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Post by deadendphilosopher on May 15, 2008 22:16:04 GMT -5
My friend convinced me to sign up for this thing called a Shadow Work workshop, but she just backed out and I want to go alone but am really scared. Has anyone else done anything like this? Apparently shadow work is like an intense group psychotherapy session. It's based on the theories of Jung, who said that as we grow and develop we learn that it is not safe to express certain aspects of our personalities so we suppress and deny these aspects (though they are actually very necessary and useful when in balance). These suppressed aspects of our personality never really disappear, and when they are denied (in "shadow") they can influence us in ways we are not aware of and hinder and hold us back. (Or something along those lines).
The shadow workshop is supposed to be a safe place to figure out some parts of yourself that are in shadow so you can see them and consciously take control of them instead of letting them control you. I think this workshop will be really useful in helping me overcome some of my destructive, deeply ingrained patterns (many pertaining to shyness). But here's the scary part: there are about 10 weekly sessions, and each session everyone sits in a circle and one person stands up in the middle to explore a shadow of theirs! They get other people in the group to role play components out for perspective, and the facilitators help them question themselves and explore themselves in front of everyone else! Apparently there tends to be a lot of intense emotion and tears involved. My dad has done it a couple times, and he says the results are amazing, and that it's a very gentle process, and you are encouraged to only do what you feel comfortable doing, and don't ever even have to explore a shadow yourself. But I'm still pretty teriffied - especially because it's geared toward middle aged people, and I live in a small town, so you never know who will show up.
I want to do this because I feel like I can't solve my problems by myself anymore - I just come to dead ends. I promised myself I would actively try a lot of new things this summer, and this opportunity just fell right into my lap. But I'm really scared! I'm going to force myself to go, but I don't know if I can get the nerve up to stand up and explore my shadows in front of everybody.
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Post by Sweet Pea on May 15, 2008 22:28:54 GMT -5
My friend convinced me to sign up for this thing called a Shadow Work workshop, but she just backed out and I want to go alone but am really scared. Has anyone else done anything like this? Apparently shadow work is like an intense group psychotherapy session. It's based on the theories of Jung, who said that as we grow and develop we learn that it is not safe to express certain aspects of our personalities so we suppress and deny these aspects (though they are actually very necessary and useful when in balance). These suppressed aspects of our personality never really disappear, and when they are denied (in "shadow") they can influence us in ways we are not aware of and hinder and hold us back. (Or something along those lines). The shadow workshop is supposed to be a safe place to figure out some parts of yourself that are in shadow so you can see them and consciously take control of them instead of letting them control you. I think this workshop will be really useful in helping me overcome some of my destructive, deeply ingrained patterns (many pertaining to shyness). But here's the scary part: there are about 10 weekly sessions, and each session everyone sits in a circle and one person stands up in the middle to explore a shadow of theirs! They get other people in the group to role play components out for perspective, and the facilitators help them question themselves and explore themselves in front of everyone else! Apparently there tends to be a lot of intense emotion and tears involved. My dad has done it a couple times, and he says the results are amazing, and that it's a very gentle process, and you are encouraged to only do what you feel comfortable doing, and don't ever even have to explore a shadow yourself. But I'm still pretty teriffied - especially because it's geared toward middle aged people, and I live in a small town, so you never know who will show up. I want to do this because I feel like I can't solve my problems by myself anymore - I just come to dead ends. I promised myself I would actively try a lot of new things this summer, and this opportunity just fell right into my lap. But I'm really scared! I'm going to force myself to go, but I don't know if I can get the nerve up to stand up and explore my shadows in front of everybody. sounds fascinating! you should definitely go!  just tell yourself you're just gonna watch. just get yourself in there. it's the therapist's job to help you feel comfortable with participating. just go and see what happens. |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on May 15, 2008 22:47:10 GMT -5
Thanks for the encouragement Sweet Pea! I think it will be pretty fascinating watching everyone else, which is a strong incentive to go.
