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Post by MrNice on Apr 26, 2006 13:42:35 GMT -5
they are just testing for different things also you wrong about your merit being alot more important at an interview believe me, being a likeable person gets you places tons of jobs don't really require specific technical knowledge and you can get the experience jsut doing the job even those that do require technical skill - any job requires you to be responsible/reliable and acting the wrong way during the interview will keep you from getting the job
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Post by aforgottenmemory on Apr 26, 2006 13:48:38 GMT -5
lol, I guess you are really intelligent and can see right through people and all those people that end up in a relationship with the wrong person are not as smart as you are perhaps its the shyness that gives us this unique ability to see when we are being manipulated also you chose to ignore the point I was making about how when you actually fall for the person all reasoning goes out the window I didn't choose to ignore it. I didn't think it was relevant to what we were talking about. You and Sushiboat keep jumping back and forth between relationship problems and people you've only just met!? Then taking my point about one and applying it to the other! It is not being arrogant to say that I don't fall for petty manipulative tricks either lsdima. I'm not saying there aren't people out there who couldn't manipulate me, i'm saying that the examples used so far are pitifully transparent!
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Post by aforgottenmemory on Apr 26, 2006 13:54:02 GMT -5
they are just testing for different things also you wrong about your merit being alot more important at an interview believe me, being a likeable person gets you places tons of jobs don't really require specific technical knowledge and you can get the experience jsut doing the job even those that do require technical skill - any job requires you to be responsible/reliable and acting the wrong way during the interview will keep you from getting the job For crying out loud, I didn't say merit was more important than the other!? I said they look to see you're capable in every aspect!!! Do you just argue because you enjoy it? You twist and turn even the smallest of details just to keep the argument going.
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Post by sushiboat on Apr 26, 2006 14:02:28 GMT -5
Whether you use the word "test" is unimportant. People, men and women, look at subtle signs and often attach a great deal of meaning to them. If you have ever been a fly on the wall when an all-male or all-female group is discussing what someone's date did and what it means, you will know what I'm talking about. Sometimes the subtle sign is a reaction to something the evaluator did. Other times it is just a situation that comes up. Sometimes the evaluation is carried out deliberately and consciously from the start. Other times, it's just a gut reaction after the fact.
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Post by MrNice on Apr 26, 2006 14:27:44 GMT -5
they are transparent because you know beforehand that someone is trying to manipulate you and you are not emotionally attached to that person I did not say you were arrogant - just that its stupid to point out how you can not be manipulated while you have nothing at stake and already know that you are being manipulated.
however when these above two conditions are not met, is when the trouble starts happening it does not matter whether you are in a relationship or not - if you are a frustrated guy seeking a girlfriend (like most people who ask for advice) then any girl you take interest in and that displays a minimal amount of attention back can become emotionally significant. This is not a hypthetical situation - it has happened again and again with various posters on this board.
when you are dealing with people you constantly have to make decision based on INCOMPLETE information with various things at stake. The more importance you put on the situation (and as you can see a shy guy trying to find a girlfriend places tremendous amount of importance on any girl he has a chance with) the harder it is to make cold calculated observations such as 'she is just bluffing'.
wishful thinking hoping and just plain denial is what gets you in trouble.
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Post by aforgottenmemory on Apr 26, 2006 15:00:53 GMT -5
they are transparent because you know beforehand that someone is trying to manipulate you and you are not emotionally attached to that person I did not say you were arrogant - just that its stupid to point out how you can not be manipulated while you have nothing at stake and already know that you are being manipulated. When did I say that? If I was crushing majorly or was desperate then yeah I could be manipulated more easily. I've fallen into that trap before as you know, I think most people have. That's what i've been saying from the start. Why are you arguing with me, we agree!
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ty78
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Post by ty78 on May 30, 2006 10:12:38 GMT -5
Women hate nice guys because they are generally less wealthy, ambitious, and aggressive. They also are more concerned with living in harmony with others and will generally never be the "leader of the pack".
What does this all mean? Well non nice guys satisfy very primal urges that women have.
-Women that breed with a wealthy and ambitious man have are more likely to have thier offspring taken care of as well as having these nice traits passed on from the father. The rockstars, sports stars, CEO's and rich men all get women with ease. They could be partially retarded it wouldn't matter as long as they are getting mounted by "the leader of the pack" or the "alpha male".
-In nature most primates promote themselves in hierarchy threw aggression and physical beatings. Women love bad boys...wow what a suprise!
Where does this leave average joe shybie nice guys? Well no where to be honest unless you get an emotionally fragile women thats been abused and her desire for safety has overidden her lusts for more grandeur things. Other candidates for mates include the mentally ill or women severely below you in status.
The only other alternative for a nice guy is to be very smart and wow her with your brain but really thats just another version of wanting the alpha male and just the persons perceptions are different. You'll see if you look at any of the confessions websites like "Not Proud" that many female students lust over there professors despite usually having no physical attraction to them.
