|
|
Post by mindshaver on Sept 24, 2007 11:21:38 GMT -5
Yeah... So, I openly admit that I'm not the best looking, most attractive guy, but I can tell something's not right with me when I see somebody who's completely butt ugly with some really hot chick.
So here I am, just kind of... the dead center of average, and I've never even had a date! Is something wrong with me? I mean, even shy guys can get chicks too, right? Then again, I know I don't put myself out there, but for the most part, it's not just shyness that takes over me, but it's just almost no will to hit on a chick that I've never been friends with first... if that makes any sense. But of course most normal people don't have trouble with that...
Maybe it's just me and my 'looks alone aren't going to do it' mentality, but even so, sometimes I just feel like a failure in that department. I need someone with an awesome personality, not just "the look". Am I setting my standards too high, or am I just a loser?
|
|
|
|
Post by Tal on Sept 24, 2007 12:24:20 GMT -5
What you look like doesn't really matter that much tbh... Having high standards may reduce your chances, but I don't think its a terrible thing. Requiring friendship first is no big deal... lots of people won't do anything much on first meeting. The biggest problem is simply not putting yourself in the situation where you can meet girls. I have that problem too...only ever really had success with girls online, because I've PM'd them on a forum. Offline I have no chance because I don't mix. It's all about exposure.  |
|
|
|
Post by MrNice on Sept 24, 2007 12:42:54 GMT -5
your high standards are just a cover up for your fear to approach girls
you have to put those 'I have to be sure this is THE ONE before I even attempt to speak to her' feelings out of your head
|
|
|
|
Post by gaz on Sept 24, 2007 13:38:46 GMT -5
What you look like doesn't really matter that much tbh... Having high standards may reduce your chances, but I don't think its a terrible thing. Requiring friendship first is no big deal... lots of people won't do anything much on first meeting. The biggest problem is simply not putting yourself in the situation where you can meet girls. I have that problem too...only ever really had success with girls online, because I've PM'd them on a forum. Offline I have no chance because I don't mix. It's all about exposure. That's true. The thing is when I am in a rare social situation such as in wedding parties etc, I still don't talk to many people and I just get drunk so that I feel more relaxed but I still keep to myself more o'r less. The thing is most girls hate a drunk guy talking to them, but getting drunk is the only way I can even think about attempting to talk to a girl. I end up miserable more than ever in social situations because I feel such a failure. |
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 24, 2007 16:57:33 GMT -5
Maybe it's just me and my 'looks alone aren't going to do it' mentality, but even so, sometimes I just feel like a failure in that department. I need someone with an awesome personality, not just "the look". Am I setting my standards too high...? well, if you are...you have a lot of company.  |
|
|
|
Post by annaa on Sept 24, 2007 18:40:41 GMT -5
I can relate to most of, if not all of, what you've said. I'm average looking (got a nice face but the fact that i'm not the skinniest of girls kind of lets me down :  and i'm pretty confident that i'm a pleasant person. I've never had a "boyfriend" or a "date". Because of that, I sometimes think there must be something seriously wrong with me that i'm not aware of. I see no other reason why and I start to feel really bad about myself. But then when i'm in a rational frame of mind, I realise it's not because i'm some horrible monster, it's because I rarely leave the house. And when I do go out, I don't exactly send out a vibe that says "Hey guys - come and approach me!". In your post you've said you don't really put yourself out there. Don't take things so personally. It's important for people like ourselves to remember the actual reasons why we're single. |
|
|
|
Post by lennythegiant on Sept 28, 2007 13:41:01 GMT -5
That's sounds a lot like me. I've been told that I'm not bad looking. I've been complimented by girls a few times. I'm carrying a little more weight than I should be, but I can still clean up well. Anyway, the reason why I've probably never dated or had a gf is because I haven't put myself out there for too long a time. Still...I gotta find some work first. I can't put myself out there until I have something to offer.
|
|
|
|
Post by k151 on Oct 1, 2007 3:16:39 GMT -5
Shy guys get girls? Not often. It's possible, but not commonplace.
Not putting yourself out there is a problem.
I sometimes wonder myself why I never have any girls interested in me. Well...I never talk to any. I'm also not often in a situation that I can.
I'm also probably average looking, though I'm rapidly gaining weight...
My BMI technically calls me overweight, but I don't look it...not yet.
BMI can be misleading though. I have a large frame and a decent set of muscle.
|
|
|
|
Post by lennythegiant on Oct 1, 2007 22:30:55 GMT -5
I sometimes wonder myself why I never have any girls interested in me. Well...I never talk to any. I'm also not often in a situation that I can. Yeah, I think that's the hardest part for shy people, getting up the guts to get to the place where you will be noticed and will be able to meet girls. Right now I'm not in a position to really do that. I'm going to set some goals I think to get there though. |
|
|
|
Post by kopzilla on Oct 8, 2007 23:44:01 GMT -5
infact there are many girls who really like quiet shy guys ...i.e if they are talkative and extrovert themselves ....
It'd interesting to know what girls really think...are they shy as well..or do they make quick judgements on how a guy looks...
same goes for guys...
|
|
|
|
Post by lennythegiant on Oct 9, 2007 0:37:38 GMT -5
your high standards are just a cover up for your fear to approach girls you have to put those 'I have to be sure this is THE ONE before I even attempt to speak to her' feelings out of your head It is also possible that his standards are too high. You kind of have to take most of the expectations of a relationship out of your head, otherwise you're just going to beat yourself up for not being in one/feeling like you just screwed yourself over again as far as being in one. |
|
|
|
Post by annaa on Oct 9, 2007 18:33:12 GMT -5
infact there are many girls who really like quiet shy guys ...i.e if they are talkative and extrovert themselves... True. I'm not closing my mind to extroverted men, but to be honest if I had a choice i'd go for shy guys. I'm not talkative and extroverted, however I find if i'm with another shy person i'm more inclined to "take the lead" (by that I mean do more of the talking etc). |
|
timid
Full Member
Posts: 107
|
Post by timid on Oct 10, 2007 15:17:39 GMT -5
What I find annoying is that most people are drawn to either a person with "wow" looks OR a "wow" personality or both! Anyone with just average ( or in my case I reckon below average ) looks or average (ie. uninteresting) personality just doesn't cut it! Too boring! I feel like I have to entertain people or forget about being noticed!
|
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 10, 2007 18:32:59 GMT -5
What I find annoying is that most people are drawn to either a person with "wow" looks OR a "wow" personality or both! Anyone with just average ( or in my case I reckon below average ) looks or average (ie. uninteresting) personality just doesn't cut it! Too boring! I feel like I have to entertain people or forget about being noticed! to some extent, i think that's true. people nowadays do seem to expect to be entertained a lot. we have a weird lifestyle now where we don't have to fight sabertooth tigers or anything, and everyday life gets real boring and routine. i don't demand entertainment, but i do appreciate it. i get bored like everyone else. but i do try to return the favor and at least provide interesting conversation. |
|
|
|
Post by MrNice on Oct 10, 2007 19:17:36 GMT -5
I don't see how this makes sense. Sure some people can have high standards but everyone wants someone special.
|
|
and i'm pretty confident that i'm a pleasant person.