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Post by skyhint on Jun 10, 2008 1:11:29 GMT -5
..... Does anyone have thoughts or advice? ..... I'm sure we do... ;D |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Jun 10, 2008 1:14:50 GMT -5
..... Does anyone have thoughts or advice? ..... I'm sure we do... ;D Will you share? |
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Jun 10, 2008 1:31:54 GMT -5
It depends on what you want to do.
Sleeping outside with him will give him the message you want to get naked with him.
Frankly at his age that is his main goal in life is to get naked as much as possible.
I know you want to experiment but it is difficult for most girls to do that without becoming emotionally attached. OTOH lots of males can do it and it is just something fun for them and means nothing other than a release.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 10, 2008 2:00:21 GMT -5
nobody can tell you whether to do this or not. you can't forsee exactly how things are gonna go, or how you will feel about it afterwards. you don't seem to know the guy very well, from what you've posted. he may be perfectly harmless, but we can't know that...so we're not gonna tell you that, lol. you're the one who's there, and you're going to have to trust your own instincts. one piece of advice i can give you is, take protection whether you plan to do anything or not (never assume the guy's going to do it). also, be prepared with a plan of action in case he doesn't co-operate with using protection (very common). tell a girlfriend where you are, who you're with & what you are thinking might happen. casually mention to him somehow that this girlfriend knows you're with him. those are the routine precautions any women should take for an assignation with a man she doesn't know well. you're a woman now, and the decisionmaking part is up to you.
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Post by HybridMoment on Jun 10, 2008 15:00:33 GMT -5
Sleeping outside on a farm is a terrible idea, unless you have a screened porch. I don't even let my dogs sleep outside on my farm because of rabid bats and rattlesnakes.
Stay inside the barn and you can really have a roll in the hay.
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Post by madiocre on Jun 10, 2008 18:58:33 GMT -5
hmm it sounds like you are unsure what you really want you say you have desires but sound hesistant to. If you are unsure and feel like it might be too far outside your comfort zone them the safe thing would be to say no that you changed your mind . If however you do decide you do want to be practical and remember you can limit it you are well within your rights to tell him no and to stop you dont want to go further, how he may react is offcourse unpredicatble . and also I know you want to experiment but it is difficult for most girls to do that without becoming emotionally attached. OTOH lots of males can do it and it is just something fun for them and means nothing other than a release. girls are that way because its expected of them and if they dont they are given unfair labels or feel cheap but its perfectably You dont have to become that way. |
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etn
Full Member
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Post by etn on Jun 11, 2008 20:51:26 GMT -5
Sleeping outside? So that's what the kids are calling it these days?
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Post by Naptaq on Jun 15, 2008 7:19:21 GMT -5
I don't know what to make of all this. Either he just wants to be your friend and camp with you or whatever, or he might be afraid of rejection.
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gaia
New Member
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Post by gaia on Jun 15, 2008 9:40:44 GMT -5
Maybe he was just after a bit of a fling - nothing too serious. The whole "scared of being taken advantage of" thing probably really put him off making a move on you so soon. I suppose only time will tell.. if he gets back in touch and you see him again, perhaps he really did want a serious relationship. It's just not easy to tell.  |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 15, 2008 12:15:05 GMT -5
i think your answer may be right here: He asked if I'd had any experience at all, and I told him about a four day thing I had with a guy when I was 14, and he asked why it only lasted 4 days, and I honestly told him it was because I was scared. He seemed to get kind of nervous when I said that, and asked what I was scared of, and when I didn't give a straight answer he asked if I was scared of being taken advantage of in a worried voice. Then he said something about being a gentleman and implied that what he was doing was not meant to be a sexual advance, but affectionate. it seems he was afraid of the responsibility. it was obvious to him that you were scared and inexperienced and he didn't feel up to dealing with it. as anna said, perhaps he just wanted a bit of slap and tickle, and when it suddenly went serious on him he wasn't prepared for that. |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Jun 15, 2008 12:19:44 GMT -5
Maybe he was just after a bit of a fling - nothing too serious. The whole "scared of being taken advantage of" thing probably really put him off making a move on you so soon. I suppose only time will tell.. if he gets back in touch and you see him again, perhaps he really did want a serious relationship. It's just not easy to tell. Yeah, you may be right. I definitely think the whole thing was not too serious for him. I think maybe he just wanted to go with his impulses and see what happened. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 15, 2008 12:38:07 GMT -5
i think your answer may be right here: He asked if I'd had any experience at all, and I told him about a four day thing I had with a guy when I was 14, and he asked why it only lasted 4 days, and I honestly told him it was because I was scared. He seemed to get kind of nervous when I said that, and asked what I was scared of, and when I didn't give a straight answer he asked if I was scared of being taken advantage of in a worried voice. Then he said something about being a gentleman and implied that what he was doing was not meant to be a sexual advance, but affectionate. it seems he was afraid of the responsibility. it was obvious to him that you were scared and inexperienced and he didn't feel up to dealing with it. as anna said, perhaps he just wanted a bit of slap and tickle, and when it suddenly went serious on him he wasn't prepared for that. You have a good point. I don't understand why he didn't even at least kiss me, but maybe he thought that would lead me on too much or he just wasn't feeling it. Why do you think he started coming on so strong again yesterday morning though? Do you think it was just to reestablish friendliness? some guys just don't feel comfortable in the role of teacher or quasi-rapist. they won't tell you what to do or be forceful with you. instead they wait for some sign of sexual assertiveness, and when they don't get it they back off. perhaps he was hoping you'd get turned on and start behaving more assertively. if you just lie there passively waiting, some guys are not gonna do anything with you. it's just the way it is. if you don't make it clear that you want sex, they will sometimes be afraid that you will fall in love with them and be a problem for them too. there are plenty of women out there who consider it to be a contractural agreement if a man has sex with them (ok we've had sex now so we're in love and we're gonna get married and have 2.5 kids and live in the suburbs), particularly if she's a virgin. there are other possibilities, but based on what you've posted here, that would be my first guess. |
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Post by Naptaq on Jun 20, 2008 3:03:06 GMT -5
I heard "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" is a good book.
Even if he's not interested in a reletionship, you're gaining experience points - the in's and out's of socializing.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Jun 20, 2008 4:38:19 GMT -5
Some popular dating books for girls are:
Mars and Venus on a date
The Rules
He's just not that into you
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gaia
New Member
Posts: 9
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Post by gaia on Jun 22, 2008 20:04:39 GMT -5
I am wondering if anyone can give me some advice. The guy hasn't replied to my email, but apparently he called me last night like five minutes after I walked out the door to visit a friend. My mom answered the phone and told him I would be there in the morning, but he hasn't called again, and he didn't leave a number to reach him at. I'm assuming he got my email (I sent it Thurs. night), but I'm not sure. My mom said I should wait and let him call me because it can cause guys to become less interested if girls start pursuing them too much. She doesn't know anything about the situation though other than the fact that I might be interested in him and he might be interested in me. I have a feeling that he might have just called on a whim or something and might not call again. Should I wait and see if he calls me, or should I call him after a certain point? (I know what number he called from because of caller ID, but it might not even be his phone). Do you not know his phone number, then? If I were you, i'd wait for him to call you again. |
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