|
Post by nats on May 30, 2006 19:37:46 GMT -5
I don';t know, sometimes shy guys are pretty attractive. And about hte shy girsl, i always thought they weren't noticed until i was asked by a guy i know to match him up with a girl i know who's shy, because he was too scared- and he's not shy at all
|
|
|
Post by pnoopiepnats on May 30, 2006 21:00:05 GMT -5
nice(tm)/shy people are the most conforming people they are the ones that don't want to stand out and want to be left alone so your point is wrong How is that conforming?
|
|
|
Post by randall on May 31, 2006 9:42:40 GMT -5
The only other alternative for a nice guy is to be very smart and wow her with your brain but really thats just another version of wanting the alpha male and just the persons perceptions are different. The chances of a shy guy wowing an attractive girl with his intelligence is dismally low. Unless the shy guy is also good looking he's got almost no chance of being able to keep a girl's attention long enough to wow her with his intellgince (and I don't even know how he'd do that anyway). You'll see if you look at any of the confessions websites like "Not Proud" that many female students lust over there professors despite usually having no physical attraction to them. That's more about the professor's position of power than his brain. Notice that those same professors didn't have that pulling power when they were mere lecturers.
|
|
|
Post by randall on May 31, 2006 9:53:54 GMT -5
I don't think women are initially attracted to shy guys, no. Nor are men attracted to shy women initially. I think a lot of men are attracted to shy women. But yeah, a lot of women find shy men very unattractive because we can come across as indecisive and unassertive.
|
|
|
Post by MrNice on May 31, 2006 10:14:22 GMT -5
well, the way people come across as indecisive and unassertive is by being indecisive and unassertive
|
|
|
Post by pnoopiepnats on May 31, 2006 10:22:57 GMT -5
I think a lot of men are attracted to shy women. But yeah, a lot of women find shy men very unattractive because we can come across as indecisive and unassertive. Another good point. I think that may have been what happened in Bodhi's case. He came across as indecisive and unassertive so maybe she was thinking he didn't really like her. Being indecisive in a relationship gives other other person an uneasy feeling about where they stand with the other person. Ambivalence is hard to deal with.
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on May 31, 2006 18:36:01 GMT -5
I think a lot of men are attracted to shy women. But yeah, a lot of women find shy men very unattractive because we can come across as indecisive and unassertive. Another good point. I think that may have been what happened in Bodhi's case. He came across as indecisive and unassertive so maybe she was thinking he didn't really like her. Being indecisive in a relationship gives other other person an uneasy feeling about where they stand with the other person. Ambivalence is hard to deal with. yeah, when a person's behavior seems to indicate ambivalent feelings...uh...not exactly flattering. it helps a lot to appear enthusiastic if that's how you feel.
|
|
|
Post by sushiboat on May 31, 2006 19:40:43 GMT -5
I disagree. Prostrate yourself and the other person will think that there's something wrong with you. On the other hand, being unattainable is bad too. You have to be in the middle — attainable but not easy. You may think you want easy, but when it comes along, you'll probably find a reason to pass.
|
|
|
Post by zaab on May 31, 2006 20:10:15 GMT -5
I disagree. Prostrate yourself and the other person will think that there's something wrong with you. On the other hand, being unattainable is bad too. You have to be in the middle — attainable but not easy. You may think you want easy, but when it comes along, you'll probably find a reason to pass. I'm confused. Are you saying that acting enthusiastic is a form of prostration? I'm not sure what you're referring to.
|
|
|
Post by MrNice on May 31, 2006 20:30:10 GMT -5
your confusion is between being enthusiastic and being desperate. its good to be enthusiastic. When you you are totally in love with the girl even before making any definite romantic(as opposed to friendly) moves, which side does that fall on?
|
|
|
Post by zaab on May 31, 2006 20:37:59 GMT -5
your confusion is between being enthusiastic and being desperate. its good to be enthusiastic. When you you are totally in love with the girl even before making any definite romantic(as opposed to friendly) moves, which side does that fall on? No argument. I'm just trying to find out if that's what he actually meant.
|
|
|
Post by sushiboat on May 31, 2006 21:09:32 GMT -5
A person with options has high standards and isn't in a hurry to fall head over heels. In the early stages, this person thinks: "I'm having fun with you, so we'll see what happens on a date. If you do something bad or weird or whatever, I will call you on it, in a playful and good-natured way. I haven't made up my mind yet. I can walk away in a heartbeat because I know that I am a great person who can easily find someone else."
A person without options has low standards. In the early stages, this person thinks: "I really, really like you. I really, really want you to like me. We're so compatible. I can see us being boyfriend and girlfriend, and maybe later even marrying. Please don't reject me because I'll be heartbroken. I have a very strong feeling that you are THE ONE."
|
|
|
Post by zaab on May 31, 2006 22:13:16 GMT -5
A person with options has high standards and isn't in a hurry to fall head over heels. In the early stages, this person thinks: "I'm having fun with you, so we'll see what happens on a date. If you do something bad or weird or whatever, I will call you on it, in a playful and good-natured way. I haven't made up my mind yet. I can walk away in a heartbeat because I know that I am a great person who can easily find someone else." A person without options has low standards. In the early stages, this person thinks: "I really, really like you. I really, really want you to like me. We're so compatible. I can see us being boyfriend and girlfriend, and maybe later even marrying. Please don't reject me because I'll be heartbroken. I have a very strong feeling that you are THE ONE." Thanks for the clarification. I was thinking of enthusiasm in different terms. I thought of it as being upbeat and positive and not squelching that positive energy just to appear "cool." I agree with what you said, I just wouldn't define it as "enthusiasm," maybe "fanaticism" is what I would call it.
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on May 31, 2006 23:12:53 GMT -5
A person with options has high standards and isn't in a hurry to fall head over heels. In the early stages, this person thinks: "I'm having fun with you, so we'll see what happens on a date. If you do something bad or weird or whatever, I will call you on it, in a playful and good-natured way. I haven't made up my mind yet. I can walk away in a heartbeat because I know that I am a great person who can easily find someone else." A person without options has low standards. In the early stages, this person thinks: "I really, really like you. I really, really want you to like me. We're so compatible. I can see us being boyfriend and girlfriend, and maybe later even marrying. Please don't reject me because I'll be heartbroken. I have a very strong feeling that you are THE ONE." Thanks for the clarification. I was thinking of enthusiasm in different terms. I thought of it as being upbeat and positive and not squelching that positive energy just to appear "cool." I agree with what you said, I just wouldn't define it as "enthusiasm," maybe "fanaticism" is what I would call it. um...yeah...
|
|
|
Post by wagnerr on Jun 1, 2006 0:44:25 GMT -5
Shit, Zaab isn't the only one confused by yall's posts here. Good God, already. It's like we're talking a completely different language now.
|
|