Women being attracted to men with gfs

[lennythegiant]

I'm listening to a radio show now where they are talking about some women being attracted to guys that already have girlfriends, because it shows that they can have a relationship and are confident enough to have a gf.

That bummed me out. I guess us single guys have to work harder on the confidence thing.

[theinfiniteabyss84]

lennythegiant said:

I'm listening to a radio show now where they are talking about some women being attracted to guys that already have girlfriends, because it shows that they can have a relationship and are confident enough to have a gf.

That bummed me out. I guess us single guys have to work harder on the confidence thing.

Meh, I think that is silly. I think some guys that turn out to have girlfriends to be attractive but thats it, since...they have girlfriends.

[Astroruss]

I agree; i think it's crap.

Maybe a few women are attracted to men with gfs, but i think they're into the big egocentric competitive streakfreaks and should be avoided.

Most women aren't interested in that kind, or don't seem to be anyways.

[pnoopiepnats]

Many people male and female do this. They won't leave the one they are with until they have someone else lined up.

[Sweet Pea]

pnoopiepnats said:

Many people male and female do this. They won't leave the one they are with until they have someone else lined up.

yeah, the old "i'm married but my wife/husband doesn't understand me"

[skyhint]

pnoopiepnats said:

Many people male and female do this. They won't leave the one they are with until they have someone else lined up.

Anything to avoid feeling alone

[strawberrysweetie]

Personally, I'm not more attracted to men who are already taken. If I see a guy that I think is cute and find out he has a girlfriend, I stop thinking of him. He's already taken, so I no longer think of there being a chance.

I guess certain women may feel more attracted to guys who are taken, but it's more like the opposite for me. Or I just wish I was that girl or was as lucky as she, if I like him that much.

[Rose]

strawberrysweetie said:

Personally, I'm not more attracted to men who are already taken. If I see a guy that I think is cute and find out he has a girlfriend, I stop thinking of him. He's already taken, so I no longer think of there being a chance.

I guess certain women may feel more attracted to guys who are taken, but it's more like the opposite for me. Or I just wish I was that girl or was as lucky as she, if I like him that much.

Yeah, same here.
If he has a girlfriend, forget it.

[annaa]

I'm not attracted to men with girlfriends deliberately.
That's just how it turns out.

[lennythegiant]

Just about anyone I'm attracted to or feel I may have just the slightest shot with already has a boyfriend or seems to find one shortly. Just about every time.

[Astrodog]

annaa said:

I'm not attracted to men with girlfriends deliberately.
That's just how it turns out.

That only means you have exquisite taste.

[gaz]

lennythegiant said:

Just about anyone I'm attracted to or feel I may have just the slightest shot with already has a boyfriend or seems to find one shortly. Just about every time.

I know! I seem to always loose out because all the confident guys get there first and they are almost always assholes. There was a girl who was in school with me, and I worked in the same place for a while. I was getting ready to ask her out and I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said she'd been with the guy for five years. Anyway two weeks later I saw her in a shop with her boyfriend and he's an asshole! He was pushing her around, you know bossing her about. This guy is about ten years older than her and apparently he refuses to work and instead this girl has two jobs! I'm thinking I would be a much better boyfriend to her, but it's not going to happen now

[Deleted]

I have been told that women don't want someone that nobody else wants. I have experienced that before too, when I was single, it was hard finding a gf or a girl interested in me, but soon as I got a gf and became steady,, the women came out of the wood work all of the sudden. So I do believe its true , being in a relationship pushes your stock up.

[Sweet Pea]

firnatine said:

I have been told that women don't want someone that nobody else wants. I have experienced that before too, when I was single, it was hard finding a gf or a girl interested in me, but soon as I got a gf and became steady,, the women came out of the wood work all of the sudden. So I do believe its true , being in a relationship pushes your stock up.

can we be sure that you weren't just more confident around women and giving them more opportunities to communicate their interest in you...hmmmm?

[phoenixferret]

sweetpea said:

firnatine said:

I have been told that women don't want someone that nobody else wants. I have experienced that before too, when I was single, it was hard finding a gf or a girl interested in me, but soon as I got a gf and became steady,, the women came out of the wood work all of the sudden. So I do believe its true , being in a relationship pushes your stock up.

can we be sure that you weren't just more confident around women and giving them more opportunities to communicate their interest in you...hmmmm?

Yeah, I find it hard to believe that women could smell the relationship on you, and that was what made them interested, lol. Unless women were hitting on you while your girlfriend was with you, I just don't buy it that that's the reason they were attracted.

When you're in a (good) relationship, you're basically getting constant validation that you're a worthwhile human being. You feel good about yourself; you smile big, not because you're being friendly, but because you're thinking of your partner; you don't care quite so much what other people think about you, because the one person who matters most will make you feel great again the next time they tell you how much they love you. The kind of radiant optimism and confidence a person gets while in a relationship-- it *is* attractive. Confidence begets more confidence begets attraction.

Though I can also see how a guy getting a girl can perhaps pique some women's interest sometimes. I remember there was a guy in high school, I think it was, who I found completely unappealing, in looks, in manner--and I got the impression that he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. And then one day, I saw him getting lovey-dovey with this normal-seeming, very pretty girl, obviously his girlfriend. It gave me pause and made me think, wow, I guess that means he must have something going for him after all. I didn't find him any more appealing, but it definitely changed the way I thought of him. I can see how a woman might notice a guy for unexpectedly having a girlfriend, and then in noticing realize that the guy might be cool after all, on second thought. I wouldn't expect many women to actually take it beyond a second thought, but there will always be those few who'll hound after what they want without regard to any established claims.

Either way, though, I agree that generalized confidence is far more important than "proving yourself" by getting a girlfriend.