phone number or a way to contact her. I can see making nice small talk about a book or something, but how to get to where you will see her again in such short time. Thats what I'm having trouble with, because otherwise I think I could force myself to make a few friendly comments or whatever, but I don't know if I have the ability to spin a conversation to the point where I get her phone number. Anyone have advice on how to do that?
|
|
|
|
Post by Samantha on Aug 3, 2005 8:48:17 GMT -5
but how to get to where you will see her again in such short time Keep buying books lol. Sorry that's not much help. I don't know  |
|
|
|
Post by wagnerr on Aug 3, 2005 14:57:44 GMT -5
orange - you must be gorgeous. Yeah, she must be to have that many bfs in her lifetime.  I can say that it's easy to make friends online, but difficult to make anything more than that. I don't know why, but all my attempts to open up to women online in a more personal way just end up with more friendships, and never any real interest.  While the girls keep saying that they want bfs and can't find any. Really seems hyprocritical to me. |
|
|
|
Post by pnoopiepnats on Aug 3, 2005 15:09:53 GMT -5
orange - you must be gorgeous. Yeah, she must be to have that many bfs in her lifetime. I can say that it's easy to make friends online, but difficult to make anything more than that. I don't know why, but all my attempts to open up to women online in a more personal way just end up with more friendships, and never any real interest. While the girls keep saying that they want bfs and can't find any. Really seems hyprocritical to me. I was just thinking something like this the other day. Lots of guys and girls on here. Surely some have to be fairly close to each other? So why aren't people interested more in people here? |
|
orange
Junior Member
Posts: 54
|
Post by orange on Aug 3, 2005 15:24:21 GMT -5
orange - you must be gorgeous. Hahaha. Oh I'm sorry to laugh but I found that hilarious. I'm actually quite the opposite, IMHO. I find it very easy to open up to people online. They don't see the shy side of me and then when we finally meet in person I can be the outgoing talkative person I was online, because that's all they know of me. But I am still pretty shy when it comes to talking to them about relationship issues, or sometimes in even asking them to hang out with me, afraid they will say no. I am really shy in groups of people, they wouldn't know I have a voice as I never say a word unless spoken to. One-on-one I can be fairly outgoing if I feel comfortable. Again... I'm not gorgeous.. far from it. Though I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder so my exes may have thought I was. But most likely they just liked me for my personality  Edit: These "bf's" weren't really that serious. Longest lasted 5 months. |
|
In fact, two of the guys did say I was too shy for them when they broke up with me. Perhaps I need to find a shy introverted guy. Although the guy I am dating now is an extrovert and we're fine so far. I am not as shy around him, however, as I was around the others. I think I am progressing slowly towards overcoming my condition... I'm only shy around groups of people now.