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Post by Astroruss on May 15, 2008 23:34:29 GMT -5
Thanks for the encouragement Sweet Pea! I think it will be pretty fascinating watching everyone else, which is a strong incentive to go. Ooh, Jung! Get ready! He's intense, all right. The shadow side, uh oh. That's some strong stuff, there. Watch out for the Theory of the Collective Unconcious.  Especially in a group setting! |
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gaia
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Post by gaia on May 15, 2008 23:52:53 GMT -5
Sounds like it could be quite a beneficial thing for you to do. You should definately go! I have been to something a bit like this before quite a few times (only it was more a spiritual - would rather not say what exactly it was). I was really nervous about it all, because i'd never met anyone there before - it was 16 new people to get used to. There was a "Get to know eachother" bit.. Was awkward having to tell people my name, where I was from and why I was there. But when it got down to the actual workshop, I have to say it was one of the most humbling experiences i've ever had. It's so amazing to see that in spite of how differently people present themselves (outgoing / shy / whatever), we are the same underneath and we all have similar insecurities, fears, desires etc. It was great because everyone just let go and contributed some really personal things about themselves, which made it easier for me to do that. You have to remember at places like this (self-help), people go because they are searching for something. It's highly unlikely you'll get people show up who are there to judge and make fun of everyone. Those kind of people just don't have the sense to go to a thing like that.  If you keep that in mind, a lot of your social anxiety tends to go away after a while.  Long story short - you should go! And let me know if it all goes well.  |
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Post by Liquid Clarity on May 16, 2008 1:49:46 GMT -5
actually sounds interesting i would like to hear the results.
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Post by Naptaq on May 16, 2008 6:23:45 GMT -5
I would definitely go with you to this Shadow Work thingy, if that was possible.
I have a lot of respect for Jung's work.
The Buddha said that all fear is an illusion, but that's not practical for most people, is it now? lol ;D
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Post by deadendphilosopher on May 16, 2008 16:57:39 GMT -5
Thanks for the encouragement Sweet Pea! I think it will be pretty fascinating watching everyone else, which is a strong incentive to go. Ooh, Jung! Get ready! He's intense, all right. The shadow side, uh oh. That's some strong stuff, there. Watch out for the Theory of the Collective Unconcious. Especially in a group setting! Haha, what's the Theory of Collective Unconscious? |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on May 16, 2008 17:01:30 GMT -5
Sounds like it could be quite a beneficial thing for you to do. You should definately go! I have been to something a bit like this before quite a few times (only it was more a spiritual - would rather not say what exactly it was). I was really nervous about it all, because i'd never met anyone there before - it was 16 new people to get used to. There was a "Get to know eachother" bit.. Was awkward having to tell people my name, where I was from and why I was there. But when it got down to the actual workshop, I have to say it was one of the most humbling experiences i've ever had. It's so amazing to see that in spite of how differently people present themselves (outgoing / shy / whatever), we are the same underneath and we all have similar insecurities, fears, desires etc. It was great because everyone just let go and contributed some really personal things about themselves, which made it easier for me to do that. You have to remember at places like this (self-help), people go because they are searching for something. It's highly unlikely you'll get people show up who are there to judge and make fun of everyone. Those kind of people just don't have the sense to go to a thing like that. If you keep that in mind, a lot of your social anxiety tends to go away after a while. Long story short - you should go! And let me know if it all goes well. Thanks for the encouragement! It sounds like you had a great experience at your workshop (or whatever it was), that's good to know. I think this will be a really good thing to do. |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on May 16, 2008 17:08:26 GMT -5
I would definitely go with you to this Shadow Work thingy, if that was possible. I have a lot of respect for Jung's work. The Buddha said that all fear is an illusion, but that's not practical for most people, is it now? lol ;D I don't know much about Jung's work but it seems really interesting, I'm going to research it more. It might not be practical, but it does help to keep that in mind - you can't just get rid of the fear, but you do have some control over your response to it. By thinking of it as an illusion, it can be easier to just do things you're afraid of. |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Jun 3, 2008 23:50:26 GMT -5
I've gone to two shadow work sessions, and it has been pretty interesting. The person who is
working on an issue is questioned by the facilitators and then asks different people to act out
negative voices in his/her head. (Often these voices are associated with a parent). The facilitators help the person to get to the root of the issue, and then ask and/or suggest what the person needs to do in order to regain control of the problematic inner voice.
