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Post by suttajasekundaa on Jun 29, 2008 1:47:38 GMT -5
In any case, it doesn't matter if you are nice or an *sshole, I strongly believe that boys get that certain halo at the age of 12, and the halo simply indicates wheter or not they are ever able to get dates. No matter of personality, there is just some sums of characteristics that girls find particularly discusting, such as shyness and loalty combined. That's when they say "ewwwww"
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 29, 2008 2:09:46 GMT -5
another trait i've often seen shoehorned into the "Nice Guy" label is bitterness. unfortunately, bitterness is a trait which makes anyone unattractive to others. therefore it's best not to cultivate it if you're serious about making a match.
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Post by suttajasekundaa on Jun 29, 2008 4:01:52 GMT -5
But bitternes is my favorite hobby, its a daily routine, a time to connect with my soul, like yoga.
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gaia
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Post by gaia on Jun 29, 2008 4:17:44 GMT -5
another trait i've often seen shoehorned into the "Nice Guy" label is bitterness. unfortunately, bitterness is a trait which makes anyone unattractive to others. therefore it's best not to cultivate it if you're serious about making a match. Well said, Sweetpea. Bitterness, being passive-agressive, hating all women - that's what makes them lose out no matter how they behave. |
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Post by suttajasekundaa on Jun 29, 2008 5:42:23 GMT -5
bitterness may be un-attractive, but for mortals there is a certain point where we just run out of forgiveness.
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gaia
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Post by gaia on Jun 29, 2008 13:59:47 GMT -5
bitterness may be un-attractive, but for mortals there is a certain point where we just run out of forgiveness. It's got nothing to do with forgiveness. You need to want better for yourself, and you need to have determination and patience in finding it. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 29, 2008 15:03:45 GMT -5
But bitternes is my favorite hobby, its a daily routine, a time to connect with my soul, like yoga. well, sutta...i see you haven't lost your sense of humor. that's good. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 29, 2008 15:08:27 GMT -5
bitterness may be un-attractive, but for mortals there is a certain point where we just run out of forgiveness. well, maybe you need to find a way to renew your spirit then. what helps you? connecting with nature? physical exercise of some kind? meditation? art? music? figure out what renews your spirit and do more of that. sitting at the computer spewing bitterness is probably not a good choice for you. it's just going to reinforce negative feelings and hinder your personal progress. |
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Post by suttajasekundaa on Jun 30, 2008 12:55:32 GMT -5
You guys are right. This is not sarcasm (really (I mean really it isn't)) but first I was royally pissed when I first saw this thread, must be an universal reaction among mistreated people. It's just the bitterness, it's easy to pick as an attitude, seems justified and reasonable but actually makes life quite miserable - and what comes to dating I've been pretty much like that since 2003, so maybe five years is enough  As for my personal bitterness towards certain Jenni named skank, time has helped a lot (though too much time is bad) and a question "what is my life about?" Thought about that today and life shouldn't be about bitterness, with sensible thinking it just seems like a bad use of otherwise limited time. I wonder why hey don't talk about these things in school, they do talk about condoms and colesterol, but never actually teach anything about "right" way of thinking. Would have saved atleast five years for me, and God knows how many for those who are still looking for the answer. But yes, you are right, bitterness is a turn-off for everyone and a bad path to go on. |
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Post by Astroruss on Jun 30, 2008 19:10:01 GMT -5
Indeed I am, or was a nice guy. Nowdays people around me describe me as an *sshole. Yet no-one still likes me. I guess I should have picket the golden middle-road or what is the term for that 50/50 solution in english. Being an asshole will get you many things in life, but not what you really want.  |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jun 30, 2008 20:29:01 GMT -5
Indeed I am, or was a nice guy. Nowdays people around me describe me as an *sshole. Yet no-one still likes me. I guess I should have picket the golden middle-road or what is the term for that 50/50 solution in english. Being an asshole will get you many things in life, but not what you really want. yeah, like a kick in the ass. glad you're feeling more positive, sutta. |
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Post by cradith on Jul 3, 2008 5:56:43 GMT -5
I can't stand cocky men, they think they are God's gift to women and you can't trust them as far as you can throw them. I live with one for 5 years, at first he was Mr. nice guy but after awhile his true colours came through. They start treating you like crap and get all upset when you start treating them the same way. I'm doing the same thing to my husband right now. I thought he was a nice guy and then after his parent's divorcing and my mother passing away in the same year I found out quickly that my feelings took a back seat to his.
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gaia
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Post by gaia on Jul 3, 2008 9:38:56 GMT -5
I can't stand cocky men, they think they are God's gift to women and you can't trust them as far as you can throw them. I live with one for 5 years, at first he was Mr. nice guy but after awhile his true colours came through. They start treating you like crap and get all upset when you start treating them the same way. I'm doing the same thing to my husband right now. I thought he was a nice guy and then after his parent's divorcing and my mother passing away in the same year I found out quickly that my feelings took a back seat to his. Some guys are "nice guys" at first, but that's just a trap as far as i'm concerned. Your experience (like a lot of other women's) just go to show that this whole "nice guy" debate isn't really about men who are 'nice' at all. |
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Post by cyclopse on Aug 3, 2008 21:28:12 GMT -5
I think alot of girls are attracted to confidance or cockiness like the article says. I will use myself for an example. When i am at work i am very confident in myself and my abiliities. I am very loose thier my real personality comes out. Its thier is where alot of the girls like to talk to me or even hangout Unfortunately its the workplace and their alot of stuff that goes along with that situation so its not all good.
Just recently went to a new store one of my comanagers who is very attractive female and i have started hanging out with each other. Now this is the workplace so nothing can happen but if i woud have seen her in a bar i would have never talk to her and i dont think she would have approached me and become friends.
I guess the biggest thing is making everything your element instead of that one thing which i seem only to able to do when i go to work and thats not helping me much. Its just making me more frustrated.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Aug 3, 2008 21:32:14 GMT -5
it is possible to be nice AND confident...just sayin'...
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