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Post by MrNice on May 30, 2006 10:31:18 GMT -5
no they are just scared shitless to upset anyone, stand up for their own interests and be looked upon in a bad light - and then justify it by 'trying to live in harmony with others'
only the dead live in total harmony
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Post by pnoopiepnats on May 30, 2006 11:26:23 GMT -5
Women hate nice guys because they are generally less wealthy, ambitious, and aggressive. They also are more concerned with living in harmony with others and will generally never be the "leader of the pack". What does this all mean? Well non nice guys satisfy very primal urges that women have. -Women that breed with a wealthy and ambitious man have are more likely to have thier offspring taken care of as well as having these nice traits passed on from the father. The rockstars, sports stars, CEO's and rich men all get women with ease. They could be partially retarded it wouldn't matter as long as they are getting mounted by "the leader of the pack" or the "alpha male". -In nature most primates promote themselves in hierarchy threw aggression and physical beatings. Women love bad boys...wow what a suprise! Where does this leave average joe shybie nice guys? Well no where to be honest unless you get an emotionally fragile women thats been abused and her desire for safety has overidden her lusts for more grandeur things. Other candidates for mates include the mentally ill or women severely below you in status. The only other alternative for a nice guy is to be very smart and wow her with your brain but really thats just another version of wanting the alpha male and just the persons perceptions are different. You'll see if you look at any of the confessions websites like "Not Proud" that many female students lust over there professors despite usually having no physical attraction to them. Nice bunch of generalizations. Many people are attracted to money and power. You seem to forget that most people aren't rock stars, ceo's, or celebrities. Most people aren't in that league and therefore comparing average people to them makes no sense. That is like comparing your average joe golfer to Tiger Woods. What exactly do you mean by dating women beneath you? Aren't you saying you are in the bottom of the barrel too because you aren't an alphamale? What type of woman do you think you are deserving of? If all you think you deserve are mental patients and below you in status, maybe that is on you and your poor self-esteem. It is rather insulting to those of us women who prefer shy men.
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ty78
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Posts: 188
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Post by ty78 on May 30, 2006 16:05:20 GMT -5
no they are just scared shitless to upset anyone, stand up for their own interests and be looked upon in a bad light - and then justify it by 'trying to live in harmony with others' only the dead live in total harmony I meant harmony as in where people are respectful to eachother. I for one have no problem sticking up for myself. Being shy doesn't mean your a sap.
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ty78
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Post by ty78 on May 30, 2006 17:03:12 GMT -5
[/quote] Nice bunch of generalizations.
Many people are attracted to money and power.
You seem to forget that most people aren't rock stars, ceo's, or celebrities. Most people aren't in that league and therefore comparing average people to them makes no sense.
That is like comparing your average joe golfer to Tiger Woods.
What exactly do you mean by dating women beneath you? Aren't you saying you are in the bottom of the barrel too because you aren't an alphamale? What type of woman do you think you are deserving of?
If all you think you deserve are mental patients and below you in status, maybe that is on you and your poor self-esteem.
It is rather insulting to those of us women who prefer shy men. [/quote]
Your post is full of generalizations about me or even what i said. Pot meet kettle... All I said is shy men don't fullfill very primal urges that women have.
I never said everyone was a rockstar. Where do you get that? Anyways you don't need to be a rockstar to be higher in the hierarchy you just need to be to put in simply more popular, wealthy etc. A rockstar would be at the top of this spectrum where a janitor would be on the bottom for example.
I just simply stated the men higher in the hierarchy are more desirable for women. Given equal wealth a shy man will be less attractive than another outgoing one and he'll have to settle for less usually simply because he's not a social butterfly.
Also I never said I wanted to date mental patients I just said that to further drive home my point. Again a vast generalization and a twisting of the words. Mentally ill include many things like bi-polar, low self esteem, depression and not just schizo's like to you seem to say. I just wanted to further drive down the point shy guys have to settle for less than what an outgoing guy does.
Anyways I'm sorry if I offended you and though and while you may like shy guys you are certainly the exception rather than the norm.
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Post by Sweet Pea on May 30, 2006 18:27:21 GMT -5
men higher in the hierarchy are more desirable for women. given that our society often rewards stupidity, ignorance and conformity among other undesireable traits, this is not always the case.
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Post by MrNice on May 30, 2006 18:52:54 GMT -5
nice(tm)/shy people are the most conforming people they are the ones that don't want to stand out and want to be left alone so your point is wrong
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Post by Sweet Pea on May 30, 2006 18:57:23 GMT -5
nice(tm)/shy people are the most conforming people they are the ones that don't want to stand out and want to be left alone so your point is wrong oh stick it lsdima!
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Post by wagnerr on May 30, 2006 19:36:24 GMT -5
I don't think women are initially attracted to shy guys, no. Nor are men attracted to shy women initially. But i think somewhere along the road, men and women wisen up a bit, and see things for what they really are. Maybe they go to the eye doctor and get better glasses, i don't know.
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