Nice Guys...

[madiocre]

yeah i think the problem is usually how we define nice .
Im learning this the hard way.
you see i sorta had my idea of a nice guy pinned to the nerd "stereotype"
i m not sure why but somehow i thought that if the guy is nerdy it mean s he's nice .
turns out its not true . well obviously.

Its really hard to tell if a guy is genuinely "nice"
whatever that means to you anyway .

i find confidence good in the right dose , and an overdose ie cockiness is usually an indicator that they arent anyway they are just trying to sell themselves to you .

[lennythegiant]

The whole "nice guy" thing is an interesting topic, probably why it comes up so often here.

Most women don't want guys who are abusive jerks, and assuming that they do because women don't immediately gravitate to the "nice guy" is probably insulting. A woman who is with a jerk probably saw something about the guy that she liked. He happens to be a jerk, but maybe there are other aspects to his personality that she liked.

But the thing of it is, is that he was willing to demonstrate his personality, both the good and the bad aspects of it. "Nice guys" run into trouble because they don't demonstrate their personality. You have to put yourself out there, as you really are. If you try to be "nice" and cater to what you think people want, it's going to seem like you are trying too hard to impress people, and it may seem like you have something to hide.

Personally, I've never had any luck with the ladies. I've always been a bit of a dork. The thing of it is, I used to try to hide that. I used to try to always fit in and be nice and cater to what people might think is the "right" personality to have. What I figured out was that I made it seem like I had no personality at all. My strategy now is to not hide what I'm really like. I'm awkward at times, I have a lot of nerdy hobbies, but I'm not going to hide it because it's probably better that women get to know the real me and not like it than try to come off as a people pleaser and bore them.