The first session of shadow work I went to was very long, involved, and not too intense, but the 2nd one was short and very intense. The woman who was working through an issue the 2nd time was a high school teacher of mine, which was kind of weird. She chose to tap into her inner warrior energy to drive certain negative voices out and I and another girl had to act as a barrior to give her resistance as she charged toward this symbolic thing which she finally beat with a bat. It was a very emotional session.
Most people say that just watching others go through their shadow work processes helps them go through their own process, but I haven't really experienced that yet. It may be that the processes of the people who have gone so far just haven't really resignated with me enough, but I think it's because I am so nervous when I am there. I think the nervousness blocks me emotionally. I just want to blend into the wall, and as a result I won't let myself experience emotion because I might get carried away. I am getting so fed up with this anxiety that I am getting really tempted to do a process myself next time, because the first guy that went was nervous and they helped him work through it. The idea terrifies me so much, but I just can't live my life like this anymore - this is not living, and that terrifies me too! I need to do something about this now, because my life is getting shorter and the future is not going to magically make things easier, it will make things harder. I guess the thing that may terrify me the most is the possibility that I cannot succeed in overcoming my fear and/or living a full, real, meaningful life: If I don't even try, I can at least have hope and can tell myself, "I'll deal with this in the future." But if I don't even have that. . .
However on the other hand, there many, many, ways to go about gaining control over social anxiety - it is highly unlikely that none of them will have a significant effect. The best thing to do is to try everything, for that will give the greatest chances of success. I don't want to feed myself anymore bullshit, I just want to do this! And if many years down the road nothing at all has worked and I have truly done all I can, then I can peacefully give up the effort to become more relaxed and social, and can put my attention on other things without feeling like I am cheating myself out of something important in life because of fear. There are many ways to find meaning and purpose in life which do not depend on human relationships, and I'll just have to start looking if it ever comes to that, which it probably won't.
Sorry for the rant there.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 4, 2008 9:19:26 GMT -5
I am getting so fed up with this anxiety that I am getting really tempted to do a process myself next time, because the first guy that went was nervous and they helped him work through it. what the heck? why not? you have nothing to lose. i hope you'll come tell us all about the experience afterward. |
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Post by Naptaq on Jun 4, 2008 10:14:07 GMT -5
I just want to blend into the wall, and as a result I won't let myself experience emotion because I might get carried away. That reminds me of a story in one of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' books. A woman was afraid to cry, because she thought if she cried she could never stop. Then something trigered the crying and of course she was wrong, because she stopped crying, eventually. If I remember correctly it took a few 'crying sessions'. You can do it D! |
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etn
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Post by etn on Jun 4, 2008 14:32:21 GMT -5
Go for it! Wish they had something like this where I am. Don't worry about getting carried away, just let it flow. It helps to get carried away sometimes, it takes off the pressure. |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Jun 4, 2008 22:57:46 GMT -5
I am getting so fed up with this anxiety that I am getting really tempted to do a process myself next time, because the first guy that went was nervous and they helped him work through it. what the heck? why not? you have nothing to lose. i hope you'll come tell us all about the experience afterward. Well I do have some of my depleted store of peace of mind to loose: If things don't go well, I will obsessively and painfully brood about it afterward, although I'm starting to learn how to talk myself out of doing that. However you're right, I should just do it because no matter what it won't kill or emotionally destroy me, and there is a very good possibility it will help. If I do get up the courage, I will definitely tell you about it! |
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Especially in a group setting! 
